Above you and below you (la squadra x fem!reader)

39- blueberry peaches

(im going to write all my books in a doc, then when i finish them, i can just paste everything here and get it all done in one blow! im sure you all would like that as well, that way you can just binge read and get it over with!)

the soft whistles of midnight wind slipping through leaves played quietly in your ears, the very ears you wished had never heard prosciutto call you such vulgar names. with a slight limp in your stride, you pondered why you dont just leave the man to pass out against a tree, maybe have one of the deck get him instead. no, if you did that, you'd be no better than prosciutto himself. after all, you're above him, right? why lower yourself to his level when you can go so much higher. 

speaking of prosciutto, the sorry excuse of a man was still clinging tightly to you, the reality of your rejection most likely just now hitting him. maybe, under different circumstances, you would've accepted his feelings. though right now, in this situation, his claim seemed all too fake, like an attempt for you to forgive him on the spot just because he harbored feelings for you.

you dont call someone desperate when you're the one on your knees.

his grip tightened on you when you tripped forward, being thankfully caught by [GOLDEN RULE], who gave you a sorry look. he knew you wouldn't hand over prosciutto to him, that it would be too big of a blow to your pride, though your stand would still try his hardest to ease the searing pain in your ankle.

prosciuttos shaky breath, which most likely manifested from him pushing down cries of despair, fanned against your neck, making you more annoyed than sorry. after all, you did nothing to trigger his actions. you had no control of it. so, if all that is true, then why did you still feel a sting of guilt hit your chest? a pain so harsh, that you were sure it hurt more than your foot?

it could be that maybe, for some terrible, horrible reason, you liked prosciutto as well, perhaps more. however, you could already hear [GOLDEN RULE] lecturing you on falling for men that yell curses at you then love you right after. to be perfectly fair, if that were to happen, he would be right. its a terrible situation to find yourself in if you by chance love a man who will only use you, like a towel to dry hands then be thrown away.

'avoid those men and women like the plague, honey.' you imagine him saying. 'they bring nothing but trouble. why would you love a person who fixes your broken heart with scotch tape? go find yourself a lover who will mend your heart with golden ribbon, and fine bandages. dont sell yourself short, and dont lower your standards if you dont find love as quick as you want to.. it gives the wrong people chances at something the right person deserves.'

maybe that was actually the rational part of you telling yourself that, rather than goldie, which made you thankful that you didnt grow too soft having living in the house of hitmen... could that have been your issue? growing too comfortable around people you were sure you could trust with your very life? perhaps it was. perhaps if you didnt do that, then you couldve prevented this attack entirely.

oh, how selfish of you to think these men even had a care for you, to think that they were protecting you rather than their own ego.

how very selfish indeed, (y/n).

though, consider this...

that wasnt your fault.

youre supposed to trust yourself and your team with anything, though its ok to not be completely comfortable with everyone and every situation. though, it seems that this team only relied on themselves, and occasionally each other when it comes down to it.