The Bedshare Agreement

Chapter 22: I am not a sin

Tine's POV
Standing in the afternoon sun outside the prison, I was leaning against my car, waiting for Sarawat to arrive.

All of the bail formalities for Phukong were already done. Now, I just needed the guard's final signatures on the papers to get out Phukong out — the guard who was out for his lunch break. I could, of course, sit in my car and switch on the AC, but my nervousness wouldn't let me just sit down. Sarawat was going to be here any minute, and I was way too nervous to see him after the weekend — after I left with Fong in front of his office.

When I wrote the note saying I would spend the weekend at Fong's place, I thought and I really hoped Sarawat would call me and ask me to come back. No, he didn't even have to ask me to come back. He just had to tell me he didn't like it when I stayed the whole weekend at my friend's house and I would have driven back home — But he didn't. Sarawat didn't call or even text me throughout the whole weekend. 

May be Phukong was wrong all along. May be Sarawat just didn't like me enough to fight for me, or may be he had no will left in him to fight for anything at all.  Honestly, I could live with Sarawat not liking me, but I didn't want Sarawat to give up on his life already and stop fighting for things that he wants — I wanted Sarawat to have everything he wished for in his life. I wanted him to be happy because he deserved the world.

I should have just gone home on Friday night instead of taking Phukong's stupid advice. I had the absolute worse weekend of my life. I could have been with Sarawat, waking up next to him, having lunch with him at the apartment, or may be going out for dinner with him. Instead, I was stuck with Fong and his two other roommates — All because I decided to take Phukong's stupid advice.

In hindsight, may be taking dating advice from a 20-year old whose last relationship ended with him going to jail wasn't the best choice.

But Phukong knows Sarawat more than anyone else in this world and I trusted his judgement, at least when it came to Sarawat. He was right when he said Sarawat needed to get out of his shell. Sarawat has sacrified way too much in his life, so much so that he doesn't even remember what it's like to be happy. All I want is to remind him that he deserves every good things too.

I know Sarawat likes me, at least a little. I realised it on the day I left him a note saying I was going to have dinner outside with a friend and I wouldn't eat his food. He called me up with so much obvious irritation in his voice, I knew he was jealous.

Of course, I was never going for dinner with any friend. It was Phukong's idea. Phukong claimed Sarawat liked me, but I didn't believe him. So, he asked me to write a note to Sarawat saying I was going to have dinner with an imaginary 'friend' and then watch Sarawat's reaction.

Going to dinner was never part of the plan though. Phukong had actually told me to ignore Sarawat for a few days and let him burn in jealousy. But Sarawat sounded so anxious and confused over the phone, I couldn't just ignore him.

Next thing I knew, I was at dinner with Sarawat, planning a two-day leave from the office to spend more time with him because I couldn't believe he actually liked me. I wanted all the time I could get with him.

I never even needed extra time for Phukong's reappeal. I just had some extra vacation days left and I wanted to make the most of it. Working on Phukong's case was the perfect excuse because there was no way Sarawat would say no to me.

The first morning Sarawat came back from work, I was up waiting for him to arrive, waiting to see if he would even share the bed with me. I knew he was holding back a little, but the moment I hugged him, he hugged me back and that was all the assurance I needed.