Promise me [Levi Ackerman x OC]

XVIII: Failure

From the far, Hazel got sight of the barracks, there wasn't long time ago the survey corps got there too. It was a mess, injured people everywhere, carts with dead bodies covered with sheets, dreadful faces of the cadets. She rode faster and arrived to the main building, there she got off her horse and start to look for familiar faces.

She breathe at the sight of Hange with Moblit, although they looked tired and unmotivated, they were coordinating some cadets to download the supplies from the carts. Miche and his squad were identifying some bodies. Erwin was discussing with the Commander before realizing she was there. She could advert the expedition was a failure with the intense atmosphere around the place.

"What happened?" She was still looking for the trio and their squad.

"Heavy rain blocked our sight and we got attacked by an abnormal, there was a lot of losses." Erwin told her with pity. "Flagon's squad was the most affected."

She ran to where Miche was with the list of the losses and snatched it from him looking for the names of his friends. Her heart was at his high limit by now but she ignored it reading name by name. Miche voice was a buzz in her ears, the tears made it difficult to read and the numbness made her hands to tremble.

Two pair of hands shaking her shoulders made her snap from her thoughts.

"Sweetie, I need you to calm down and breathe." Hange voice was gentle and reassuring, she took her friend hands leading Hazel to her office. After making her sit in her couch, Hange went for the medicines and left them in the table.

"Han, it's my fault. I brought them here, I indirectly killed them. How will I look him in the eyes again?" Hazel was torn apart for the losses of Furlan and Isabel. "And Flagon, he was always so kind to me and all I did was to reject him. I'm a despicable person."

Hange limit herself to listen while caressing the hair of her friend who was desolate crying. "Shh, it wasn't your fault. You gave them a chance to live here, if not, they would've get execute, remember. What happened in the expedition was something no one could controlled."

After the tears dried she took her medicines and calmed herself a bit.

"Are you feeling better?"

"No, but I guess I can't stay here crying myself to death. I'm glad you are here, I love you, Han." She hugged her hard.

"And I love you, Hazel. I missed you there." They separated smiling. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to your shortie buddy? He was the one who killed the abnormal that gave us trouble."

"Alone?" Hange nodded. "Impressive. I... I don't know, I need time to gain courage."

The day after the expedition, a lot of soldiers went home to their families, the leaders went to the soldiers' families that were lost in battle to grieve them, the ones remaining were quiet remembering their comrades in their day off.

That night would be the last one of Commander Shadis as their leader giving Erwin the position, and to acknowledge him, will be a farewell dinner.

"You've never looked so miserable, you need to get out of that bed and, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but you need a shower. Even I got one this morning." Hange has went to check on her friend who hasn't leave her quarter in the whole day.

Hazel's face was puffed for the crying, trying to convince herself it wasn't her fault. Remembering she was going to take Isabel in her squad, that Furlan was going to have a chance to learn everything about this world outside the underground, she start to cry again over and over the entire day. She didn't have the opportunity to say good-bye.

By the time Hange came to see her, the tears wouldn't came anymore, it was just her guilty mind haunting her.

"I'm punishing myself." She throw her pillow to Hange and rolled her body in the bed.

"Stop the drama, young lady. Have you take your meds today? I'm worry you have this light attacks recently."

"Yes, mom. Soon I will go to Dr. Jaeger, thanks for worrying."

"I'm being serious, I won't move from here until you get a shower and change. We have to be at the dinner, you know? The other military higher ups will be here."

"Ugh. That doesn't help much. I will go just because I need a drink." She stood from bed with a sigh and reluctantly went to her bathroom.

She met Hange at her office to made their way to the mess hall with the rest of their comrades. Dinner was served in every table, but the reality was that everyone preferred to be drinking in small groups.

The first group, they encountered by their misfortune, were the higher ups consisting in the Premier, the three Commanders, Erwin, Miche and Levi. The old ones were cheerful laughing like the last expedition hasn't happened, all with their jars of beer and others with wine. The young were more serious just standing there in formality.