My Everyday is full of you

Panimula

Panimula

"Hindi mo na naman nagawang maging number sa one sa school Julyza!."

Ito ang bumungad sa akin pagkapasok sa loob ng bahay namin, napahinto ako biglang malakas na dumampi ang kamay ni Daddy sa mukha ko.

"Julius stop that!"saway ni Mommy kay Dad na pinipigilan ito sampalin akong muli.

I remained silent while he saying that word to me,they didn't know it's hard to defeat Armand Rosales which my daddy talking about. Armand is my best friend and schoolmate in kindergarten until now,gusto ko itong matalo para maipakita kay Daddy na magagawa ko ang sinasabi nito.

I automatically turned my back to them,I don't want to talk to this it always seems important to them to be a achiever like my older sister Jamilla. It's really hurt to compare to her I know she is intelligent and beautiful, everyone like her because she is smart how about me...I'm just outcast, second choice to everything,no one proud of what achievement I get they always said a little bit of hardwork.

I really hate to compare to anyone, they never contented to what God give to everyone why they need to assume more.

"Comeback here!How dare you to walk out! I was talking to you!"He fuming mad yield to me.

Kaagad na hinawakan ko ang dalawang pinto ng kuwarto at isinara iyon sa tumalikod habang hawak pa din iyon, naramdaman kong nag-iinit ang gilid ng mga mata ko.

"Julyza!Open the door,you always make me ashamed!You are irresponsible!"

"Honey hayaan mo muna siya si Julyza."

Sobrang sakit na parang isang likiko ng kanta ang mga sasabihin ni Daddy, she think I didn't give my best to make him proud. It not easy to defeat Armand,kahit alamain ko ang lahat-lahat sa kaniya alam kong hindi ko siya matatalo.

Ano kaya ang pakiramdam na laging tinitingala ng iba,yung may nagpapahalaga sa lahat ng ginagawa kahit magkamali ka hindi ka nila hahayaan na malugmok ka sa pagkakamali na iyon.

It not my fault....to be like this!

Inialis ko ang shoulder bag na suot at inihagis iyon sa kama bago tinungo ang vanity table para kunin ang alambre at ipinaikot sa doorknob nuon.

"Bakit sa akin ibinigay ng diyos ang ganitong problema?Wala ba akong karapatan na sumaya?Kagaya ni Ate Jamilla?"

Dumaretso ako sa banyo para maghusga malakas na ini-angat ang faucet dahilan para magbasa ang kamay ko,galit na galit na hinuhugasan ang kamay.

I always do this when I am stressed,sa ganitong paraan nawawala ang pagkainis ko sa sarili pamilya. I obey all his suggestion in my life even though I don't like to,he control my whole life.

"Nag-away na naman kayo ni Daddy?"tanong ni Ate Jamilla sa akin habang nakapatong ang kamay sa railing ng veranda nito.

Mapaklang ngumiti ako."Lagi naman. Walang araw na hindi ako pinagalitan ni Daddy."

"Galingan mo kasi bakit hindi ka mandaya tuwing examination para pumasa ka naman. Bakit pa ba kita naging kapatid?"she asked so sarcastically,I suddenly felt my heart ache for what she said."You are the coward in this family,you deserve all the slap actually it's not enough you deserve more than of that."

Kinimkim ko ang galit na nararamdaman at tinawanan lang ang sinabi niya,I rather choose not to be part of this family ever since. I want freedom just because the cruelty of this family for money, position, popularity, publicity.

"Ang suwerte mo Ate Jamilla laging nasa iyon ang lahat,nakukuha ang lahat ng gustuhin mo. I don't care I rather to be outcast,isaksak mo sa kaluluwa mo ang magulang natin."I glare at him so deathly."Total diyan naman magaling ang magulang natin,simula sa ngayon kakalimutan ko na pamilya ko kayo"

I turned my back at her,naisip ko na baka kung sakaling malaman niya ang nangyari sa akin ay tulungan ako niya at i-comport man lang ako sa nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Julyza anong nangyari sa kamay mo?"

Napatingin ako sa mga kaibigan ko bago ibinababa ang hawak na libro,we are sitting in the benches under the calm weather of July.

"Ang galas at nagbabalat din."puna ni Queenie sa kamay dumako ang kamay ko ruon binawi iyon.

I remained silent and ignoring Queenie said to me,gusto ko na lang na magsuot ng maskarang masaya kaysa malaman nilang sinasaktan ako ng sarili kong pamilya.

"Ganiyan siguro kapag matatalino nawawalan nang oras sa sarili."ani pa ni Ayesha sa malapad na ngumiti ako rito.

Kinuha ni Ayesha ang kamay ko at ipinatong iyon sa hita niya nakita kong nilagyan ni Queenie ng lotion ang kamay ko.

"Hindi naman.May nirereview ko lang ang magiging examination sa Literature."I said then bit my lower lip apprehensively.

Isinukbit ko ang satchel na dala bago itiniklop ang libro na hawak bago inilagay iyon, kailangan ko ng pumasok sa klase ko.

"I need to go.Maybe see you after class."I farewell said to them.

They gave me a farewell wave."See in the coffee shop infront of our school to study."

"I pass. I have extra classes after this class."I interrupted said to them.

Queenie managed to nodded at me then give me a smiled."Okay. Fighting! You can do that Julyza,maybe see you if you are free for Saturday to have a movie."

"I will.bye.

Thursday night we need to attend the charity for my father sake even I don't like to be here,just to pretend and to them that we are happy family. I need to aloof this feelings to our family are popular,just because of mommy influence and bussiness.

"Elizabeth!"

The young woman just like the age of mommy called her that why, we stop to greet her while she is walking towards to our direction.

She dropped her sight to us then Dad give a his hand to have shake hand as a sign of greetings, this the event look like you need to attend even without asking your approval.

"She is Jamilla isn't?"she asks then drop there eyes to me.

I look at her then smiled demurely."No, I'm Julyza. Jamilla is busy for some reason, I hope you don't mind."

"Oh!You look beautiful and stunning how old are you?"she asks.

I need to answered but Mom interrupt me, while Dad is busy to a little chichats with the bussiness tycoon in the country.

"Julyza is just 16 acting like a grow up.Julyza you should go with your Dad."

I wore black spaghetti dress to emphasize myself then black stilletos, pearl necklace and earrings,the fedora hat to look mature to them. I put some make up to look more mature and responsible, just like they wanted to do.

"Julyza you are here!"

Tinungo ko ang table nila Queenie at Ayesha, nagulat din ito sa suot ko ngayon gabi. Bussiness tycoon ang family ni Queenie at Ayesha, that why I very lucky to see tonight.

I sighed."It good that both of you are here tonight."

Mababagot na naman akong makinig sa mga bussiness topic,matchmaker of there son to me,plans to invest in that make there money bigger.

"You are here the most beautiful girl! Let get some drinks tonight!"Bryan suggested said they both agree to then asks the waiter to get some drinks.

Kasama nito ang ilang kalalakihan na anak din ng mayayaman na pamilya sa buong pilipinas, behalf of them I know because some of them are my exes and flirt with them.

This my life begins? I want to forget all of my problem so I need to drink. Tonight this is my choice to be happy.

"Julyza let's dance?"Theo offered his hand to me.

I gave him affirmative look."Yes maybe I need to dance the boy like you."