Don't leave me - serie 1

22| my secret

Andy's POV

I am woken up by a loud bang. I am startled and try to see who it is. my vision is blurry because of the sleep in my eyes, but then a familiar voice sounds "sorry, I didn't mean to wake you", it's Rye. "It's nothing" I say with a smile as I wipe the sleep out of my eyes to get a clearer picture and before I know it I feel two strong arms around me. I need a few seconds to realize what is happening but then hug back. "Everything okay?" I ask worried and surprised. "I'm sorry, about everything. That I screamed on you, that I let you down" he says. "I forgive you" I say, even if I had done that a long time ago. I just can't stay angry with Rye. We let go and I get cold by suddenly losing the warmth of Rye. He sits in front of me "you know if there is something, you can always tell me" I say while holding his shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. I see the tears in his eyes and not much later his tears roll down his cheeks. I hug him back and rub his back to calm him down. I hate to see Rye so vulnerable. We stay like that and it feels so good to have him close to me, to hold him, to smell his scent. Everything I had missed I had back or almost everything. We separate. I can see on his face that he doesn't want to talk about his feelings, so I propose to watch a film. We put ourselves in my bed and put on a film. I feel like slipping away and my eyes are getting heavier. Eventually, I surrender to the fatigue and close my eyes.

Again I was awakened by a door that flew open. I was startled and noticed that I had fallen asleep on Rye's shoulder. I saw that he was looking at me and I tried to hide that I was blushing. "Oh we're not disturbing anything" says Mickey enthusiastically. "No, we were just watching a film" I say. "Are we going to eat now?" Brook starts whining as usual.

Not much later we were eating chips together. Rye and I spent the whole evening talking and it felt so good, just like old times. We played board games and watched a film. I had to hold back not to stare at Rye all the time, but I think he noticed.

Next day

I woke up with a huge headache and the whole room was spinning again. It was still early so nobody was awake. Luckily! I walk to the kitchen and take some painkillers from the cupboard. It's a miracle cure, after less than fifteen minutes my headache and dizziness are gone. I've been doing it for a few days and it works so well. It's my secret and no one is allowed to know because then they'll start to think I'm weak and maybe they'll throw me out of the band. I'm going to get changed and start breakfast. In the meantime, I also do the laundry and have cleaned the bathroom. I want to make myself as useful as possible because then they might not throw me out of the band.

After everyone had eaten, we leave for the studio. I should first have convinced Mickey that I was ready. I felt bad, but I shouldn't let that show. Fortunately, the pills can help me a lot.

Meanwhile, Brook was recording his part and Rye and I were talking, but our conversation was interrupted by his mobile phone. I ask "who is it?" while I take another bite of my doughnut. "No one important" he says and puts his mobile phone away. "How no one important?" I ask, but he doesn't answer my question. "You... uh... have some hanging here" he says, and he wipes some chocolate off my cheek with his thumb. I don't dare to look at him at first, because I am blushing, but still, I look straight into his eyes, and they won't let go of me. I feel my heartbeat accelerating and let my hands rest on my lap. His eyes go from my eyes to my mouth and I do the same. Without noticing I bite on my lower lip. It's as if we are attracted to each other like magnets, and we get closer and closer until I feel his breath on my skin. "Andy it's your turn" shouts Brook. shit, why does he have to ruin it? I put my doughnut aside and wipe the crumbs off my lap while I curse Brook in my mind. I love him, but why does he have to ruin this moment? I walk into the recording room and start to sing my part.

When I have to wait I see that Rye is on the phone. He doesn't seem happy, it seems like he is bored with whoever is calling him. I wonder who it is. I see Rye looking at me. He noticed that I was looking at him. He laughs and waves at me and I do the same to him and start to sing again.

When I was finally finished I felt so tired but tried not to let it show. It was now Rye's turn. I put myself in the chair. His voice sounds so beautiful, I close my eyes to focus on his voice. It calmed me down and I felt gradually wandering off into a deep sleep.

When I woke up again I was at the flat. How did I get here? I don't remember going home. "Ow you're awake" says Mickey. "We didn't want to wake you so Rye carried you home" he says after he sees that I'm clearly confused. "Are you hungry?" he asks. Actually I'm not very hungry, but if I don't eat anything, it also seems strange. Then I say "yes".

We eat something and watch a film. Brook and Jack have also returned. According to Mickey they were on a date, but they say it's not true. In the meantime, Brook has fallen asleep on Jack, even though it is only 7 o'clock, but it was a tough day. They are so cute. But I feel so bad because of the headache and the spinning of the room, I try not to let notice anything. "I think we should all go to sleep" suggests Mickey "it has been a busy day". We all agree and Jack brings Brook bridal style to the room. I walk to the bathroom to change clothes. I do my evening routine, but I have to rush to the toilet to throw up. I flush and get down on my knees in front of the toilet. "Are you okay?" I hear a voice behind me. It is Rye. I say "yes yes" and put on a fake smile and go wash my hands. "Sure, you don't look well" he says worriedly. "I feel great" I say and walk out of the bathroom and leave Rye alone. "The bathroom is free" I say when I enter the room and when Mickey is gone I quickly take some more painkillers and put myself in my bed.

A/N:
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