Knowing that your existence isn't even acknowledged by those who have a very significant place in your life is hearbreaking. Trust me, I've been there. Trying to give them comfort in every way possible, trying to help them going totally out of the way, but when I was concerned, they were nowhere. Not even for asking, if I'm okay !! So many months, I waited for them to reach back , with atleast a "How are you doing?" But that waiting never ended. And for so many days, I was grieving that my efforts,and my affection for them had gone vain. I was focusing on those for whom, I was just some other person of this overpopulated world. And it did nothing but add more sorrow to my sinking heart. But then one day, I realised out of nowhere that I've been giving all the care and attention to others that I needed myself from myself the most. It was onerous to allot such people into the now "unimportant" category and put my own name in that que all alone. But for you to seek yourself, its necessary. I learnt so many things in this process. So many.
The best thing is to not chase that which isn't chasing you. You don't have to have their backs everytime who don't even check back at you. Let your self worth be the most important thing for you. Yes, its difficult, may seem impossible even. It'll take a lot of time, so many crying sessions, but once you've cried enough, then don't mourn over that which technically wasn't even yours. Once you've emptied your heart with all the devotion for people.,look at yourself in the mirror of your heart. Search that which soothes YOU. Seek that which heals you, gives you joy. Spend more time with yourself. Talk to Allah about yourself, Talk to Him about your and His relationship. Talk to Him about the things you love and want. Talk to Him about your dreams and wishes. Talk to Him about your shortcomings, flaws and fears. Talk to Him about Him. Talk to Him as if He is your best friend, and to be true, He is your ONLY BEST FRIEND. The One Who will never let you go. Never ever. The best friend who wants you to seek your authentic self. The one who wants you to be sincere and truthful with yourself. When we are sincere with ourselves, we become sincere with Him. And then the rest of the world will be at the place where it should have been from the very beginning. Then we realize the place where His creation should be kept. At the hands. Not in the heart. All that matters is just your relationships with Allah subhanahuwata'ala. And when its all about what's between you and your Creator, why would you want His creation...hmmm ? 🙃
#WalkingtowardsSelfLove
#WishMeKhayr
