20| his breath on my skin

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Rye's POV

Shit, shit, shit Andy saw the knife and the letter I got. Hopefully, he is not looking for anything behind it. It has been a couple of days now that I have received such notes. It all started before the kidnapping. The day after Andy went to the pub. They all told me to leave him alone. Usually, I don't care, but yesterday it was just too much. Jack who was angry with me, Amy who said such things, Andy who had a panic attack and an asthma attack and then that message. I felt so bad and it was the truth. I let him down, I don't deserve him, but I don't want Andy to know that I am cutting myself again and I certainly don't want him to find out about those notes. He will be worried about protecting me and helping me and I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be helped. All I deserve is to be hurt, to be left alone. And even worse, I feel bad that I yelled at him when he just wanted to help me. I wanted to follow him, but Mickey stopped me and followed him. Now I am waiting in the kitchen. Hopefully, Mickey has found him and nothing has happened. I am taken out of my mind by Brook "do you want pancakes too" he says with his mouth full. I nod, and he slides the plate with the pancakes towards me. I take one off and put some white sugar on it and put it in my mouth. Mmm... they are delicious. "They're delicious, aren't they?" asked Jack and I nod "Andy made them" he informs me. Of course, Andy made them, nobody else makes better pancakes than Andy. After a few minutes, Mickey and Andy come inside, and they start talking. Andy and I don't say anything to each other and I just eat the pancakes.

We are chatting and suddenly Brook comes up with the idea to go to the gym. What a great idea, then I can change my mind a bit. Everyone agrees except Andy. Mickey asks if he shouldn't stay, but Andy says he should come along.

After a few minutes, we leave. Mickey does not think it is a good idea to leave Andy alone, but Brook and Jack reassure him. When we arrive at the gym, I quickly change my clothes, take my headphones and start my workout. Normally I can clear my head completely when I work out, but this time it doesn't work out. I feel bad about how I did to Andy and I want to make up for it. I tell the others I'm going home and pack my things. I can't miss my chance to be there for Andy again. I get completely out of breath at the flat. I throw down my bag and walk to the kitchen. I open the door and Andy gets up in shock. shit, I woke him up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" I say. "It's nothing" he says with a little smile as he rubs the sleep out of his eyes. I walk up to him and hug him. He's obviously in shock with my action, but fast he hugs back. "Are you all right?" he asks worried and a bit surprised. "I'm sorry, about everything. That I scream at you, that I let you down" I say, trying to hold back my tears. "I forgive you" he says with his soft sexy voice. We separate and I sit down and face him. "You know if there's something, you can always tell me" he says when he holds my shoulders and looks straight into my eyes. I can't hold back the tears any more and I let them run down my face. He takes me back in a hug and rubs my back to calm me down. We are sitting like that a few minutes, and then we separate. "Shall we watch a film" he suggests. I nod and he puts on a film. He doesn't ask me why I'm crying or anything about the knife, which I'm happy for.

After half an hour Andy lies asleep. He rests his head on my shoulder and lays himself down a bit closer. I love him so much. I caught myself staring at his lips. They were so beautifully pink and plump. My head automatically moved closer. I could already feel his breath on my skin. We were only a few inches apart when I heard the door open and it brought me back to reality. Andy had also woken up and skinned himself. Mickey and the others came in. "Oh we're not disturbing anything, I hope" says Mickey enthusiastically. "No, we were just watching a film" says Andy. "Are we going to eat now?" Brook starts whining.

Not much later we were all sitting together on the couch eating fries. Andy and I can talk again, just like we used to. It felt so good and we could finally laugh again. We played board games and watched a film. It all felt so good, but there was something else.

Next day

Today we are back in the studio to record new covers. Mickey wanted to cancel for Andy, but Andy wanted to go. He said he felt good and could handle recording the covers, but something in me told me that wasn't true. I know Andy can hide well when he's not feeling well, he doesn't want to seem weak. Usually, I could tell by his behaviour, but today I couldn't say it.

Brook was recording his part and Andy and I are talking. It feels so good to talk to him like normal. I'm glad we made that up because I can't live without him. Just at that moment, I got a message. I take my phone out of my pocket and look who it was. Amy. I don't feel like seeing her or talking to her. "Who is it?" asks Andy while he eats a doughnut. "No one important" I say and put my phone back away. "How no one important?" he asks. "You... uh... have some here" I say while I wipe some chocolate away from his cheek. Andy and I look at each other and I can see him blush a bit. His eyes seem to hypnotize me. He stares straight into my eyes and I look in his until my eyes wander to his lips. He bites on his lower lip and it looks like we are magnets getting closer and closer. I look from his eyes to his lips and notice that he is doing the same. I can already feel his breath on my skin. "Andy it's your turn!" shouts Brook as he comes out of the recording room. Andy puts his doughnut aside and wipes the crumbs off his pants and walks into the recording room. And then he starts to sing. His voice sounds like angelic singing. I lean back in the couch and close my eyes and focus on his voice. It seems as if I am no longer present in the world and seem to float somewhere, but my peace is broken by someone calling me. Amy again. I put my phone away again and try to focus on Andy's voice again, but that doesn't work because of the ringing of my mobile phone. It's Amy again. I decided to pick up. I say "yes" a bit dry. "Rye, I'm sorry, please I want you back. Can't we talk about it?" She's moaning. I doubt "OK then, at your house" I say. "OK and I love you" she says and I turn off the mobile. I look up and see that Andy is looking at me. I smile at him and wave. He also laughs and waves back and starts singing again. I... I don't know what to do any more. I love Amy, but Andy...

⚠️A/N:
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