Star Wars Shorts- Clone Wars

Wrecker V Hardcase Battleship

In a universe where Wrecker and Hardcase met...

Fives looked at the cupcakes with pride. Half were blue ships and the other half were red. Dogma laughed at them.

"I bet even Hardcase can make better cupcakes, Fives," Dogma laughed.

"Shut up Dogma I am not eating them."

"Then what ar-"

"Fives did you finish the game yet? OOOH I LIKE THE BATTALIONS!" Hardcase said in awe.

"Fives you want to ref?" Wrecker asked.

"Sure I will get the table ready," Fives said while cleaning the kitchen.

Dogma left the kitchen, and Wrecker and Hardcase sat at opposite sides of the table.

"Ok, so we get to smash anything?" Wrecker asked.

"It's Cupcake Battleship. Yes, when Hardcase sinks your ship then you get to smash and eat the cupcake," Fives explained.

"I love Cupcake battleship," Hardcase said.

"Better than Cookie Checkers? Or Candy Chess?" Fives questioned him.

"I like them all, Fives," Hardcase said.

"Ok, so don't look over the barrier of your opponent. Whoever wins gets to smash and eat Tup's birthday cake," Fives added.

"It's My Little Pony themed Tup should grow up," Wrecker said.

"Ok guys, organize your battalion! You know the strategies well enough!"

Wrecker and Hardcase started organizing their cakes, and Fives watched.

"Ok, you all ready?" Fives asked.

"YEAH I WANT TO BLOW THIS UP!" Wrecker shouted.

"Mmm sure," Hardcase said.

"Who wants to go first?"

"Umm, Wrecker can go first."

"Ok, now pick a coordinate, Wrecker."

"Um, A5?"

"Nothing."

"Your turn, Hardcase."

"C7."

Wrecker stood up, and punched the table, bombing a cupcake.

"You sunk my Battle Droid Transport."

"Better that then a Republic Gunship."

"Definitely."

"Ok, Wrecker, your turn!"

"Um, A1. Everyone chooses that."

"Just you, Wrecker, just you."

"Hardcase?"

"A1, I guess. Wrecker told me himself."

Wrecker punched another cupcake, red icing going everywhere. He walked to the fridge and got Tup's cake and threw it on the ground. Then, he walked and punched all the cupcakes, getting icing everywhere. Oh, and the last cupcake broke the table. Rex ran in the Kitchen and nearly fainted.

"Um, what is this? You know, Dogma made Tup's cake, you are dead," Rex stated calmly.

"What did I do," Wrecker said in awe.

"I THOUGHT KIX MADE THE CAKE-"

"No it was Dogma. Have fun. I will get him right now-"

"Please, Captain, I don't wanna die."

"Oh, you won't die once. You will die twice. Tup will kill you too."

"Ughhh what do I do, Fives?"

"Fix the table?"

"No about the cake that I smashed."

"Um, go to Spacemart and buy a new one. They sell Barbie themed ones there. Tup loves Barbie too."

"He also likes Jojo Siwa. Did you know he has a stash of big bows to wear in his bunker? You would never guess."

"Fives, what were you doing in Tup's area?"

"Umm, nothing, sir, just scanning the premises for a possible prank war-"

Fives ran away, leaving the others behind.

"Well, he better make another legion of cupcakes. I'm hungry."

"So you are saying that you smashed all these cakes and didn't eat them?"

"Yes sir."

"You better clean this up, boys."

"Yes sir!"

"AND CT-5555 GET YOUR BUTT BACK IN THE KITCHEN!"

Instead of Fives returning, Kix came.

"Sir, Fives, Tup, and Dogma are fighting over a My Little Pony Cake? That show is for cadets."

"Tup loves cadet shows, Kix. Tell them that Wrecker smashed the cake also."

"Yes sir! Wait what?!"

"Go, Kix."

And so the Battle of Cake was the weirdest battle of the Clone Wars. At least to the 501st. Cupcake Battleship sure sounds fun, I now want to try it myself. It would just be very messy. And I don't want to break a table.

EMOJI OF THE DAY: ♠️