Teenage Nightmare (Jalex)

Poison

(Song- I Will Hide Myself Away/I Will Follow- Cartel. Another song I find really fitting for Alex in this story, both parts. It's a long one, but it's so fitting.
The lyrics if anyone wants them, it's a fantastic song- https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/cartel/iwillhidemyselfawayiwillfollow.html)

(TW: Only slight panic attack.)

Thursday. It's getting worse.
Alex is no longer on any medication. 
The migraines kicked in about two hours after he was meant to take his pill.

Jack sat behind Alex as he hunched over the toilet, throwing up anything that his stomach had in him, which was mostly just water and the soup his mom had made him last night.
In between rounds of vomiting, he was crying over the pain of the migraine, the dizziness he was feeling and how badly it hurt and burned his throat to continuously throw up when there genuinely wasn't enough there. 
Jack rubbed his back, "Okay...Okay Lex...Get it out, you're okay..." He said softly, about ready to cry when Alex just gagged and wretched again with nothing but spit and bile coming out.
After a few minutes of nothing coming up, Alex fell backwards, Jack catching him.
He curled up against Jack and just sobbed. His head hurt so bad. His body hurt. Everything hurt. The room was constantly spinning, quite frankly he didn't know who the fuck he was anymore, where he was or how he got there, everything was just spinning in a blur. He felt like he could pass out at any moment. 
'What are you going to do now?' The angry one asked, 'We're here to play for real now, you can't lock us away anymore'
Alex tried to ignore it, he truly did. Everything else took precedent right now. Everything hurt so so bad.
'Don't take the new poison they give you...It'll hurt you...' The angry one taunted.
'No it won't. He already has to live with us, let him be able to shut us up if he needs it.' The polite one argued.
'NO. He deserves it. Die. Go kill yourself. That'll end the pain you're in.' The angry one spat back.
'Leave the kid alone. He's gonna take the poison anyway even if he doesn't take it willingly. They're gonna force him. He's batshit insane.' The usually quiet one said.

"Shut up..." Alex groaned, hands on his head, knees to his chest, head down. 
Jack rubbed Alex's back a little more, "Babe what's going on? He asked quietly, letting Alex ride it out when he didn't get a response.

'He's gonna leave eventually, you know. Even if you lock us away. Even if you stop seeing things all the time. You'll go crazy again. It's inevitable. You're meant to be insane. Locked in a padded cell where no one can see you and you can't see anyone.'

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Alex screamed out loud, letting out another whimper and a sob because of how badly it hurt his migraine.
"Come on, let me hold you." Jack said softly, pulling Alex against him.

Thursday went like that all day.
No hallucinations which was good, but Jack and Rian were there to help him, Rian bringing Alex back down to reality when Jack didn't quite know how to, and Jack being the comforting boyfriend to give hugs, kisses and snuggles while also watching Rian to learn his ways in case for whatever reason, Rian couldn't be around. He was usually around though, these day at least. Jack remembered when Rian would go take weekends to see his girlfriend, or go do stuff with his other friends. Rian just truly is a really good person overall, and the best friend Alex could possibly have.
Elise stayed with Isobel and Peter all day, naturally. Rian and Jack keeping Alex upstairs, getting him to go to sleep, or distracting him with music, everything they could think of, they did. At the end of the day, Jack and Rian decided they made a pretty damn good team. Rian slept in the guest room and Alex and Jack slept in Alex's bed.

Friday.
Psychiatrist time.
Alex's appointment was early, and he wasn't happy waking up. Nothing bad though, not yet.
Peter had to physically go into the office today, Alex wanted Jack to go with him to the psychiatrist's office to kind of show him how it goes, while Rian stayed home with Elise. Rian was actually perfectly happy to not go to the psychiatrist's office. It made him sad there.

After a long, long, two hour discussion about everything that's happened to Alex since he started to wean off of the Symbyax, Dr. Cook had his final recommendation.
"I'm going to start you on both Prozac and a drug called Zyprexa. Prozac is an antidepressant, and Zyprexa is an antipsychotic medication. There is of course risk of side effects to taking these medications like any other medication, but honestly Alex, based on everything we've tried to do over the past ten years, I think this combination is your best option. The side effects usually do mellow out on their own if you have any at all. They're all common, and very rarely do people get anything worse than the common effects." The doctor explained the possible side effects.

"I know that's a scary word, but it's not as bad as you're thinking it is. It's going to give you the similar effects of the Symbyax but long term, and it should help a little more than the Symbyax in the hope that it'll stop your hallucinations altogether, and help quiet what you hear in your head a little more." Dr. Cook explained.
Alex stared down at the ground. Antipsychotic on top of antidepressant. How was he supposed to feel about that?
He completely realized that it would help him, but it was scary nonetheless.
Antipsychotic. Psychotic.
He was truly psychotic.
"I want you to get this prescription filled today, and I want you to start taking these pills every morning and every night. Once in the morning, once in the evening. Preferably at the same time." Dr. Cook explained, then talked with Alex and Isobel a little more, while Jack just held Alex's hand or rubbed his back, there for moral support. He figured he'd need to get used to doing things like this anyway, so best that he learn.

The stop at the pharmacy wasn't bad because Isobel didn't make Alex go in. Instead, he stayed in the car and listened to music. Doing that was giving him something to focus on, rather than the splitting pain in his head from the migraine that hadn't left since yesterday and the feeling of carsickness even when the car wasn't moving. 
Still, no hallucinating. Alex had shut the voices out, the music helped that too. He could hear them bickering amongst themselves, like usual, over him. He tuned it out though, like a low volume radio.
Home was better.
Rian brought Elise into his room, so they were all sitting on Alex's bed with Elise in her little boppy pillow.
Alex's head was killing him, but he'd taken some ibuprofen and hoped the pain would stop. He was going to be a good parent today.
He felt like he hadn't been in three weeks now. Longer than that if you count when he first began having the bad breakdowns.
"Hi my love." He cooed at her, earning big smiles and little baby laughs, kicking her feet a little.
Jack smiled at Alex and Elise, just watching.
"She's been so awesome Alex, honestly you got lucky with her. She's a quiet baby, and she's so snuggly." Rian grinned, leaned down and pressed kisses all over Elise's chubby little cheeks, earning a loud squeal and more beautiful smiles for her uncle RiRi.

Alex cringed a little at the squeal, but he'd take that pain all day if it was from her.
"I love you so so so much El." Alex leaned down and pressed a kiss to her nose.
"I'm gonna get better for you baby, okay? I'm gonna get so much better, and you're going to grow up with the best daddy I can possibly be to you, and you have uncle RiRi and uncle Zacky even though he's off skateboarding right now, but hey maybe he'll teach you when you're bigger, and now...Now you have daddy's really nice boyfriend Jack." He smiled, knowing Elise didn't really get any of what he was saying, but it felt nice to say it.
Jack smiled, "Yep." He said a tiny bit awkwardly.
"She's not gonna bite." Rian laughed, "She doesn't have enough teeth to. She does have one poking out on the bottom though." He shrugged.
Jack laughed a little, "I know, I just don't really know how to interact with babies." He bit his lip and looked at Alex.
Alex smirked, picked Elise up and held her out to Jack, "Here, hold her." 
Jack's eyes widened a little, "Uhh...Are you sure?" He asked, a little scared and confused looking.
Alex rolled his eyes, "Just do it. Head elevated a little and just hold her. It's not hard." He shrugged.
"For you." Jack muttered, but took Elise anyway, and when he did it was magical.
He swore his heart beat a little faster. This little girl was in no way his, but she was Alex's, and she's the carbon copy of her dad looks wise. The way her big eyes that rivaled Alex's in how gorgeous they were stared up at him with a small look of confusion and uncertainty, because Jack certainly wasn't daddy or uncle RiRi, but she had seen Jack before. He'd interacted with her. She knew him enough, so she didn't freak out.
Jack smiled down at her, "Hi sweet girl. You're so pretty." He didn't even mean to use a baby voice, but there it was. It just naturally came to him.

Alex smiled and took a picture, "Look at you, holding a baby and she's not screaming." He teased a little, glad that for right now, he was okay. He planned on staying that way. It was the one thing that he was repeating to himself in his mind today. Keep it together.
Rian laughed, "I know, shocking. He's doing so good." 
Jack smiled, "Shut up, I'm not totally dumb. I'm just scared to like...Mess her up or something." He kept his eyes on Elise and smiled at her, his eyes lighting up when she eventually started smiling back at him.
Alex just shook his head, looking amused.
Rian on the other hand enjoyed picking on Jack.
"What could you do that would possibly mess her up? Throw her like a football? Because yeah, that would do it. Just don't be dumb and she'll be fine. How about Alex even lets you feed her?" He looked at Alex.
Alex grinned, taking any opportunity to keep seeing Jack hold his baby, "Yeah, when she's hungry you can feed her!" He rubbed his temples a little, squinting his eyes here and there, trying to just get rid of the migraine that was telling him to just give up, lay under the blankets in the dark and not exist until it went away. He wasn't going to though. Not today. Today was going to be a good day. It had to be.
Jack just looked nervous, "What if she like...Chokes?" He asked, looking worried.
Alex laughed a little at that one, trying to ignore how bad it hurt to do that, "She won't, but even if she does she'll just push the bottle out herself and cough until she's done choking and then you can feed her again." He shrugged his shoulders, then decided to lay down with his head where Elise's would be if she was back in her little Boppy pillow again.

Sure enough, despite Jack's best attempts to avoid feeding Elise he was forced into it anyway, and as soon as he started, he realized that it wasn't hard at all and he actually quiet enjoyed it. He thought the little grunts and noises Elise made when she drank her bottle were funny.
Rian smiled at the sight, happy that Alex was happy and happy that Jack was in this as much as he knew how to be and was willing to learn anything he didn't know.
"I'm gonna go get food and come back, anywhere specific you guys want?" Rian asked, looking from Jack to Alex.
Alex closed his eyes from where he continued to lay on his bed, "Panera would be nice." He mumbled, rubbing his temples again.
Rian nodded, "Cool. Jack?" 
Jack looked up, "Panera is fine." He smiled.
"Alright text me your orders. I'll be back in a little bit." He got up and headed out, feeling really happy that so far, Alex had made it all the way until 6 PM without anything other than that migraine and his usual voices, even unmedicated. He chalked that up to luck and the fact that Alex had spoken to his psychiatrist, which may have given Alex just a sliver of hope that he wouldn't be the way he had been the last three weeks forever. Maybe that news alone was keeping his best friend together. Either way, he was grateful for it.

Alex got Jack's order and texted that and his own to Rian.
Rian came back and they spent the rest of the evening eating and watching movies. Well, Rian and Jack watched movies. Alex took the time that Elise was sleeping to go to sleep himself. Beanie on his head pulled over his eyes, under the blanket that was pulled completely over his head. All you could see of Alex was a lump and a tiny bit of his hand that was poking out from under the covers.
Rian looked at Jack, "I'm nervous about Monday. Barring any complications, he's supposed to come back to school." He sighed a little. 
Jack nodded, "I know...We'll just have to make sure we watch him. I have all different classes than he does, but...I mean, I can be with him all during breaks and lunch." He looked down at the lump that was sleeping Alex.
Rian shrugged, "My schedule never got switched back, so I'm still in classes with him but it'll be nice to have you there at breaks and lunch. I don't know how he's gonna handle it. I mean, people took videos." He sounded angry at that last bit. He was angry. The fact that people would do that to someone clearly struggling pissed him off to no end. 
How could people be so cruel?

Jack put his hand on the bit of Alex's hand that was poking out, "We'll take care of him. Anyone tries to mess with him, we'll take care of it. It'll be as okay as it can be. I'm nervous though. You missed a lot of school, and I've been going everyday except for Wednesday, Thursday and today...So many people have been asking me what happened, where he is, if he's okay...Then of course I've heard the fucked up shit, and it's really taken me all I have to not punch anyone out Rian. I don't know how he's going to react." He rubbed the back of Alex's hand.
"We'll just have to figure it out as we go, I guess. Prepare to go all protection mode." Rian was a little sad sounding now. The fact that he always had to protect his best friend from people who didn't know how to just shut the hell up and mind their own business was beyond him.
"Well thankfully we have the weekend to see how he starts reacting to his new meds, I mean his doctor said they work pretty quick once they're taken. They do take a while to fully adjust, but when he takes them tomorrow they should work well enough to keep him calm and hopefully hallucination free, or at least mostly hallucination free. It's just side effects we really have to watch out for. I mean, he's unmedicated right now and he's been doing good today." Jack smiled.

Rian smiled back, "Yeah, he did great today. We'll just see how this weekend and Monday go. I do have to go home tomorrow though, my mom's gonna kill me if I don't come home at least once. She knows what's happening, but she knows you're here and if I'm needed, you'll call me. So that is okay right?" He looked at Jack, who just nodded.
"Yeah of course. My dad's a doctor so he's always on call and never home, my brother and sister are in college, and my mom just goes to work and comes home and doesn't give a shit what I do honestly. She's been worried that I'm here because of everything but I mean, she gets it. He needs me here more than she needs me there. Basically once I turned 16, she decided to not give a shit so much about what I do so long as I'm not being stupid. She knows this isn't stupid, so she doesn't mind." He smiled a little, he loved his mom. He couldn't wait for things to calm down so Alex could properly meet her.
Rian nodded, "Alright well I'm gonna go to bed, should I take her? I don't wanna wake him up with this migraine he has. She has been sleeping all night though lately, so..." He shrugged.
Jack shook his head, "Nah. Just leave her in here, if she gets up I'll try to take care of her or I'll just wake you up myself if Alex can't do it." 
Rian smiled, "Look at you getting all paternal. Goodniiiiight." He teased before getting up and going into the guest room.