The Fifth Guardian

Chapter 29

RAYNAR'S POV

"Mother it's okay! I can make you happy" I said to my crying mother. My father just came into her chambers, and I could hear that they were arguing. I went in after my father left to try and comfort my mother, I ran to her and embraced her, but she didn't return my embrace. I looked up, my small arms couldn't reach her face. Her eyes met mine and pushed me off her, I was confused why my mother would do this. She was angry again, she always seemed to be angry all the time. The maids used to say when I was born, she was happy but once I grew up, her health deteriorated.

"It's all your fault!" she screamed and threw a nearby vase, it barely missed me. I felt the shards of my arm. I cried, as I felt the pain and looking at my mother who had these crazed eyes, anger consuming her slowly. Both her hands were on her head, pulling her hair and she was screaming. That everything was my fault, that I should die. She stood up and got a whip from under her bed, I pushed myself into the corner of her room to try and escape from her.

"You need to suffer my child, you want me to be happy right?" she said, and I walked towards her. Not knowing what she truly meant by what she just said, I want her to be happy. All those portraits on the walls that showed how happy she was. I wanted to see it, I felt the sharpness of the whip on my back.

I came out of that memory. She blamed me for her sufferings, she was supposed to be just a concubine for my father, making her free from the shackles of royalty but that all changed when she gave birth to me. When they realized I was going to be the next guardian, by law it was required for her to stand as queen. Being blessed by the Gods and not acknowledge the woman who gave birth to that babe. It's just insulting, and in my kingdom, we are careful not to offend the Gods. That's when she could no longer sneak out and see Aristia's father, she was guarded, shackled to the castle and she was no longer happy. All because she gave birth to me, and just because her father didn't want to marry a low born and taint his name.

Agamemnon, he wasn't king by blood. The title was passed to him by his brother, Damaris. Training with Damaris I understood why he didn't want to become a king, it was too many responsibilities, and he did not want greed to get the best of his family. So, he willingly gave his throne to his brother who was hungry for power and Agamemnon did everything to maintain his name and power.

Do I really want her to become something like my bother? I never thought I would start feeling like this towards her, my willingness to kill people who touches her. That if it comes down to it, I will burn everything to protect her. I had never felt this way for anything, let alone anyone. I'm getting confused, my mind gets cloudy in her presence, like I'm dreaming. I took off my cloak and knelt beside her, my hand automatically went to touch her face. It was soft and warm. She's finally getting warm, I got really worried seeing her on the ground like she was lifeless. I've never imagined what fear could feel like, especially not like this. Her lips that were pink that reminded me of rose buds were gone, what remained was a pale color. The top lip was thinner, but not too thin, and it had a natural cupid's bow; the bottom one was larger and plusher. I moved her hair away from her face, her eyes were puffy, and nose was red. She was crying, she starts shifting in her sleep, she bit her lip trying to stop her cough, I pour her a mug of water and carefully made her drink it in hopes that her coughing would calm down. I wanted to feel her lips against mine again, but perhaps she wouldn't like it. I restrained myself, she is in no condition for any of those.

I don't know why I'm thinking of these thoughts right now, and of all people why her? I wanted it to be her, just her.

She opened her eyes, half-closed and I can tell she was beyond exhausted. Her eyelashes fluttering as she tries to keep them open. She was mumbling something that I couldn't make out. I reached out to her to hold her face, but she slapped my hand away and turned her back on me. That left me confused and annoyed, here I am fighting my urges and doubting myself, and now she's mad? I wanted to put her in her place and show her she can't disrespect me, but I stood up and walked out of the tent to avoid any more conflict between us.