I remember watching an elderly man in the park when I was 14 or 15 maybe. We used to go for morning walks and to study in fresh air early morning after fajr. And this man, in his late 50s used to come for walk as many others did. Everyday he came sharp at 7.15 AM. With his ipod or whatever device he had. What got our attention to him was the constant music he played throughout his walk in the park. He mostly played gazals in voices that sounded as if someone has been reluctantly woken up from sleep. They bored us to no extent. I mean who listens such gloomy thing right in the beginning of the day ! That too a chirpy,bright morning??!! 🙄We used to acquire a place in the comfy green grass while he preferred to take the walk on the loop around it. So, after a certain time interval, we had to listen to whatever he did, whenever he passed by us. To say his music annoyed us, would be understatement 😐😑
Few days back...I was reading a part of Deewan of Ahmad Faraz. Not so interesting but I read some poetry lines that I had heard repeatedly before, from that elderly man in the Park. In that poem, the poet requests, begs his beloved to "come back" , even if its to hurt him and leave him again ! Okay ! Foolish enough! But what struck me was the dedication and devotion to someone who've left him and who isn't coming back even for the sake of anything. Stubborn much , right ?The next thing that came in my mind was,...Do we love Allah to this extent ?
While knowing that He subhanahuwata'ala will never leave us or abandon us like a human beloved does ? While knowing that He Azzawajal loves us more than any human could or can love any other human being ever on this earth. Despite of knowing that Allah has always been there for us , we don't love Him as He subhanahuwata'ala deserves to be loved. We don't get that perfect job, and we get upset. We get some disease and we become ungrateful for all other blessings. We don't get that person whom we loved so much, and we stop making Dua. A loved one dies suddenly and we lose faith in Allah. We think He has inflicted pain upon us , He has hurt us NaudhuBillah. We are not at all ready to accept pain or rejection from Allah, when its not even Him who's hurting you. The pain decreed in your way is a means of your own purification. But we don't want that in our life, now do we ? We can accept if a mere human being leaves us, comes back, hurts us again and leaves us yet again ! SubhanAllah. But we don't bother to turn in the way of Allah, thinking that someone else's love can suffice us ! No ! It can never !
We don't love Allah enough to accept whatever befalls on us with an open mind and heart. We cannot suffer in that blissful agony of love when its for Allah. But we can spend days n nights calling upon that unrequited love who has left us ! Isn't it too unfair ? I think it is. We can lay down for being slaughtered if the killer is whomever we love. Just for their happiness, just to see them once you can sacrifice your very breaths. You can stay up whole night fumbling with the leftovers of their hopeless love, watering the already decayed memories. You can spend your whole day lingering and flickering below the window of your beloved, like a panhandler. If not so, atleast hallucinate them wherever possible.
But do we spare that much time thinking about Allah, the All Loving , Al Wadud? Its not a question I'm asking you , ask it yourself. Answer it yourself.
What surprises me is that separation with beloved can lend someone a deathbed. But we easily forget about all the love and mercy Allah has shown us. We barely think about reconciliation with Him in times of hardships and calamities. We just lose hope in Him , guessing He cannot come back if we call Him ! But know that ,...no one can come back as quickly as Allah does. Infact He never leaves us. He just waits for that one helpless sigh from us and ,...What ? He is there in fractions of the moment !!!
Allah is not like that inconstant adamant beloved of yours who cannot listen to your failed attempts of self-mortgaging 😅
Stop devaluing yourself for someone who cannot come back for anything. Turn back to Allah. The One Who deserves all the love on earth since eternity, till eternity and much beyond that ❤❤❤ And all will be fine. Because when you have Allah ....do you need someone else ? Atleast I don't.
#WhenPoetryAnnoysYou
