So What If I Love You (Eren x Levi)

I've ruined my mask

I did like you Levi, but I was too scared to find out how you felt about me. Do you love this disgraceful side of myself I show you.

--dream--

A nonshaped figure stood before me. Again blood was all over me and I couldn't move.

Someone patted my head but in the next moment I heard dark growling that turned into laughter. "Its all your fault!".

--reality--

I jolted up in a sweat before realizing I was at home and Levi was besides me. The nightmares were coming back, fuck. I laid back down to ensure Levi wouldn't wake up to fall back asleep myself.

---Morning---

Levi took me to school the next day, yet instead of leaving like he usually would. He stuck by my side.

On one hand Armin and Annie said nothing however they seemed on the verge of asking, on the other hand Mikasa was brooding anger. She finally snapped at lunch "Why won't you stay away from Eren, he's already been acting different ever since you two started talking", Mikasa confronted him while he was helping me eat the Bento mom made, since he was the only one who knew about my eating problem.

Before I could step in to protect him, he sat the Bento on my lap and looked at her with the most unbothered facial expression. "Oh, you mean him actually being happy or maybe me actually paying attention to him and not talking about myself 24/7?", in the spur of the moment, I saw Mikasa lift her hand and swiftly smack him across the face. He immediately stood up and headed for the door to leave, I scrambled up but Mikasa grabbed the sleeve of my uniform.

"Is he more important than me", I pulled my hand back and all I could see was red as I looked upon her. "Don't fucking touch me", startled she let her hand fall mid air and I ran after Levi. I caught up to him grabbing his wrist. He turned to look at me unfazed. "Im sorry, Levi".

Unexpectedly he placed his head on my shoulder and my hand ended up on his head while my fingers ran through his hair. After a while he stood up properly "I'm going to leave now, I'll pick you up after school. Okay.", I couldn't hold it against him and watched him leave reluctant of what I should do.

Armin came to me before I could leave the school by my locker as I was switching my shoes.
"She was in the wrong", confused I looked at him but received a smile back from him as a response. He looked away out the door before looking back at me. "Its true that the Eren I grew up with is starting to disappear. Ever since that day 5 years ago, Mikasa is mad she wasn't the one, she thought she knew you the most. You never opened up but its different with him isn't it. I can tell he's a good guy. Just remember I'm on your side no matter what".

He punched me in the arm before leaving, I slowly walked outside and Levi ,as he promised, was waiting on me. As I set my eyes on him, they swelled up. He rushed by my side noticing the tears streaming down my face. Its been so long since I cried. "Who", his words sounded deadly as he cupped my face wiping my tears away. "N-no, its not..not like that", I sobbed out.

He dragged me to the back of the school where we sat below the windows while I cried. After I calmed down, I looked over at him and the words poured out about everything I've been feeling.

"I've been skipping the therapy appointments for the last three weeks, I've ruined my mask I worked so hard on. I'm tired, my nightmares have returned", I finally finished speaking and my eyes felt heavy from crying and I felt tired from the whole incident. I could tell he listened and it didn't make me feel guilty that he had to listen. My mind didn't feel as jumbled when I was with Levi.

"Oh..and worst part, I don't love Mikasa, it just made sense, more like I didn't care as long as I didn't have to think or decide. I'm such a shitty person", Levi turned me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to blurt it out, I wanted him to know I loved him instead but not before settling things with Mikasa.

---The next morning---

----
Call

Hospital: Is this Eren Yeager?

Eren: Yes?

Hospital: Your mother has been in an accident. Please come to the hospital

----

The phone fell out of my hand.