October 15, 2020

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This is the first time I've ever had a dream with a coherent plot that spanned a night and a day.

I had just gotten married. The guy I married had dark hair and eyes, and while he wasn't B, his personality reminded me a lot of him. He showed very little emotion and seemed reluctant/stubborn. He could also be blunt and hurtful in the things he said. I was constantly afraid that he didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about him.

His sex drive was also nowhere near as high as mine was. It was our wedding night, and we were going to have sex for the first time. We were staying at my parent's house for "the next couple days". I remember lying in bed together in our underwear in the dark. I had my arms wrapped around him and kept stroking the hollow of his back with my fingers. I wanted to explore his body slowly. He said something about wanting to skip this part. I said, "Please, I need it." I got embarrassed afterwards because I said it a bit louder than I thought and afraid someone in my family might overhear it and make assumptions. But we had sex, and I remember afterwards thinking that, even though I was a virgin and it was my first time, I still managed to have an orgasm because of how badly I had wanted him.

I woke up the next morning, he wasn't in bed. I got up and found him downstairs. I assume we had breakfast together. At some point after this, he made a comment like "You don't look that chubby/fat." He had apparently found out that I was more overweight than he expected after I took my clothes off. I didn't say anything, but it made me feel very self-conscious and embarrassed.

From there I don't remember much, but we had to go on all these errands together that day, at least three places in a very large mall. In one case an argument broke out between a customer and a store worker, and my husband, wanting to prove a dramatic point to the worker, deliberately fell backwards into a river that ran by the mall. I ran down to watch him and even jumped in the water myself in order to stay close. We were both able to get swept back to safety by the current. I was very worried and only thought of him and his safety, ignoring my own.

At some point we took a detour through an arcade. I was playing with some kind of helmet and forgot it was on my head when we walked out, so I had to go back in and return it. I remember asking my husband if he had bought it and he said no, you'll have to take it back, I don't want to get in trouble again. I left it inside the prize chute of one of those stuffed animal claw games, because I thought it would be funny if someone "won" the helmet that way.

Back in the car after all this, I sat with him in the backseat and started kissing him. He said we didn't have time for that, so I kissed his cheek and ran my hand suggestively between his legs (over his jeans) before pulling away. I constantly wanted him throughout all this and was thinking of things I could do to surprise him. Specifically I wanted to try giving him a blowjob, but I was afraid to say it out loud.

We went and bought acrylic paint from an art supply store, apparently for an older woman friend of his who was an artist. We dropped it off at her place, where I wandered around aimlessly, listening to the two of them chat. I felt sort of jealous towards her, because she had known him in some college class and they were talking about funny memories they had together, which I didn't share. I somehow got a glob of bright green acrylic paint on the right side of my upper lip. I went and looked in the mirror to clean it off. Some of it went between my lip and gums. It didn't taste like anything, but it felt weird and sort of made my lip go numb.

We finally went home to an empty house. I asked him how long it was gonna last, and he said we'd spend a couple days with my parents before we went back to college. That was the reason he agreed to marry me, because we were going to college shortly afterward. I think that meant we'd either be separated, or not have much time together, so it made me depressed and upset.

That's the last thing I remember before I woke up.

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