The Bedshare Agreement

Chapter 19: Lord, I really want to sin

Suddenly, I felt Tine's hand over mine, which made me look up.

"Then I'll make all the good things come to you"

Sarawat's POV

My hands quivered under Tine's touch. I had slept hugging Tine last night and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. And yet, Tine suddenly touching me in the light of day made me incredibly nervous. I didn't deserve this treatment. I didn't this beautiful lunch. And I definitely didn't deserve Tine.

"I have made too many mistakes in my life to ever deserve good things in life, Tine" I tried to get my hand out of Tine's hold, but he only held my wrist tighter.

"No Sarawat. You haven't"

I looked away from him, towards the window, trying my best to not look into his eyes. "I have Tine. I am the reason my mom died and I am the reason Phukong is in jail."

"OH COME ON! Not this again. Sarawat, your mother had an accident. You weren't home and that wasn't a mistake. It just happened — it was an accident. No one could have predicted"

"How—how did you know that?" I looked at him with shock.

"You told me the day you got drunk. Also, Phukong isn't in jail because of you. Phukong is in jail because his ex was a shitty person."

"That's not true—"

"Also, while we are on the subject, why were you so obsessed with finding Phukong's ex? So obsessed that you made lists of different Dim Thipat's across the country and travelled every weekend to track him down."

"I was not obsessed Tine. I needed to find him to help Phukong"

"No you didn't, Sarawat. You absolutely didn't." I could see Tine's furrowing brows and his frustration setting in.

"At first, I really thought your last lawyer ignored the ex in the case completely and Dim Thipat was crucial to the whole case. But the more case files I read, the more I realised, Dim is not crucial to the case. Of course it would have been nice if we had his testimony. Phukong wouldn't be in jail if his ex served as a witness. But we didn't need Dim to get Phukong out of jail."

"May be you are right Tine, but I needed to find him because I wanted to help Phukong anyway that I could."

"May be you wanted to help Phukong, but do you know what I think? I think you just wanted to punish yourself because Phukong was in jail and you felt it was all your fault.

So, you got an expensive lawyer way out of your budget, even though you didn't need to.

You took up night shifts to make more money.
Hell, you were even willing to share your bed with a stranger."

"But I — I found you because of that" I don't know why I suddenly blurted it out, but it finally made Tine smile and his frustration vanished.

Tine moved his hand across the table and cupped my cheek, taking me by surprise."You did, didn't you, and that's a good thing, right?"

Still feeling the warmth of Tine's hand on my face, I couldn't really speak. So I just nodded instead.

"So believe me when I say that you deserve good things in life Sarawat and its time you start fighting for them."

Tine removed his hand and looked down at the food. "Now that we have established you are a good person who deserves everything, shall we eat? The food is getting cold and I am really, really hungry."

"Yeah. Yeah." I smiled back at Tine and we digged into our food. And Tine told me all these stories of growing up and the current cases he was handling.