Binuksan ko ang TV, it is currently 11 PM. I can't fall asleep. The fact that I'm meeting him again tomorrow to make things clear again just makes me feel more guilty. Kung sinuswerte ka nga ba naman, si Tev pa talaga ang guest.
"Welcome Mr. Dutch."
"Thank you Sir Sebastian." He smiled.
"So how is life going for you?"
"It's good actually." Namula 'yung mukha niya, luh kinilig si abno.
"Is there a reason for your smiles tonight?"
"Yes, it's really eating me up."
"Really? What is it?"
"She's...basta, she makes me smile."
"Oh so it's a she pala ah."
"AHAHAHA! Let's keep it simple na muna, she doesn't know it's her."
So naguguluhan ako. Naka-move on na ba siya or ako pa rin? Eh nakakatakot kasi kapag naging kami paano 'yung friendship namin? Putek kaya ayaw kong may crush sa kaibigan eh.
"So dahil andito ka sa show namin, hindi pwedeng hindi kami mag-dig sa past mo." My attention went back to the TV. "It is said na kung hindi ka raw artista ay engineer ka?"
"Yeah I studied Electrical Engineering." He said.
"Ahh so ginusto mo? Hindi ka forced?"
"No, my parents don't really force me into stupid things lalo na kung alam nilang ayaw ko. I wasn't growing if ayaw ko ang ginagawa ko."
"So paano mo nalaman na ito ang gusto mo?"
"When...when I couldn't think of anything else, 'yung alam mong tama na tapos feel mo hindi mo hahayaang magkamali ka kasi masaya ka and ayaw mong may ibang mangyari, 'yung parang planado na."
"Trabaho ba 'yan or love?"
He chuckled a bit. "Whatever people interpret it as."
"Ang dami niyang nasabi, ang talino mo ah. Marami ka nang napag-daanan sa buhay ano?"
"Marami na po. Pero kahit gaano talaga karaming dumating at lampasan mo mas dadami pa eh. I wasn't the type of person to accept change pero someone I met in my 4th year in highschool taught me something. It was to accept everything, when I did I became the person I didn't knew I was able to be. Hindi na ako takot humarap sa mundo at mas lalong lumakas ang loob ko, iba kasi ang impact niya sa'kin eh."
Even if...people dig into his past to figure out who he was talking about, I think they'd still mess up before they find out that he was talking abut me the whole time. Manhid ako...pero hindi ako tanga, I can feel something from him way back in highschool. Sinasabi nila sa'kin pero hindi ko lang ineentertain ang thought kasi baka mali lang sila.
"Iba ka talaga Mr. Dutch."
"I'm not me if I haven't met that person kaya kung nanunuod ka man, thank you for it." He smiled.
Nag-patuloy ang show na puro games ang ginagawa nila. Some were even questions to answer while popping balloons.
"Pero may nabalitaan ako na mag-reresign ka na raw sa Film Gram?"
"Yes. I already wrote it and bukas ko na ibibigay kay Ms. Ferrer sa table niya."
"Would you like to say something to your fans?"
"Yes." He looked at the camera then naluha. "Sa lahat po ng sumuporta sa akin, thank you. Sana hindi po kayo malungkot, I did this kasi hindi ko na kaya. I'm not happy because I'm not doing the thing I love and hindi ko pa nakikita ang change sa sarili ko. I'm so sorry for this, once again ako po si Tervian Dutch officially signing off Film Gram management." Niyakap siya ng staff pati tinapik siya nung host.
Liar.
Hindi pa raw nakikita ang change eh ang laki nga. Parehas talaga kami ng abno na 'yan, hindi nakakakita ng self worth. Kahit naman hindi mo gusto ay mag-ggrow ka, matututunan mong hanapin ang true self mo kasi hindi ka nga masaya and it will lead you to something you really want. Natulog na lang ako.
Bakit kasi mahal kita? Ayan tuloy gusto kitang makasama.
BINABASA MO ANG
His Other Life
Random(COMPLETED) Wala akong karapatang lumapit sa kaniya, that's his other life. "I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be...pero I want to make this work and make us happy." "I'm not expecting perfect...I just want you." Niyakap ko ulit siya, not wantin...
