Teenage Nightmare (Jalex)

You & I Are One Of A Kind

(Song- Time- Cute Is What We Aim For)

(TW- Talk of suicide/self harm. Nothing gory, just going over things that happened the past couple chapters)

(June 3rd)

"It hurts." Alex said through tears as his new, permanent casts were put on. His right fibula had indeed been broken in more than one place, but nothing requiring surgery, just a painful resetting, and his patella was fractured. Getting a cast above the knee sucked, it required some careful movement of the leg to get it wrapped around perfectly. 
"I know baby, I know." Isobel said softly, rubbing his back. 
Jack and Rian were at school. They couldn't avoid it anymore. They'd had their assignments sent home of course, and some instructors had been polite enough to send them zoom videos of what they'd covered in class. They'd been given special circumstances thanks to everything going on with Alex, but they did have to go back. Alex couldn't, and it didn't matter anyway. School was out for summer break in a few days, and they'd all be graduating by then anyway. Except because of Alex's circumstances, he'd have to go in twice a week during summer to complete his missing work and his exams that he'd be missing this week. 
The wrist cast wasn't nearly as bad as the leg. 
Alex wiped his eyes with his good hand and let out another quiet cry, the ortho giving him a sad look, "I know, we're almost done. I know it hurts, but look at how well the swelling has gone down, and it's just going to keep feeling better and better as it heals. We had it all re set perfectly, lucky because your break didn't have any splintering and your knee only got fractured, not broken. That's a good thing, Alex." She smiled. 
Alex sniffled, "Okay." 
Rian's mom had Elise right now at his house. Kathi was a real treat. 
Isobel had to go back to work tomorrow, so this was going to be fun to handle.
Kathi, who stayed home and didn't work, had agreed to go to Alex's house and hang out with him and Elise, helping him while everyone went to work and school. 
Getting this worked out had been hard. Alex would only allow Jack or Rian to help him get into the shower. He needed help washing himself. It was a little hard to squeeze shampoo and soap onto your hand when the other one was in a cast and covered in plastic to keep it from getting wet. It was even harder to bend down with one leg casted and also covered in plastic. He'd slipped a few times, nearly falling until Rian caught him. 
This was fucking embarrassing.

Next up was his therapy appointment.
Once they'd finished up getting his casts on, which he chose black as the color for, Isobel drove him to Dr. Cook's.

"How have you been feeling lately?" He asked.
Alex shrugged, "Not awful...I think something like, switched in my head...I realized a lot...Like how the hell I possibly got to the point that I did. I mean, I don't remember any of it, and I know that I was really stressed out and upset, but I hadn't been feeling awful...I mean I've been eating. I haven't really cut myself in a while, not a lot at least, and not deep or more than like, three. I really want to stop. I think I can, too. It's getting easier and easier to...Especially now that I saw the ones on my wrist," He glanced down at the one healing on his right wrist, it made him want to throw up. He was grateful that he was wearing shorts and the ones on his thighs were stitched and bandaged, and the one on his stomach was covered by his shirt. "I don't like it...I'm scared of it again...Look at what I did...I saw some blood on the carpet that they couldn't get out..." He teared up a little, "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to keep losing it. I don't even know why I did." He looked at his doctor, praying for some sort of answer.
Dr. Cook sighed a little, "I know you don't, and we're going to get you there. It makes me happy that you're not feeling awful. That's a good thing. I'm glad to hear that you're realizing that these behaviors aren't going to make you feel better, only worse. That's a good step, Alex. A really, really good step. I like the new attitude you're having. Do you think it's because you realized how close you actually got to not living anymore?" Dr. Cook was writing things down.
Alex nodded, "Yeah...I think that's exactly it...I'm scared though. What if I like, black out or whatever that was again?" He looked around the room, nervous to even be talking about this.
"Well, I'm thinking that stress got to you, and that we don't have you on the right dose. I think we're getting there though. I really, really, really need you to tell me anytime you feel off. Even if it's just having anxiety more than usual, or if you're feeling really stressed out, anything like that. We're going to get everything taken care of and talked about early on before we let it get to a point that you're so overworked like that. I think that a lot has been going on, and I think that you need to focus on yourself and your daughter, as much as you possibly can. Do more things that make you happy, even when you don't really feel like it. You have to give yourself a chance to find a happy place for yourself. Go on dates with Jack, take Elise to the park with your friends of course so they can help you, or even just hang out in your backyard. It's getting warmer and you know I always advocate for getting some fresh air and some sunlight. Being stuck inside all the time isn't going to help you much either, so make sure you talk to your friends and Jack about getting out a little bit. I know that's a little hard for you but they gave you that wheelchair, you can use that." He asked, writing their plan down, making sure he kept perfect track of Alex's doses. He'd upped the antipsychotic the most. He upped the antidepressant too, but the antipsychotic one was the one he felt needed to be a lot stronger than it was.
Alex blushed. He hated the wheelchair. He hated the crutch too, but that was less embarrassing than being pushed around.
"Yeah..." He glared at the chair he was sitting in.
"Okay, so can you try that? Getting out a little more the best that you can and doing things that you like? It's a little hard for you to play your guitar but you can sing, or you can play it if someone else helps you with the frets and what not." Dr. Cook shrugged a little, thinking of things that he knew Alex liked.
Alex smiled a little, "That would be cute if Jack helped me." He thought about that idea a lot. Going outside in the backyard or something to do that.
Dr. Cook smiled back, "Good. Okay, so we're making progress." 

They talked a little more about things that they could do to make sure Alex wasn't getting back to that place again before ending the appointment.
"I'll see you Friday, okay? Remember, please call me if you have any bad feelings. Jack and Rian have my number too, so if you don't notice anything off and they do, they can let me know. We have to get this under control." Dr. Cook helped push Alex back out to the waiting room with Isobel. Alex hated this so much.

Isobel got him home, and she and Kathi got him to the couch safely. They weren't even going to try getting him up the stairs. That was Jack and Rian's job, Peter's too when he was home.
Kathi put Elise on Alex's stomach. She sat up and grinned at her dad, patting his chest with her hands.
"Hi baby." He smiled at her, his good hand on her leg so she wouldn't fall.
Elise cooed at him, making sweet little baby noises. It was hard to believe that she'd be 8 months on the 27th. She was crawling a bit better, and Alex hated how much he'd been missing. That was exactly what he wanted to avoid, and yet he managed to fuck it all up. He felt like a shitty, absent parent despite the fact that he was there with her every single day. Mostly. 
"She's such an angel Alex. Look how much she looks just like you." Kathi smiled, sitting on the armchair.
Alex smiled, "I think she does too. She's a really good baby. She doesn't cry much at all. It's pretty cool." He said happily, laughing when Elise hit him on the cheeks, "Hey! No hitting" He pouted, which made her crack up.
Kathi laughed, "She doesn't. It's pretty great. She did a little earlier though, I think she's teething. I didn't want to put my fingers in her mouth to feel though." She thought that was a parent's or grandparent's job.
Alex reached up and put his finger in Elise's mouth, running it over her top and bottom gums. She screamed at him pretty angrily.
Alex smirked and took his finger out, "Yup. Look at you getting more teeth big girl. Sorry I pissed you off." He chuckled a little.

"Okay, so are you guys good here? I'm going to head home and take care of some things around my house. I'll be back tomorrow in the morning to help. Is Jack or Rian spending the night tonight?" She asked.
Alex shrugged, "I think just Jack. His mom's been a lot more careful with that...I feel bad, since she's his parent...But you know...When your boyfriend literally flies off the deep end..." He muttered. He was comfortable talking to Kathi about this. She'd known him forever.
"I think Zack is coming over though." 
Kathi smiled, "Good, he's gonna be a big help." She laughed a little. She bent down to kiss his cheek, then Elise's and grabbed her things. She walked over to Isobel who was in the kitchen preparing dinner. She gave her a hug and let herself out.
Alex sighed and looked at Elise with a smile on his face, "I'm gonna get all better baby. I know I've said that before, but I mean it. I promise I am. I'm so glad you didn't see me all banged up. But see?" He held up his cast. Elise touched it and Alex was thankful that she didn't hit it. He was still hurting from it being put on, "This is a biiiiig band aid to help my booboos get all better."
Elise grinned at him, drool dribbling down her chin. She let out an excited scream and bounced on his chest, looking around at everything.
Alex laughed, "I love you." 

Isobel had taken her a little later to get her down for her second nap of the day and went back to getting dinner ready. It was 4 now, so Alex was waiting for Jack to come. He got his phone out and texted Zack.

Alex: Hey you coming today? Jack's on his way right now I think.

Zack: Yeah I have a few things to finish up at home, then I'm gonna go hang out with Travis and Ben, but I'll be there around 7. Is that okay? You need help with anything?

Alex: I don't know. I kind of want to shower, but I kind of don't. Almost falling last time scared me.

Zack: I can help you. Is Jack gonna shower with you? Because if so, I'm gonna need to close my eyes really tight and pretend that I'm not there.

Alex: Ha ha ha. Yeah he probably will. He's the one who gets my shampoo and soap. So. Rian did too once, but he didn't shower with me obviously. He just like reached in to washed my hair for me and helped wash me. Which was awkward. I like it better when Jack does all that. So I mean...Just be there in case I slip again?

Zack: I can do that. As long as I don't have to see anything I'm all good.

Alex: You don't have to see a single thing. Jack can do most of the work. You just need to be there as reinforcement. Just like do what Rian does and sit on the edge of the tub or the floor next to it. Jack can help me do the rest. Sorry this is happening.

Zack: Honestly dude, after what happened, I'd take anything other than that. 

Alex: I know...I'm sorry.

Zack: Don't be sorry. Just be careful okay? I love you so be careful.

Alex: Doing my best.

Zack: Good, I'll be there around 7.

Alex looked up when Jack let himself in, "Hi" He smiled.
Jack smiled back, "Hey. How'd it go today?" He sat down on the floor in front of the couch, facing Alex.
"It hurt really bad getting the leg one on. The wrist wasn't so bad, and I hate using this stupid fucking wheelchair, and Zack is gonna come help so I can shower because I feel gross and I need to shower, but I'm gonna need you in there with me because obviously he doesn't particularly want to clean me." He shrugged.
Jack laughed, "Fair enough. I never mind showering with you." 
Alex smirked, "I know."
Isobel sighed audibly, "Flirt with each other where I can't hear it boys." She laughed a little though.
"Sorry momma." Alex laughed and looked at Jack who looked genuinely happy.
"I'm happy you're smiling so much. How'd it go with therapy?" He reached up and ran his fingers through Alex's hair, leaned up a little and kissed his lips.
Alex blushed a little, his stomach getting butterflies.
"It was good. We're figuring things out. He wants me to go out, like do dates with you and hang out outside with you, Rian, Elise, Zack, all that. So you're gonna have to push me around, but I mean, it doesn't hurt to try. I think he's right that me being stuck in my room all day isn't going to help anything." He sighed a little, looking up at the ceiling.
"We can do that. Tomorrow though, or this weekend when you're a little more used to that big cast." Jack gently ran his fingers over Alex's casts. The one he hated the most was Alex's nearly stick straight leg cast that went past his knee. He felt bad. That was a rough one.

Alex stayed on the couch apart from Jack having to help him with his stupid crutch to get to the bathroom. He ate dinner sitting there, watched a movie with Jack and played with Elise some more before Isobel took her up to bed.