Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 13 • soothing, staying, and sleeping

'Oh, won't you stay with me,

'cause you're all I need'

--

"Delphine," Mary whispered as she held the baby, "her name is Delphine."

Bash laid next to his wife and looked at his new baby.

He fell in love for a second time.

Anne stood up, grabbed the excess towels, and nudged Gilbert, "We should give them space."

He nodded silently and followed her out of their bedroom door and into the kitchen.

Anne went over to the wash bin, dropped in the towels, and began filling the bin with water so she could wash them, "You did great in there."

Gilbert didn't say a word. He was too overwhelmed to say anything. He just stood outside of the bedroom door and stared at Anne.

When she didn't hear anything, Anne turned around to see Gilbert tearing up.

"Oh, Gilbert." She said softly.

Anne walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, "Hey, it's okay, you did it."

That's when he started crying.

Gilbert didn't cry. He didn't cry when he broke his arm at 10 years old, he didn't cry when his puppy died, he didn't cry when Matthew died, and he didn't even cry when his own father died. But in this moment, he let himself cry.

Anne drew small circles on his back with her thumb and tightened her hold on him, "What's wrong?"

Very slowly, he hugged her waist and held her tightly, "I was so scared."

"Why?"

"What if I messed up?" Gilbert bit his lip, "What if I hurt the baby or Mary?"

"You didn't." Anne whispered.

"But what if I did?"

Anne leaned away so she could see his face.

She had never seen Gilbert so genuinely upset, let alone cry.

Anne took her right arm off of his back and wiped a tear off of his face with her thumb, "Gilbert, we can spend our life going through 'what if's. What matters is what happened. Mary is fine and Delphine was born. You did it."

He finally looked into her eyes, "But I couldn't save Matthew."

Anne's stomach dropped at the mention of Matthew, "Gil-"

"You said it yourself, Anne. It's my fault Matthew is dead." Gilbert shook his head and looked away from her.

He couldn't bear to look into her eyes anymore. He had disappointed her.

Anne felt a sting of guilt, "I was just upset. I didn't actually mean that."

"But I could have saved him." He whispered.

"No you couldn't." Anne was surprised to hear herself say that, but she knew it was true. She always knew it was true.

"It was his second heart attack and he'd been lying there for a while. A trained professional couldn't have saved him either."

Gilbert looked at her again, "Do you really believe that?"

Anne smiled, "Would I say anything I didn't believe?"

Gilbert smiled back, "No."

"Then I think you have your answer."

Gilbert let go of Anne, who immediately missed his touch.