Heart Attack • Shirbert

• 38 • scores, spelling, and successes

'Don't stop thinking about tomorrow,

Don't stop, it'll soon be here'

--

June passed as quickly as it began, and the students of Avonlea were anxiously awaiting their test scores and college acceptances. Test scores were supposed to come back the first week of July and college acceptances that weren't from Queens College would likely come that same week. Colleges received their test scores before they did.

And at this moment, Miss Stacy stood in front of the students with the test scores in her hands.

"In my hands, I have the results of all your hard efforts this past year." She beamed at them proudly.

They all stood around her fidgeting. It was hard to keep still when your future was held in someone else's hands. Literally.

"You made a great showing for Avonlea and I'm unbelievably proud of all of you."

Anne couldn't think straight. Her eyes were locked on the paper in Miss Stacy's hands. She was pretty confident her score would pass for Queens, but University of Toronto? That was another story.

You aren't going there anyway.

Right?

Miss Stacy slammed down the paper of results and everyone ran up to it.

Diana looked at the paper and squealed happily. She got in. She actually did it. Despite her family telling her she could never go to college and only preparing her to pour tea and curtsy, she still did it. Why couldn't she have it all?

Ruby immediately burst into tears. It wasn't because she didn't pass, it was because she did. All her life, everything she did was for someone else. She did everything at school for Gilbert. She wore her hair down for her mother. She learned how to properly pour tea for her father. But passing the Queens exam was for her alone. At one point, she wanted to go to Queens only to be close to Gilbert. But now she gave up on him. Going to Queens was now for her benefit alone. It was her happiest moment.

Josie's feelings were similar to Diana's. Her mother always told her she was only good for marriage. She was convinced she could only marry for status and money. But now, Josie at least had options. That's all she ever wanted.

Jane was beyond relieved. For a while, she thought her sister's dissatisfaction with what was thought to be normal for women was silly. The norm meant less work and a lavish life. But her opinions quickly changed. Prissy's determination was inspiring.

Tilly was surprised. She honestly expected not to go to school and to hopefully marry one of the boys who were already following her around. She didn't know what she would choose but, like Josie, she was just happy to have options.

None of the girls would realize it until later in life, but their newfound confidence and want to succeed was somewhat due to Anne. They loved being women and they believed in themselves. They would never imagine someone as seemingly low as Anne would change their lives.

Suddenly, Anne didn't want to move anymore. The thing about not knowing her scores was that she could live in limbo. Limbo was better than knowing she didn't do well enough. She had worked harder than anyone else in the class to get to where she was. She started off with nothing and forged a life for herself. What if it was all for nothing?

She stayed away from the scene and stared at her classmates cheering and hugging each other. Anne was completely out of reality until she felt someone stand next to her.

"You're too scared to look too?" Gilbert looked down at Anne, who was completely pale.

"What if I didn't do well enough?" Anne rocked back and forth on her feet.