You're Not Allowed To Fall in Love With Me (COMPLETED)

Chapter 53

WARNING: This chapter contains a lot of feelings and exposition.

Virgil tapped his hands against the legs of his chair and checked his watch for the fifth time in a row.

"Virge, the time isn't going to miraculously jump to 3pm just because you keep checking your watch." Roman sighed. "I think that the easiest way to get out of this is if we just talk to each other and work stuff out."

"Well, we tried that and it didn't work." Virgil muttered. Roman laughed bitterly.

"When? Oh, you mean all the times I tried to apologise to you and you pushed me away? Yeah, why wouldn't that work?"

"That's just my point, Roman. We've tried this whole 'working out' thing already and it's not worked." Virgil said, putting emphasis on the last two words. "Why d'you think it'll work now?"

Roman shrugged. "Because there's no possible place for you to storm off to?" He tried. "Virge, we're locked in here and we can't get out until we at least talk."

"Well, we're talking now." Virgil shot back. Roman rolled his eyes.

"You know what I meant."

"What're we going to do?" Virgil asked patronizingly. "Take turns? Fricking circle time?"

Roman shrugged. "I wasn't the one who planned this and there aren't any instructions in the note apart from 'work it out' so I guess... maybe?"

"Roman, we aren't 6-year-olds anymore." Virgil looked down. "Feelings are a lot harder to talk about when you have more of them."

"Well... then I'll start." Roman said. Virgil looked up at him, something in his gaze Roman couldn't place. "And let's make a rule. You can't interrupt people and you can't storm off. Deal?" Roman held out his hand. Virgil sighed and laughed dryly.

"Just like circle time." He muttered before shaking Roman's hand. "Deal. Fine."

"So... I start?" Virgil nodded and Roman suddenly looked a lot more self-conscious. "Okay... I guess I should start with saying that I'm sorry. So, so damn sorry. And I know that 'sorry' isn't good enough, won't ever be good enough, but it's all I can really say about the problem at hand. I was an... idiot for agreeing to the bet and I was an idiot for not realising I had feelings for you early than I did." Roman looked at Virgil's face, which looked like the face of someone who was very surprised but trying to hide it. Roman laughed slightly. "Yep. I felt a lot of things during the whole course of the bet. Mostly guilt but also... something else." He said, losing face at the last minute. He laughed again, this sound sadder and more self-hating. "And now I'm not even brave enough to say what that something else was. God, I'm an idiot. As Remus would say, 'a dick with no dick'. I couldn't even apologise properly when you found out about the whole thing. And everything I've done since, I've done to try and get my mind off you and all the terrible things I put you through." Roman sighed. "I've said it probably a million times and I'll say it again. I'm so, so, so sorry, Virge. For everything." Roman half-shrugged and sat down.

"My turn now?" Virgil asked. Roman nodded.

"I guess so."

Luella checked the time on her phone. She'd been pacing around for the last 15 minutes and a slight stutter had crept into her voice.

"Lu, would you stop pacing? It's making me dizzy." Aaron muttered, dealing with his stress by snapping at Luella who glared at him.

"We-We-We-," Luella sighed and tried to get her mouth under control. "Well sorry." She said finally. "But I-I-I, shit, I'm nervous."

"So am I." Aaron growled, tossing the key Remy had given him from one hand to the other.

"Don't," Luella crossed over to her brother and snatched the key, "play with that. I-I-If we lose it, Roman and Virgil'll be locked in there for who knows how long."

"Well sorry." Aaron muttered, checking his watch.

"Don't bother. I-I-I already checked the time and we've got 30 minutes until we can check on them."

Aaron laughed dryly. "30 minutes of Hell."

Luella nodded in agreement and laughed slightly. "Why did I-I-I agree to this again?"

Aaron shrugged. "Because you're my sister?"

Virgil sighed. "Well, I should probably start by saying that your 'sorry's don't mean anything to me. And that's nothing to do with you." He said quickly. "I just... when people say sorry to me, they never mean it. Sorry means 'I feel really bad about this and I'll never do it again' but that's never the case when it comes to me. People will push me over or taunt me and then apologise and do the same thing the next week. And, eventually, sorry just became a word. Another meaningless word in the English dialect. It's tiering, you know." He looked at Roman. "Being bullied, I mean. You just waste so much damn energy on them and you can't help it! It's tiering and boring and one of the reasons I didn't want to trust you at first." Virgil laughed slightly and looked down. "Oh yeah, that and the fact that I've had a huge crush on you since you helped me in rounders."

"Really?" Roman asked disbelievingly. "But that was ages ago!"

Virgil shrugged. "Yeah, it was. And everything was going so well and then, what do I find out? That Roman Winston, a bright fucking star, has been leading me on. For 20 damn quid. Like I said before, 'I'm not worth much, am I?' Whatever. If you want me to forgive you, that's never going to happen. If you want me to trust you, that's going to take time and a lot of work on your part. If you want me to care for or about you... you won't need to do anything there. That's why all of this has hurt so much." Virgil looked up at Roman and his eyes were filled with pain and a sliver of hope. "Because I never stopped loving you."

Roman looked down, afraid suddenly. He took a breath. "I know that you're never going to forgive me." He said slowly. "But... I want to help you trust me again. I guess what I'm saying is give me another chance? Please?"

Virgil didn't say anything and Roman thought he was going to say no. "I'll try." He said eventually. Roman didn't dare smile, he didn't know why, but there was shear relief and joy in his eyes. Carefully, he sat next to Virgil and gently put his hand over Virgil's.

"Is this alright?" He asked. Virgil looked from their interlocked hands up to Roman's face and smiled slightly. At this moment, it was probably the most beautiful thing to Roman in the world.

"Yeah. This is fine."

I... I did it. I did it! I FINISHED THIS STORY! And damn, this was a long one. My next story, hopefully, won't be as long and angsty. It should be actually pretty light-hearted compared to this. Also, the thing with Luella getting a stutter when she's nervous is an actual thing that happens to me. I don't know why it happens but I thought I'd throw it in the story, just for fun.
Bye,
Queenie