Hear Me (Fallen angel x angel reader)✅

Episode 42

(Y/n's pov)

It's been a few days, I've been avoiding EVERYONE. Gael stopped by a few times and gave me news that the council now has the goliath swords now. I'm not even sure if that's a good thing anymore considering they are godly weapons that can destroy anything. Even the gods themselves if one even dared.
I laid on my bed, pillow drenched in tears as I laid there continuously getting more and more frusterated about this situation. More then ever. I'm angry at myself. I just want to feel loved and with Sawyer, there's many things that can go wrong there. We could be caught and we both get the punishment together. But a thought rings deep in my head faintly.
'What if that's not a bad thing?' These are thoughts I've forbidden from my mind. I never want to have these thoughts, I only want to keep my loyalty to my people. But it's hard when I'm starting to fall In love with an enemy. But he's not an enemy, he's proven that he's an innocent man. These counter arguments are what breaks down my rational thinking.
I was breaking down silently. Til I felt a dip on the bed. I looked to see Sawyer was sitting on my bed, I sit up quickly and wiped my face of any dirty tears on my face. The tears stained my face like dirt. He looked at me sympathetically. Along with apologetically. He put his hand on my knee gently but i felt myself retreat slightly. "I'm sorry for what happened." He said softly and I sighed. "I'm sorry as well. I overreacted-" He immediately interrupted me. "You have every right to feel what you feel right now. I was moving too quick. I'm really sorry for that." Sawyer gently says, trying to calm nerves as best he could. We sat in silence for awhile. Soon he left me to my thoughts, shutting the door behind him giving me some time for myself. Then moments later the door opened again and I saw gael standing there. "Hey, can I talk with you?" He asked and came inside, I nodded and patted the spot on the bed next to me. He sat down and sighed softly.
"As we both expected...yano cheated on me." He said, fumbling with something in his hand. I looked at him sadly and put my arm around him.
"I understand why though..." Gael said and hung his head low but I shake my head. "No! If it wasn't working out, she should have communicated with you! Not to result to cheating!" I argued, Gael looked at me and weakly smiled. He was in pain so I hugged him comfortingly. Gael hugging me back tightly. I knew this feeling, the feeling of not being good enough. But fuck that, I want to make myself feel like I'm worth something.
"Yano isn't worth a dime. But your love is worth billions." I say to him smiling to him, he chuckled. "Thanks, you always know what to say." I pet his head gently, we stared at each other for a bit.
"Are you going to fight today?" He asked me curiously. I think for a moment, debating on whether or not I should. But it could take my mind off of things. I nodded my head. He grinned and left me to get ready.
I got ready and I went out to the battle field doing my part like I should be doing.
That day was spent fighting bravely and trauma of this war continues to pile in my mind. Yes we are brave soldiers but trauma is something that negatively effects out mental health. We only have each other to talk to when this is all going on.
The night I came home I was deep in thought. Resting in my bed as I stared at the ceiling with a weight on my heart. I had so much on my mind. The fact I had sex with Tobias made me sick to my stomach. After everything happened with me and him, I wanted nothing to do with him. I feel the weight on my heart that's longing for something. It feels like something is missing but I'm not sure what. The thought of sawyer pops in my mind.
"Thinking of me?" I hear someone ask as sawyer emerges from the dark and sits in a chair staring at me.
"Maybe." I say and sit up in my bed to look at him. Sawyer stared at me intently and a small sad smile sneaks on my lips as he scoots the chair closer to my side. "Do you still wanna kill me?" I punched his arm gently as we both laughed. "No, of course not." I say and stare at him for a long time. "Im scared." I say honestly. "Of?" "The fact that this is illegal here. I'm hiding you from my people. The fact that I'm also starting to-" I cut myself off and he looked at me worriedly. "If...if You want me to leav-" I cut him off by grabbing his hand as he had a shocked expression. "If you leave I will kill you." I say, joking a little bit and he softly chuckled and gripped my hand in his. "Anything for you." He said and kissed my hand with his soft lips. I blushed a dark shade of red and giggled softly. We sat together for awhile longer. I felt my heart racing when I'm around him. It feels like he's the one missing in my heart.
"Accept your feelings." A woman spoke in my head wisely. Sawyer looked up at me and then stood up.
"I'll leave you to your thoughts." He said and began to leave but I quickly stopped him.  "Wait!" He turned around raising a brow and I felt my rational thoughts abandon me. "Stay.." Sawyer smiled and walked over to me, the moon was out and I scooted over in my bed and he laid beside me. We slowly began to cuddle up to each other, my arm around him as his arms wrapped around me protectively. I fell asleep.
"Accept your feelings as truth to your next journey in life. Sawyer  is your gateway to your truth. He will guide you there. Accept him and I shall reveal the nature of my intentions."