So What If I Love You (Eren x Levi)

Pity

--dream--

"Hey, don't cry", a strange shadow patting my head told me. We sat in the middle of nowhere and suddenly the light had grown darker and a voice growled "Its all your fault".

--reality--

I jolted awake trying to catch my breath, looking around me before sighing. It was just a nightmare. I pulled my blanket off and headed to the bathroom to pour water over my face. I went back to sleep afterwards, yet not long after my alarm woke me up.
My eyes wandered the desk to hit the dismiss button before looking to see it was already 11. Mom came by my room "Eren, get up. You need to get yourself fixed up, you can't sleep all day", she stood in my doorway until I had finally sat up and told her I'd get ready. My phone had 3 new notifications.

----
Private chat

Mikasa: Wanna meet after your therapy session?

Groupchat

Armin: Let's hang after school

Annie: My place after 2

----
Oh yeah, I had to go to the Therapist today. Mom made me go even though I told her it wasn't necessary. I replied that I'd be over at 4 with Mikasa after my appointment and with that got up to shower. I took the train into the city and made my way into the direction of the therapists office. This place filled me with resentment.

"Oh, Hi Eren", she offered me a pity smile telling me to sit down. I sat in the red leather chair across from her black office chair. Her legs were crossed as she held onto to the notebook where all of our conversations were recorded in. The room looked exactly the same as I looked around, empty and neat. "So how have you been", she asked as she opened the book already writing words down before I had the chance to reply. "Good", I kept it short and she simply nodded while humming. "Your friends? Girlfriend?", she questioned.

"Happy and hopeful", I answered dully wishing I could have been at home. But I really didn't want to be there either. She kept on querying me thus I either lied or dully responded. She thanked me for coming at the end of our hour and I left after excusing myself. Mikasa picked me up from a store close by and started to interrogate me as well. It was a bit more difficult to answer without answering, so I used my perfected get her to stop talking about it tactic.

I took her hand pulling her into a kiss and asking her to tell me about her day. Dazed she told me about what she did this morning and forgot about my appointment. She held my hand until we got to Annies house.

Somehow I wasn't feeling like this could be a distraction and the feeling of just being with them to be happy wasn't existent. I'm sure everyone has their own autopilot, right when they aren't able to think straight. The rest of the day I had it on while playing with the others. "Right Eren?" were the only words I needed to listen out for.

As usual I took Mikasa home and told her I loved her before leaving. It was already dark and I passed by the alleyway, no one or anything was there of course. I continued walking with a weird feeling that formed in my stomach. The rest of the weekend passed by dreary.

On Monday, as soon as I reached the classroom with Mikasa. My eyes roamed the room and to my surprise he was actually there. Our eyes met but he turned away and a weird feeling passed through my body. Well I let it be and continued walking to my seat next to Armin. Yet my eyes stayed on him the rest of the day.
School was over and it went by kind of blurry.

I made my way home and suddenly an electric shock flowed through my body. I was kneeling on the ground and nothing made sense. Moving felt painful and forms gathered around me, one reached for me therefore I reacted scared smacking the form away from me before coming back to reality. "D-don't touch me", I stumbled back hurrying to get up before I clearly saw his face. No. That was that face of pity. He was looking down on me. I ran away not looking back afraid of facing myself or him. Mom wasn't home thankfully, so I headed to my room closing my door.

After calming down, I showered and headed straight to bed. I didn't have much of an appetite.