Above you and below you (la squadra x fem!reader)

40- discount michael jackson cries then takes a nap

(a quick thank you to my friend that came up with this chapter name)

you all saw the interaction and clearly manipulated 'make-up' between prosciutto and y/n (which we'll tap into later..), but did you ever wonder why everything happened so fast last chapter? well, you can thank our darling robot The Heart for that! here's his point of view, to show how everything came to be last chapter :)

this will be everything that happened up until heart found you, for clarification.

---------- the heart pov:----------

i cant even begin to wonder what makes this simple, basic girl wanted by so many men. yeah, she's got some muscle and is pretty considerate and pretty, but other than that, she looks like every other woman. though, my opinions may be forged by my programming, which told me that all humans are to be registered the same, (though that idea is ignored when spade is involved).

although i volunteered to go after this group of children, i didnt sign up to babysit them. which, may i add, is why ive decided that each time i find one, ill simply haul them over my shoulder like the basic sack of potatoes they are.

it didnt take long for me to find the first of the group of men, due to the great help of [blinding lights]. i dont believe ive seen him before, or at least payed attention to him whenever he was around. he was a brunette with strange pigtails and a seemingly padded purple shirt that strikingly resembled square bubble wrap. he was laying on his side, obviously in minimal pain, though it was clear he was exasperated.

digging through my memory, i found that this pitiful cretin was named 'illuso', of which was one of miss (y/n)s close friends according to her and several others. his face was scrunched and twisted, lungs carefully taking in heavy breaths while his features turned beet red. he mustve been running for a while to be so tired to the point that he cant even move. if i recall correctly, this man had a stand as well, but maybe he wasnt in the right environment to use it for defense against whatever was chasing him.

after a moment, illusos eyes gently fluttered open, peering at me with tears pricking at the corners. "(y..(y/n)..."

"nah, you got the wrong person, mate." i chuckled, quickly scooping him up and throwing him over my shoulder without a second thought.

he made an audible 'oof' as his stomach landed on my metal shoulder, which reminded me that humans are normally sensitive after overworking themselves. it mustve hurt to be so harshly thrown onto such a tough, cold surface after over-exerting yourself. its a pity, though it could care less. i havent learned what pity is yet anyway.

"who.. are you then..?" illuso mumbled, saliva dribbling out of his mouth as he took a second to regain his stamina.

ew, for one. 

"just your friendly neighborhood android, coming out here to save the lives of several idiots who cant take care of themselves." i hummed in response.

"you sound like... optimus prime but with asthma...."

i merely laughed at his statement, pushing off the urge to just abandon the lad right here and now. those damn Australian engineers forgot to include sympathy as an unlockable emotion, so i have no problem with just punting illuso across this endless forest like a football. "that's because im a robot, illuso."

all was peacefully quiet for a moment, but only a moment. "(y/n)... where is she?"

im dangerously close to strangling this discount michael jackson. does he have to talk every five goddamn minutes? "she is safe and sound at your living quarters. im unaware of your relationship with her, but i know she cares about you deeply."