The Fifth Guardian

Chapter 32

ARISTIA'S POV

After that fight with him, he did leave me alone. It's been a few days since we last talked. Even in training, he'll have Val train me or Lael. He did everything to avoid me, and it was breaking me apart, I wanted to go to him and apologize. I want to hear him make his snarky comments and tell me awful things. Anything, I don't care as long as he talked to me, but he just ignored me. Everyday, when I wake up, I look at the mark on the back of my hand and there is always anxiety there that he might really break the binding we made, and I don't know what to do. This is the only thing I am holding on to, in hopes that we might fix things. I said awful things to him that night, I basically professed my love to him. He said things I couldn't believe that it was impossible to believe but I wished I did. Would it change the outcome that night? He didn't love me, he couldn't even say it. That already says a lot, I heard from the maids around the palace. He's been taking walks with Lady Casindra, and it hurts me, I prefer to be stabbed or tortured than picturing him with someone else. It's horrible.

There's a dinner party tonight, just important people. There was someone assigned to me that explains everything, gives me a list of important people that I ignored. Her name is Madam Caris, she's been teaching me royal history and etiquette and apparently Rayna thought it was a good idea to assign her to. I feel like he did this to spite me and it's annoying. I just left Madam Caris' class, I was done with her for today. She was getting on my nerves, and it was getting really annoying. My heart aches, I didn't want to do anything anymore. If I wasn't forced out of bed, I wouldn't leave my room. I haven't been eating well, I just didn't have any appetite anymore. His words are still in my head, it keeps repeating over and over again.

I didn't realize that I was in front of my room because I was staring at Raynar's door that leads to his. It was a few feet away from in front of my room, sometimes he comes out and looks my way and just stares for a few seconds before walking away.

It breaks my heart and there was nothing I could do, he could never love me. I went inside my room and there was a maid there, fixing the dress I was going to wear tonight. I gave her a smile and she bowed to show her respect, she gestured to me to sit down as she helps me. I'm starting to realize they are distant because they were instructed to, Sir Axel did follow my request. They tied my hair up in a high ponytail, placing a small tiara on my head. I used to wonder why not a crown, Madam Caris told me it was because I wasn't officially the queen yet.

The maids were informing me of the people attending again, there was quite a few. Some nobles, aristocrats and Dukes, some Marquess. They told me their names, but my mind was just drifting to Raynar, he'll be there, and I don't know how I will react to it. Once I got dressed, all the maids left. I stood in front of a mirror and stared at the necklace he gave me, it was breaking me. The "heart of inferno", the most important relic of his kingdom. He gave it to me, he has feelings towards me, but he does not love me. How can you have feelings for someone and not be able to love them? I do not know how he does it, how he can keep a straight face and act normal as I crumble to pieces.

I opened the door and I almost screamed from being startled, he was standing right there. His beautiful red orbs staring into me, like he knew what I was thinking. I looked away, I don't want to know what emotions he had right now, good, or bad it will only hurt me more.

"I know it's inconvenient for you, but we has to show that we're in good standing", he said, and I could only give him a nod. Of course, he cared about that. He was scared that the people around us would think there's conflict and right now with everything going on. We need to keep our people at ease. We start walking, I just followed him. I still don't know my way around the palace.

"I'll have Lael make you something for you to sleep better" he said, it wasn't a question. This left me confused.

"I don't need that" I said, he didn't talk to me for a while and now he's concerned of me not sleeping well?