"Tell them I was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold."
-Rupi KaurI sat back and watched the flames die down. Who knew that watching something burn would be so beautiful? How did I end up back down this road again? I thought everything was going to be different and that I wouldn't have to do shit like this anymore.
I was big on loyalty so how could anybody want to betray me? Go against me? I would give anybody the shirt off of my back if they needed it. This shit was really crazy. I knew before that I couldn't trust anyone but now, I don't think I want to give anybody the satisfaction of knowing my name.
Scratching my head I turned around and walked towards my car. I didn't want to be in this position again. I took 2 steps forward and got pushed all the way back.
Before getting in the car, I turned back to look at the burning house one last time. This shit was a sight to see. If nobody understood when I killed people almost a year ago, that I was not to be fucked with, I hope they understood now. I was done playing nice.
But then again, I want to be better for my daughter. I don't want her to have to witness anything that I had to witness when I was growing up . Even though my father tried his hardest to keep me from it. I wanted her to be able to live her life with no worries of when somebody was coming after her mother.
I should know better than that though. Life doesn't always go how you want it too and that's something that you just have to understand. No matter how many times I wish shit was different, how could it be?
✨✨✨
I watched as Yani walked over to Jah who was laying on the floor. She has gotten so big and I couldn't believe that I really pushed her out just 9 months ago. She was so beautiful and she always brightened up my day. She clinged to Jahvon though. She was most definitely a daddy's girl. He spoiled her crazy, anything she touched, he got for her.
The love he showed my daughter from day one was something that makes my heart melt. I wouldn't take the bond that they both shared away from them for nothing. I loved it.
Jah sat up and tickled her stomach. Hearing her laughter made both of us smile. He looked over at me and smirked and I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. I loved this man through our ups and downs and nothing could change that.
The first few months after I had Kalyani was tricky because Jah wanted to see her as much as he could. We argued, a lot. I was scared to be away from her for too long and that was the base of majority of our arguments. We ended up making it work though.
He ended up moving back to Charlotte 2 months ago and decided to let one of his close friends run his operation out in New York. He came back from up there last night from checking to see if everything was running smoothly. Which it was.
People up there respected and feared him. I understood the respect part but I didn't understand why they feared him, he wasn't scary. Or I just thought he wasn't.
✨✨✨
I left Jah and Yani upstairs so he could put her to sleep and walked downstairs to my mothers room. Things were different around here, besides this wocky shit. Everything was good. We all were in a good place.
She was laying across her bed watching some movie. She was glowing and I was loving every moment of it. She deserved it honestly.
"Why you looking at me like that?" She asked me while sitting up.
I shrugged. "I was just looking."
She squinted her eyes and then rubbed her temple.
"What's on your mind?"
"The shit from today. I thought I'd be done with it. Moving forward not going backwards." I replied, sitting down in the edge of her bed.
"Nothing ever changes Sha. You know that better than anybody else. You did what you had to do. We don't tolerate disrespect."
I nodded my head and sighed. "I know but damn I wish shit was different."
"Look at it this way; this is the first thing that's happened since you killed Tank. Maybe it'll be the last." She said.
"I hope so. Where'd he go?"
"To go talk to King. Handling business I guess."
"You miss him." I said smirking at her.
She playfully rolled her eyes. "Why wouldn't I?"
I shrugged. I was happy for the both of them. I guess this is where her glow was coming from because she's been happy as hell.
✨✨✨
It was going on 10 O'clock when the front door opened. I was sitting on the couch next to Jah watching Halloween. I could literally watch all of them, except 3, any time of the year. It was literally my favorite horror movie of all time.
"Where's your mom?" He asked after closing and locking the door.
"In the room. How's King?" I asked.
"He's doing good. His therapy sessions have been going good and I've seen real improvement."
"That's wassup. I was worried that he wouldn't walk again." Jah said.
I laughed. "That was never an option."
He nodded his head. "Yeah quitting is not in his blood."
I turned my attention back to movie. It was at the part where Lynda was getting chocked with the phone cord. I heard Yani crying from upstairs. I got up slowly and started walking towards the stairs.
"Tend to my granddaughter. I don't like hearing her cry."
I rolled my eyes. I don't like hearing her cry's either.
"Heard you dad." I said while ascending the stairs, humming quietly to myself.
Time to get my baby.
Akashaa Zenn
YOU ARE READING
The Way It Is (Way Too Deep Sequel)
General FictionHow could I ever think that shit was going to change for me? If it isn't one thing, it's another. I think I just have to accept the fact that this is apart of my life and there's nothing I can do to change that. -Akashaa