An Apple A Day(Trixya)

Does It Scare You?

Katya slowly opened her eyes and groaned when the sunlight hit her eyes, the eyes that were still filled with sleep. Katya sat up and yawned, trying to wake herself up. She looked around and saw that Trixie wasn't in the room. Shit. Katya sighed when she thought about last night. She wasn't supposed to sleep with Trixie, she wasn't supposed to have sex with Trixie but she did. "Oh, you're finally awake." Katya looked up to see Trixie standing in the doorway. She had a towel wrapped around her body, her hair soaking wet. Katya swallowed hard as she stared at Trixie. There were drops of water dripping off of Trixie's body and Katya wanted to catch every single one of them.

"Uh, yeah. What time is it?"

"About 1:30."

"Shit, I slept for a long time."

"I mean, what did you expect?" Trixie chuckled and walked to her closet to get dressed. She let the towel drop to her feet as she reached for a tank top. Katya looked away, trying to find anything to focus on, anything but Trixie. "Katya, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you come here last night?"

"Oh um, I don't really know." Katya really had no idea why she decided to come to Trixie of all people last night. She wasn't thinking at all, her brain wasn't working last night. She just got in the car after she left Violet's house and drove wherever. Katya didn't want to say it but she felt safe with Trixie, she felt like nothing could touch her. That is what she needed last night, she needed to feel safe.

"You don't?"

"Not exactly."

"May I ask why you were so upset?" Katya sighed as she brought her knees to her chest.

"Violet." Trixie stopped in her tracks, looking at Katya.

"What do you mean?"

"Last night, she called me over. She sounded upset but I went to see what she wanted. I thought that maybe her and her husband had a fight, so she just needed to relax. When I got there, she just grabbed me by my throat and started kissing me. I mean, I am usually fine with that stuff but she just seemed so mad. I asked what was wrong after pushing her away and she told me to stay away from you." Trixie sat on the bed next to Katya and kissed her head.

"I'm sorry love."

"Trixie?"

"Yes?"

"Does this scare you?"

"What love? Does what scare me?"

"This thing between us." Trixie took a deep breathe as she ran her fingers through her still wet hair.

"I don't know what this is, so yes. If I knew what we were doing then maybe I could decide where it is doing but I am in the dark. It isn't just sex. I tried telling myself that but that didn't really work too well."

"Oh." Katya looked away from Trixie, not wanting to show her disappointment.

"I spoke with my mother last night because I couldn't sleep. I hadn't spoken to her in a while. It helped me see a few things. But I like the time I spend with you Katya, I like the emotions we share. The emotions we share in everything we do with each other."

"Why?"

"Why what love?"

"Why hadn't you two spoken?"

"Simple answer, I don't like being vulnerable." Trixie looked at her hand as she took Katya's. "Because letting people get so close is scary to me. My ex fucked me up and I can admit that. I can also admit that I didn't take the correct steps to get better from that heartbreak, to heal. I lied to everyone, including  myself, well mostly myself. I thought that saying it was fine and that I didn't really love her would make me feel better. All it did though was hurt me, because I did love her, I loved her a lot. She was my best friend, my safe place. I just didn't want to come to terms with what had happened, so I hid from it. Whenever someone started getting close to me, I shut it down. I walked away from them completely."

"Are you going to do that with me?" Trixie smiled softly and put her hand on Katya's cheek.

"I don't think I can, even if I tried."

"So, what are we going to do?"

"Well, what we are doing now. We don't need a title right now. All we need is to go with the flow and be honest with each other. I'll be honest about my feelings and you do the same. Is that okay?" Katya nodded as she leaned in, kissing Trixie.

***

"Katya, where have you been?" Katya had just walked in the front door of her home when she heard her mother's voice. She stood confused as her mom frowned at her. "I asked you a question, you better answer me."

"Um, I went to see a friend last night. They were having a hard time. I texted Willam and told her."

"Don't lie to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You are in big trouble. Give me your keys and phone."

"Wait, what did I do?"

"I got a phone call from someone saying that you are sleeping with one of your teachers Katya."

"Mo-"

"Don't mom me. Katya, I expect better from you. What were you thinking?"

"Mom, I-"  Katya's mom snatched the keys out of her hands and stared her down.

"Go to your room, now." Katya walked past her mom but was stopped when her mother grabbed her jacket. "Give me your phone." Katya looked in her mother's eyes and without a word, she threw her phone on the coffee table next to the stairs. "Oh, and we will be moving soon. Your father and I have been thinking about it anyway. We wanted to wait until you were done with your last year of high school, but since you aren't focusing on school anyway..there is no point in waiting." Katya felt her heart drop at her mother's words. Katya's mother walked into the kitchen and began to cook dinner, leaving Katya with a sick feeling. Katya rushed up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door. She held her stomach as she slowly walked to her bed, laying down. Katya's throat and eyes burned as she began to cry. This couldn't be happening, this much be just a bad dream. Trixie had finally let Katya in, she had finally open the door to Katya, but that didn't matter. It was all nothing now.