Seblaine: Take Your Shot

Chapter 14

I was feeling rather poetic, so that's what's up with this chapter. This takes place the weekend before the episode, What The World Needs Now. This one's kinda emotional, but I hope you all like this chapter! 😊 Thanks for reading!

-satire_of_saturn

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Sebastian's POV

Sebastian groaned and rubbed his eyes. He'd been laying in bed with Blaine for hours, pretending to sleep while his boyfriend snored beside him. His thoughts and fears of another nightmare kept him awake. The night before was a bad one, he almost woke up Blaine. God, how could he be so messed up? Genevieve wasn't like this, she was good and kind. The beautiful light at the end of the tunnel you want to see. Sebastian knew he was the opposite.

Sebastian had demons, and they permanently stayed with him. They kept him up, gave him fear and insecurity. Somehow, they were all voiced by Anthony. The man who was supposed to love, and care for him, yet did the exact opposite.

What is worse, living with your worst fear, or being your worst fear? Though Sebastian wouldn't admit it to anyone, least of all Blaine, he knew that being your worst fear was worse. How did he know? He knew because he was the thing he dreaded. His dad might be a demon, but Sebastian knew he was the true monster. He knew what it was like to not love yourself, to spend every waking moment with a pain in your chest. Sebastian knew the sad truth- it's easy to hate a monster, but even easier to hate yourself.

Blaine's POV

Blaine woke up to Sebastian staring at a thick leather journal.

"Morning, Bas. What's that?"

"Good morning." Seb's voice was uneven. "My mom dropped this off the other day, it was Gen's. She kept a journal of her favorite poems and quotes. She liked memorizing them, and they happened to reappear when she was nervous."

"You haven't looked at it yet." Realized Blaine.

Seb looked at the little book. "No, I haven't. I've... been too scared. When... when she died, I didn't want to go through her things, so, uh, I didn't look at this."

Blaine smiled softly. "What if we looked at it together?" Sebastian gave a small nod, and put the journal between them on the bed. It was small, with cream pages and a leather cover. The journal was a couple inches longer than an I-Phone, and each page contained black, flowing cursive.

I'm going to make everything beautiful - that will be my life beautiful - Elsie de Wolfe

Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale - Hans Christian Anderson

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body. - C.S. Lewis

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are - Theodore Roosevelt

Hell is empty and all the devils are here - William Shakespeare

Blaine raised his eyebrows at the change in tone. Sebastian must've sensed it, because he said,"Her taste in poetry changed with her mood."

On my silent days I miss you a little louder - C.C. Aurel

Like starry nights, rain soaked afternoons, and Sunday mornings, you were gone too soon - Perry Poetry

This is how it starts. Memories grip you and then you're dancing with ghosts - Nadine Tomlinson

My darling, you hold so much sadness in your eyes, I can almost touch the scars of your soul, and cry - Alexandra Vasiliu