Never Is Our Always

Back To The Order 5

(Continued from last chapter)

(Minnie pov)

"Are you all right, Harry, dear?" Mrs. Weasley whispers, leaning across Ginny to speak to him as the train rattled along through its dark tunnel. "You don't look very well. Are you feeling sick?"

We were all watching him. He shook his head violently and stared up at an advertisement for home insurance.

'Did they all not trust me anymore? Was I to flee the house and sleep on the street again?'

My teeth scraped my bottom lip into my mouth as I fiddled with my ring, more dark thoughts crept into my mind.

'Did Fred and George trust me? Did any of the Weasley's except for Ames weasley trust me... I mean, who would really trust a Death Eater? No one.'

"Love?" I glanced at Fred, his hand rubbed my knee comfortably, "are you all right?"

"Hmm?" I face him for a moment, then went back to where my eyes were zoning out. "Yes."

"Okay," he smiles, drumming his hands softly against my knee and thigh while he listened to his music.

'Maybe he will break up with you, knowing you can't be trusted anymore. If Tonks was reluctant to trust you in there... why should any of them?'

"Alice?" I jump out of my thoughts and smile, "are you all right, Alice dear?" Mrs Weasley said, smiling.

"Oh, yeah... yeah..." I reply, "brilliant."

"You look ill, my dear," she frowns, "still not feeling well?"

"Oh, no... I'm fine now, I had something to mellow it all out," she nods, then eyes Harry with a small frown. She was clearly worried for the poor kid.

-

"Harry, dear, are you sure you're all right?" Mrs. Weasley said in a worried voice, as we walked around the unkempt patch of grass in the middle of Grimmauld Place. "You look ever so pale... are you sure you slept this morning? You go upstairs to bed right now and you can have a couple of hours of sleep before dinner, all right?"

He nodded, then left for the upstairs, "Alice, dear, you too."

My mind has been clouded the entire way home, I just nod slowly as I trudged myself up the stairs and lazily forced my body down the hallway.

-

I locked the door behind me and started pacing.

Thinking was the worst for, they defended me, sure, but what if they secretly know I was listening? We're they pretending to trust me?

Well, if I had to do it, I thought, there was no point hanging around. Trying with all my might not to think how the Weasley's were going to react when I've suddenly gone missing, I strode over to my trunk, slammed the lid shut and locked it.

I then seized one end of my trunk and had dragged it halfway towards the door when a snide voice said in my head, "running away? Really?"

"I don't want to make them feel like they can't trust me," I whispered to myself, "I have to leave."

'What about Fred?'

"Fred..." I sunk down on to my trunk and cover my face. "Shit, I can't leave him... he'd be heart broken, I don't want him to be sad."

'But you're a Death Eater, he wouldn't care if you disappeared.'

I slowly stood up, confused with my mind.

'He's in love with you, don't go!'

"I'm not going..." I sighed.

I got up and dragged my trunk back to the foot of my bed, then threw myself face down on the moth-eaten covers, my eyes shut, my body heavy and aching.