Teenage Nightmare (Jalex)

Tell A Little Truth

(Song - Little Bit Of Truth - You Me At Six)

(TW: talk of child molestation) 

(November 27th)

Alex: Jack...Where are you?

Alex: Come back please, I'm sorry

Alex: Please don't ignore me!

Alex: Jack...Please...Fuck

Alex: Babe where are you??? Are you at least safe????

Alex: Oh my god...Oh my god...Jack please.

Alex: Jack I'm gonna freak out! Where are you????

Alex: Fine, I'll leave you alone. Hate me if that's what you need, but please let me know you're safe at least!

Jack: I'm fine Alex. I need to be the one alone now. Stop messaging me please.

Alex: Okay...I love you...

Alex didn't get a response. Of course Jack loved him too, but he was taking a long needed mental break. 
He sat back in his car, which he'd parked outside of his house. He wasn't ready to go in, but he did anyway.
The second he walked in, he was met by his mother.
"Jack...Come sit, can we have a talk?" She asked, her voice gentle.
Jack sighed, "Sure." How could this day get any worse right? He sat down next to her.
"I think you and Alex need to spend some time apart..." She said quietly, nervous for his reaction.
He scoffed. That was ironic. 
"Jack?" She asked when he didn't respond.
"Not gonna happen mom." Jack mumbled. He almost wished it would happen though. Almost. Almost wasn't enough, though. He'd rather get hit by a train than be away from Alex. His stomach was churning and his chest ached every minute he was away, no matter how angry he was.
"This isn't healthy Jack...You two never spend any time apart. I know you're scared of him hurting himself again, but you need to be able to get your own feelings out too...I watched you with him when he was having his panic attack, and you're so good with him. I can only imagine what you do when it's worse. I mean it's to the point that I don't think you know what to do if you're alone." She was speaking quietly.
Jack glared, "I know that. None of this is healthy. None of this has ever been healthy, but I don't want it to change. He's in therapy. He's eating again. He's not cutting anymore. He's taking medications compliantly and they're helping him so much. The panic attack you saw? That's nothing to how they've been before. Plus, think about it mom. I don't have any friends. I have Rian and Zack, and they were his friends first. Believe me, I get what you're saying, I do. That's why I'm here right now. You're not going to stop me from going back though." He was firm with his tone.

Joyce shook her head, "Jack..." She started, only to be cut off.
"Don't say it mom. I'm not leaving. I'm going to be 18 soon, and when I am, you won't be able to stop me either. So please don't try to now. He'll be 18 next month. I'll be 18 not long after, just 6 simple months. So I'm telling you, good luck. Please don't even try to stop it. If it makes you feel better, I'll try to just hang out with Rian or Zack one on one, but if you think for one second that I'll leave him, you're so beyond wrong." Jack was fierce in his tone. It almost worried Joyce a little, but on that same notion, wouldn't she do the same if it was her husband? She knew that she would, and she nearly did when he was basically having mental breakdowns during med school. Still, Alex's mental state versus her husband's were two vastly different things.

"I just want you to spend some time apart here and there, come home and sleep here...You have to be able to be apart. What's going to happen when you're away from each other? And I'm not talking about your shifts at work either. You go to work where you can't get any emotion out, and then you go right back to Alex to care about him. Who cares about you, Jack? Does he? Does he ask how you're feeling? Does he make you feel better?" She didn't want to hurt him by asking, but she had to.
Jack got mad now, "You think he doesn't do any of that? Of course he does. When I let it show. It's me hiding from him. It's me holding back for his sake. I don't think he even wants me to, but do you realize that you took me away when I begged you not to, and because of it, I almost lost him? And it wasn't even his fault! He has no idea what even happened! I can't be the one that does that to him again mom! If I need to leave for whatever reason, fine, but he and I are gonna have a damn good, long, safe talk about it first. I won't ever leave him like that again. I feel like shit for walking out on him just now, mom. Of course he makes me feel better. Of course he asks how I'm feeling. Of course he cares about me. I just don't let him! I know that you're partially right, okay? It's not going to stop me from going back to his house tonight and sleeping with him. I know that you probably think it's just me caring for him and sex and nothing reciprocated, but you don't know Alex at all. You don't know a thing about him. So please don't try it. Don't even think it. He knows everything about me. He knows. I told him. Do you understand why the fuck I need him too? I need him mom. I need him." He stood up and went up to his room. 

Jack paced his room for a bit and sat down on his bed. He knew that he needed to be able to gain some separation here and there. He knew that was something they'd have to work on. To get him to sleep here without Alex? Not going to happen. He knew he was too attached. He was well aware of that. It wasn't just for Alex though. No one realized that. No one stopped and thought of why he was so attached to him. Alex knew. Alex felt selfish every time he needed something but couldn't give much back to Jack. He made it that way though. Jack didn't need anything in return.

*Flashback*

"Please stop... I want my mommy" Jack begged, curled up on the ground, back against the wall, sobbing. 
"Why should I?" The tall, dark haired man smirked as he held Jack there with his foot.
Jack was six years old. He'd walked away from his dad in the store, and before he knew it, he was pulled behind the store. He saw the man walking around the aisles, but he thought nothing of it. After all, it was a store, this guy was shopping. That's all.
Jack never noticed that he only had two items in his basket. Jack never noticed that this man kept smiling at him.
His dad had asked him to back to their previous aisle just to get a box of pasta that he'd forgotten to grab. 
Jack was the one who got grabbed. Quietly, sneakily, this man dragged him outside.
"I just want my mommy" Little Jack sobbed, trying to keep himself curled in on himself.
The man made his intentions quick.
He touched himself to the sight of Jack cowering at his feet. He knelt down next to Jack and touched his little body while he got himself off. Jack shook and cried, what was he supposed to do? He'd never even heard of this happening. He was so innocent and little. 
Then it ended. The man wiped Jack down with a clorox wipe. He'd wiped his hands. He had released himself into the clorox wipe too, there would be no trace of him. 
If there was, it was minuscule. Not enough.

Police found him there. He hadn't moved. He was terrified to even consider moving. What if the bad man came back?

*End flashback*

Jack bit his lip as he sat on his bed, thinking of that horrible memory. He spent years in therapy because of it. He was so little though, that while it was incredibly hard to help him understand and cope with the trauma that was left, he was also young enough to absorb new ideas, new thoughts, new coping mechanisms, and he did. He'd always been an optimistic, happy child and that was another thing that helped him get through this.
Of course it got him. Of course he was scared when he saw a sketchy person in a store, he watched out for the kids always. Kids and women. His focus was always on them when he shopped, or while he worked. The store didn't have cameras back when he was six years old, but even the cameras that were installed now didn't always pick up everything. 
Alex knew that.
It had come up. Maybe not so detailed though. 
Maybe he'd have to give Alex the full story. 
It was something he'd probably need to get off his chest in full. 
Alex knew he'd gone through that sort of trauma as a kid, he knew he went to therapy, but he didn't know about each and every session, or the fear he still had to this day. He didn't know that during elementary school, word got out somehow about it, likely through his sixth grade friend who he'd trusted with this information. This carried into middle school with him. Not a lot of people wanted to be around him. He never told Alex that part.
He hadn't explained why he only had people at school that he talked to? Never any actual friends to hang out with.
Alex didn't know that. 
Alex needed to know that. 

Jack got his phone out.

Jack: When I come back I need to talk to you.

Alex: Okay...When are you coming back?

Jack: I don't know. Soon. Just...Give me some time okay? Are you being safe?

Alex: I'm just watching Elise.

Jack: Prove it...I'm nervous.

Alex: Elise is hiding under the dinner table, but here.