The following two days, I was unable to see Levi and Mikasa was even more overbearing than usual. The facade to present myself perfect made it harder to deal with school and my friends.
---Wednesday---
Mikasa hugged my from behind and poked into my side. "My parents aren't home, want to come over", I never understood the whole guys going crazy over sex thing. Mikasa always initiated it. I didn't enjoy it but I enjoyed making her happy. "Alright Mika", she suddenly blushed and smiled at me. "You haven't called me Mika in so long", I didn't even notice, how weird. Kind of annoying how everyone noticed things about me I did not.
After school I went home first to let her get ready and prepare myself mentally. As three hit I left the house to head to hers.
I stood before her door hesitantly but gave in and knocked. She opened the door in her robe and welcomed me in. She pulled me upstairs to her bedroom and softly kissed my lips. Even though it was a kiss with my girlfriend, it felt wrong. She stepped back after a few minutes and gazed at me confused. "Am I not attractive?".
I needed an excuse but how could I lie my way out of not being able to get hard. "No, you're absolutely beautiful", I pulled her towards me and kissed her again. Out of nowhere Levi came to mind as we kissed and the soft touch of his lips that night.
As we kissed his face was in mind, I wasn't kissing my girlfriend but him, I imagined his hands roaming my body. My member reacted to the fantasies my mind created.
Afterwards Mikasa was pleased while I was still in shock over getting hard for someone other than my girlfriend. I was a horrible human being.
----
Private chat
Levi: I bet you miss me
Levi: I'm hungry, let's get food
Levi: maybe I could stay over and help your mom pack too
----
I kept rereading the messages in my head. Why did his messages make me extremely happy. I looked over at Mikasa and cleared my throat. Am I about to make the right decision.
"My mom needs me", she looked at me and smiled. We both put our clothes on and I somehow managed to dodge her kiss at the end before leaving.
----
Private chat
Eren: usual spot
----
This time I waited for Levi to arrive. I saw him coming from a mile away however my face felt warm since I had just used him to get off. "Have you eaten", Levi asked indicating his worry. "Yeah, yesterday morning but my appetite disappeared so I couldn't afterwards", levi stretched his arm out offering me his hand which I without thought took. We ended up at a burger place and looked at each other before I averted my gaze first and went in first.
Levi was almost done with his food as I felt the need to tell him about Mikasa. "I had sex with her", Levis expression rarely changed. He always had a emotionless facial expression, however his eyes widened and his brows scrunched together. "Why are you telling me this", I played with the napkin ripping it piece by piece out of nervousness before meeting his eyes.
"Because thats where I was before I came here", his face relaxed and I swear his ears turned red. Then it hit me, I like him. I was into Levi. My friends do tell me I'm slow, but what did it matter? No matter how much I like him, I could never be with him. That would be satisfying my own needs and I didn't deserve him.
How troublesome, since when had I felt this yearnful for someone.
When we got home, we helped mom pack her bags talking about her trip and Levi staying over. Afterwards we showered and got into the same futon.
"I just noticed this has become a normal thing. You sleeping over", I turned over to face him, he placed his hand on mine and intertwined our fingers. "Eren, do you love her?", I already knew who he meant and bit down on my bottom row of teeth to hold myself back from kissing him right then. "Yes. Of course I love her", I scooted back and turned my face. The atmosphere was a bit awkward since he didn't answer. Nonetheless we didn't let go of the grip of each others hands.
Finally Levi laughed bitterly before displaying his annoyance with a tch. "What a complicated relationship we have, Yeager".
YOU ARE READING
So What If I Love You (Eren x Levi)
Fanfiction[Fan fiction] The quiet and questionable delinquent named Levi tumbles upon a taken and simple student named Eren. A bleeding Levi in an alleyway, what a clichè. Yet Eren approaches him anyway with the words "You look like shit". Will they become c...
