July 18,2019/July 19, 2019

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Yesterday I had a nightmare that I was being chased by a crazy old woman. I was standing in my cousin Chris' room and trying to hold the door closed while she was trying to get in. When I woke up the half of my body that was leaning against the door felt warm/pressured. It was pretty freaky.

This morning I had a dream that I met a guy I went to high school with at a dance class (I've never been to a dance class in my life). The guy's name is Alex and he was actually sort of an asshole to me in the few interactions I had with him. But in this dream, we apparently hit it off and started dating. The one part of the dream that stands out to me is how it ended. We were in an apartment of some kind and he was touching/groping me. At some point I backed away from him and told him I had a health condition that made it impossible for me to use birth control other than condoms (this is an actual problem for me, the pill severely altered my personality and moods when I was taking it for medical purposes, I can't imagine taking it regularly for its intended purpose, I would literally go insane). After I told him that, with the implication being that we wouldn't be able to have sex without a condom, he dumped me immediately and left me alone at the apartment. I was pretty depressed about it when I woke up, even though I don't like the guy at all in real life.

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