Don't leave me - serie 1

32| "I am sorry"

A/N:
This chapter contains scenes of hate and suicide attempts. Please skip this chapter if you are sensitive to any of these topics or too young to be in contact with them.

If you think about suicide or have suicidal thoughts, try to talk about it with someone (friends, family, someone professional...) and remember that everyone is beautiful as they are and no less than any other person. And please remember, everything is going to be fine. No matter how bad it looks, every tunnel will come to an end even if it is long and dark.

The hate that appears in this chapter is not directed at anyone. I love Andy, and I don't understand why people send hate. I see hate as a flight reaction because you don't feel good about yourself and therefore only give hate to others, to feel better over yourself. I don't approve this. People should learn that you have to indicate the positive points of people and not the bad points.

Andy's POV

Everything is Black, everywhere I look I see darkness, nothing. I begin to panic, I don't like the darkness. Always when I was scared Rye would take me in his arms, and immediately I would feel safe, he is the only one who can make me feel safe. I start looking around, looking for a way out, A way out of this darkness, out off this place, but there are no windows, no doors, nothing, no escape. I start trembling, my hands begin to feel sweaty, and I am getting it really hot. I feel a pressure on my chest and breathing is becoming difficult. I lay my hand on my chest I try to breathe normally, but it doesn't succeed. I walk backwards until I feel something behind me, I let me slit down and pull my legs up to my chest and lay my head in my hands. Difficult to breathe I start to cry and my breath becomes even more irregular. tears begin to stream down my cheek. help! somebody help! I am scared! I am scared! I don't like darkness. I feel how I become dizzy and everything starts spinning, I put my hand on the ground to prevent me from falling. I try to focus on one point, but there is nothing to focus on because there is simply nothing, only darkness. I put my head in my hands and hold my head to stop the spinning.

"Andy!" I lift, by someone calling my name, but I am still in the darkroom and I can't see anyone, I am still alone. "Andy!" I look at my right side because the voice seems to come from there. "Andy" now the voice seems to come from the left side. "W... who a... are you!" I ask, but I don't get an answer. "Andy!" I hear the voice again, and it seems to come from everywhere. "W... Who are you?!" I scream, but no one answers. "Andy!" now there is something different about the voice, it seems familiar... it, it's Rye's voice. I get up and look around "Rye where are you?" I scream. No answer. "Rye! Rye where are you?" I scream again, but again no answer. Why is he not answering? Is there something wrong? "Rye! Rye, please answer, scream, just something, please!" I beg him, but nothing. is he gone? has something happened to him? "Rye" I scream while tears of fear begin to run down my cheek.

"Andy!" Finally, I hear his voice again and I let out a sigh of release. "Andy!" I hear again, but now it sounds nearby, like almost behind me. "Andy!" his voice seems to come from behind me. I turn around smiling, but my smile fades away when I am met with the darkness. No Rye only darkness, where is he? "Where are you?!" I scream. I wait for a response from him and finally, he answers my question "here!" he screams, but I can't say from where it's coming. "where?!" I ask. "here!" he shouts back, and now his voice comes from a certain way. I start walking that way, even to I don't know where I am going. "Andy!" Rye screams again. "Rye I am coming" I scream. "hurry!" he shouts and I begin to run. Why do I need to hurry? is he in danger? There must have happened something. I run even faster if the thoughts make me scared of what had happened. He keeps calling my name, but I can't find him. I stop to catch some breath, I am exhausted from the running. "Rye... where are you, I can't find you!" I scream.

"here, I am here" his voice sounds so close, but I can't see him, I look around me, but he is not there. "I can't see you, where are you?" I ask while keep looking around. "I am right here, open your eyes" he says, but I have my eyes open. How can I open my eyes if they are already open? "but my eyes are open and I still can't see you" I say. "Andy, you need to open your eyes" he says. "But they are open" I answer him. "Close them en open them again" he says. I am confused, but I do what he says. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and open my eyes again.