Silence

Chapter 8: Never Again...

-WARNING! This chapter has self-harm and includes topics that people may not like or be sensitive to. Please be advised to read this chapter-

Why? Why now? Why now, of all times?! Ah, come on, Adam. You know why, nos? It's because you realize you can't protect her. 

"No...Stop it," Adam said. I'm not wrong. You know I'm right. You failed to protect her three years ago, so why try now?

"I.." Adam falls to his knees, holding his hands on his head. You're just a burden, Adam. You're going to weigh everyone down. Stop trying and just give up, you fucking coward. 

"SHUT UP!!" Adam screamed as he punched the ground. "Ow!" Adam said. "Adam!?" His mom yells, coming up the stairs. 

"Adam, are you okay?! " his mom says from the other side of the door. "Yeah, mom! I'm fine, " Adam says, rubbing his hand. 

You're not okay. "Are you sure? You screamed just now, " his mom said. That's because I had to use the bathroom badly, but I'm okay, Mom. Really," Adam said. 

Heh... Excellent job lying to your mother...Fucking worthless kid. Adam gets up and unlocks the door. 

"Hey, mom." Adam smiles. His mom smiles at him, "Hi sweetie, Are you sure you're okay?" His mom asks. 

"I'm sure, Mom. I'm going to head to my room now," Adam says. Alright, well, if you want anything to eat, it'll be on the kitchen counter, okay? I love you, " his mom said. 

"I love you too, Mom."  Adam and his mom hug, and Adam walks towards his room. You know it's a damn shame that you can't tell anyone how you feel or what you're thinking. "Shut up.." Adam says. 

I'm not wrong, am I? "...no.." Adam said. Exactly. And do you know why I'm not wrong? 

"..because..I don't want to be a burden, and I don't want to put my problems onto other people..so I keep everything all inside..hoping it goes away, but it doesn't." Adam said. 

Adam puts his bag on the floor and lays on his bed. Good Adam. Now go to bed and think about how worthless you are and how not okay you are in the head. 

Adam slowly closes his eyes and tries to go to sleep. Hoping the voice will go away... 

That's right..Nighty night, Adam. I'll see you later tonight...

-LATER THAT NIGHT-

Aaaaadaaaaaaaam. Wake up, Adam...WAKE UP YOU WORTHLESS KID!! "HUH!?" Adam jolted up. 

"Oh..shit..what time.." Adam yawned. It's 1 in the morning, Adam. It's been quite a while since you did this, but..It's time. Adam stayed silent. 

He got out of his bed and walked towards his door. That's right...Keep walking. Down the stairs now. Adam walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen. 

Adam sees the food his mom left him. "Heh...How thoughtful. Thanks, Mom, " Adam says. 

Shut up, you fucking kid. Now grab it. Adam has a medium-sized kitchen knife. Adam stares at it for a good minute. Now, please do it. 

"I...I don't want to.." Adam said. Yes, you do. You know you want to. You've been waiting to do this to eliminate the pain, don't you, Adam? 

"I.." Adam said. 

You've been holding back all this emotion and keeping it inside for a long time, and you don't want people to know how you feel. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A FUCKING BURDEN TO EVERYONE YOU TALK TO YOU!

Adam held the knife to his wrist.

YES! DON'T RESIST ADAM! YOU MUST GET RID OF THE PAIN!! YOU COULDN'T FUCKING PROTECT THE ONE YOU CARE ABOUT THE MOST BACK IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!! YOU FUCKING USELESS HUMAN BEING!! DO IT ALREADY!! 

 "Do it already. No one wants you here anyway." Luke said. "You're just a waste of space," Brittany said. "I never liked you, Adam," Connie said. 

Adam hears everyone's voices in his head, doubting him and telling him things that he knows are true. 

"You're all right," Adam says, looking at the knife. With that final push, Adam uses the knife. "It still doesn't hurt," Adam says. 

How do you feel? "Worthless. I'm just a waste of space," Adam says. Yes! No one cares about you, not even Connie. 

Adam stays silent as the knife touches his skin over and over. Keep going... Everyone will be so happy and celebrate when you leave this world. 

Adam stops. What are you doing? Keep going! "No.. you're..you're wrong." Adam puts the knife back. 

WHAT?! NO ONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT YOU SO WHY STOP?! "Even if that's true..I...I still want to be the want for her. Even if what you say may be true. I don't give a damn! I ain't going to not up on her! EVEN IF SHE HATES ME WITH HER GUTS!" Adam yells. 

You little shit... "I won't give up..on her..even if everyone hates m,e but just won't say it...I'M NOT GIVING UP ON HER!! NEVER AGAIN!!" Adam yelled at the top of his lungs. 

"ADAM!!" His mom yelled. "Oh shit...Yes, Mom?" Adam said. "GO BACK TO BED RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN!" Mom yelled from her bed. 

"Ah...right," Adam said, walking back to his room. He entered, closed the door, and lay back down in his bed. 

  You goddamn worthless kid...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!! 

"Everything is wrong. There's a lot wrong with me. But even so...I will not give up. Even if what you said is true, that no one cares about me or that everyone wishes that I was not here anymore, I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm going to keep going too." Adam looks out his window and stares at the stars. 

Heh...I don't care what I say in my head. I don't care what anyone thinks...I don't care what people say. I will always be there for the person I care about the most. 

Good...I left my head...I hate that side of me! I'm never letting it come back! Even if I'm at my lowest...I will always get back up.

"Never again...I will always be there for you, Connie..No matter what.." Adam said as he slowly closed his eyes.