Ondreaz Lopez: Six Months with You

Twinkling Eye

Forty-Fifth Chapter

It’s been five days since the surgery and I went home today. Everyone was so excited. Ondreaz was nervous because of all the restrictions. Thomas picked us up. Ondreaz had had Thomas bring him clothes and his personal items during the week. Thomas took our bags and Ondreaz lifted me up because no stairs although I don’t think it’s that serious. He brought me inside the house and everyone was at the door waiting for me. Ondreaz put me on the couch and we all hugged carefully. I was sitting on the couch catching up with the girls.
Mia: I’ve honestly just been so bored.
Luna: It was nice spending time with Ondreaz but I can’t wait until I get better. I need to hit the gym. Diary I know I’m not fat some people may even say I look thick. I’m more booty, breast and then I have a tummy. My arms and legs aren’t the problem just my stomach.
Kouvr: Why?
Luna: I don’t know I guess I just felt so uncomfortable before because I felt like I have a fat stomach with stretch marks on my thighs. It’s just not a very cute feeling.
Kouvr: I know how you feel but trust me a lot of it is from our own heads and insecurities.
Luna: It’s also so much from like comparing. I feel like I compare myself to so many social media people who are skinny and fit. It’s just like why can’t I look like that.
Mia: Yes like when I was younger I wished I had bigger boobs like the other girls. I would feel so insecure.
Luna: You can take them. We all laughed.
Kouvr: I definitely struggled with my body. Feeling like I wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough. I was honestly at a lot of low points in my life because of it. I’m going to start crying. She started tearing up. 
Kouvr: Especially coming into social media because so many people say mean things for no reason. Mia and I started tearing up as well.
Kouvr: It took me a long time to realize as long as you're happy and healthy you don’t have to change anything about yourself. Plus I need a chubby sister. I laughed and hugged her. We all wiped our tears.
Luna: I feel like I also feel bad sometimes because you know it’s just like Ondreaz loves me and I know that. Sometimes I wonder if he’s attracted to me. Then it just goes right back to am I good enough just period. I started crying a bit. 
Mia: Who told you that though? Who made up who is good enough or bad enough? This whole idea of the perfect female is non existent. No one is perfect. All I know is I am sitting with a sweet and adorable girl along with a sassy and strong one. I love you both and your bodies are amazing. We all hugged.
Luna: Talking to my fans you know a lot of them feel this way, it’s so sad.
Mia: It’s the f*cked up the world we live in is. If you’re skinny you're starving, fat you eat too much and if you have muscles you look like a man. The pressure on girls.
Luna: I think I just found my next video idea. Let’s talk to girls about them and let them know they aren’t alone. We all have insecurities and they are loved, worth it and still amazing in every way. 
Mia: That would be a great idea! We started going over things to talk about and the overall message we want to convey. We cried through the entire conversation talking about our deepest truths, insecurities and how we got over and still struggle with them. 

Then Tony, Ondreaz, Thomas, Alex, Nick and Michael came into the living room from whatever stupid thing they were doing. Ondreaz kissed my forehead and sat down next to me. Thomas sat next to Mia, Alex sat with Kouvr, Tony and Michael on different sides. Thomas looked sad at the sight of Mia’s face.
Thomas: What happened? Ondreaz looked at mine.
Ondreaz: What were you guys talking about?
Luna: No no guys it’s fine. We were just talking about some things. Things that I’m sure we’ll tell you guys about later.
Ondreaz: Okay. 
Kouvr: What were you guys talking about?
Alex: Nothing really. Just talking about life.
Tony: Can’t wait for the next two weeks to be over!
Luna: Sol says the governments are hiding from you all that this quarantine isn’t going to end any time soon.
Michael: Ugh sitting here I feel like a sixth wheel. Everyone laughed.
Nick: You mean seventh?
Michael: Okay I don’t need math. Thomas is the one who can’t count. You have 100 videos getting pushed out everyday. We laughed so hard. We talked for a while longer then Ondreaz and I went up to my but our room honestly.

Ondreaz was sitting on the bed with his legs up and my head was lying in his lap. 
Ondreaz: Babe what were you guys talking about?
Luna: It was nothing amor. I didn’t want to talk about it because it was embarrassing. Insecurities make me feel weird especially to Ondreaz. I know exactly what he’s going to say.
Ondreaz: Nothing made you cry? Dile me por favor.
Luna: Mira! You’re spanish is getting better.
Ondreaz: My accent still isn’t cute like yours. 
Luna: I don’t have an accent, I just pronounce everything properly. I teased.
Ondreaz: Baby, tell me what’s up. I sat up and folded my legs facing Ondreaz. I held his hands playing with them a bit.
Luna: Babe, I know you love me. I could never lie and say you don’t. I just don’t know if you find me attractive sometimes because I don’t even think I’m pretty sometimes. It’s just my insecurity.
Ondreaz: Aww baby but you know I know you’re absolutely beautiful right? 
Luna: But that doesn’t make it better. I wish that you could look at me and say you’re beautiful but you can’t. It’s in my head and it’s not always there just pushing a little right now.
Ondreaz: I get insecure too. For one I’m shorter than a lot of guys, Tony is the cuter brother, I have small lips. A bunch of stupid sh*t that probably doesn’t even matter.
Luna: Aww baby. Tony is the cuter brother but I thought that would be a good thing.
Ondreaz: Adding to list of insecurities girlfriend thinks my brother is the cuter brother. 
Luna: He is cute, he’s like a 12 year old sometimes. He's adorable but you’re very sexy. That’s what I love about you two. You’re two very different people. Tony is like a man but still has a lot of learning and growing up to do. You’re mature, a bit more quiet and you have this maturity that makes you so sexy to me. Beyond looks, you light up a room with awesome energy. You love making people happy and I’m happy to say you put the biggest smile on my face. And as for your lips. I kissed him.
Luna: I’m not complaining. He smiled at me with this special twinkle in his eye.
Luna: You see that. I want that! He looked at me with a confused expression.
Ondreaz: What do you mean? 
Luna: Growing up we were always raised to be independent. The only opinions that mattered were elders and siblings. Not cousins, friends or anything of the matter. This is a little off topic but that’s why being in love with you is so weird. Your words mean something to me. When you say I love you, it freaking tears my heart open. But that spark in your eye when I told you the truth about your insecurities. I don’t think I can ever have. It’s like because I say it, you believe it. I have to believe it for myself you know? He shook his head. 
Ondreaz: That will never stop me from telling you how beautiful you are to me in every single way. From your beautiful thick curly hair to your big brown eyes to your lips, body, the stretch marks on your thighs that are barely visible but you trace over sometimes without even thinking about it. Your personality is beautiful the way you light up a room and still own it.Your accent when you speak in spanish is so freaking beautiful. Tears welled up my eyes. Diary we both know I’ve never cried this much in my life. It was just that he said it and I believe it.
Luna: I believe you. I still need to find my own beauty and worth within myself but between us I’m beautiful. Ondreaz cupped my cheeks with his hands and I held onto his wrist as he wiped my tears away.
Luna: Te amo
Ondreaz: Te amo carina. I smiled and he kissed my forehead. He moves his hands onto me my thighs as we smiled at each other.
Ondreaz: We should order food you have pills to take.
Luna: I don't want to take pills ugh.
Ondreaz: Just because your my baby doesnt mean you get to act like a baby. He pecked my lips again.