Be mindful of how you leave people. Leave them with a conclusive sense rather than leaving them with a thread of unease and dearth of contentment hanging between you both. In this world no one is permanent. No one. People come and go. And we need to realise that, for other's lives, we are such "people" too. We enter into someone's life then leave. We too leave people, don't we ? One day, one definite day, we are going to move forward, leaving everything and everyone behind.,clearing one phase, one step. And a part of life,turns to a memory. We have been allotted a small proportion of our life with different individuals. When that time is up, we have to leave them. Willingly or unwillingly.While being alive or after being dead.Just think about it, there are very few people who still have that same passionate connection with their childhood friends or some favourite teacher. There are few who miss being with someone but neither can go back or bring them as they were before.
While thinking of this permanency of impermanence, I feel cautious of the memories we leave with them. Its memories that stay long after separation.
Then ,think about what's the last memory you've left someone with when seeing them the last time ?
What was it that they felt when you were standing before them for the last time ? Was it warmth or cold ? Was it adoration and respect or malice and grudge ? What was it ?
I'm not talking about pleasing people. In no way, I'm saying that compromise on your values or self esteem. What I'm talking about is , have we done something to make this world a little better by going against the common norms of cold responses and hidden motives ?
I remember a lot of people in my life. Some of them daily come to my mind, while some just visit occasionally. And most of the times, I force myself to remember the good things we shared,the happy moments. I regret not spending the time given to me to make our bond more beautiful. More blossoming. I sometimes smile sadly, and sometimes bitterly. I ,being a human, remember the things they did to hurt me.Then I ,being a human again, think about such actions of mine that have left upsetting imprints on someone else too.
I have friendships of decades but I cannot recall more than two moments of happiness with them.,instead I can very well recall the mean behaviours of them in abundance 😅
And I also remember the strangers I met on bus rides or some event or conferences. Who barely have spent two days with me, but I feel energised by remembering that conversations we had. I remember my friend's mother, who was so sweet and caring when I visited their home just for few hours. I can still recall her concerned eyes, because it was a very hot day, and I couldn't drink the sharbat she had made,as I was fasting. That gesture was so warming. Living away from your family and seeing some other woman care for you as your mum does. She is no more in this world , but everyone of us who met her, has one such warm memory of her.
This is what I think of. Because life is so unpredictable ,so volatile. You reach your end and you aren't even aware of that. So make sure you leave a positive imprint, a welcoming mark on everyone's life , whomever you meet. Not for them, but for you. Trust me, Allah rewards for such kindness and lovely behaviour. Do it sincerely,one cannot even fake it at first place. Because smiles may be put on artificially but eyes have this tendency to reflect what's in the heart. And those eyes , they are the most prominent images of memories 💖
#OldWriteUpsFromDiaries.
--- Zeenat Nazeer
