Half A World Away [H.S]

08. AUG 15TH part3

Once Harry left my room , my mind was out of everything that I couldn't find myself to sit on a tub we shared, and get back in the state of mind to focus on my mother's journal without thinking about him and the short moment we shared.

I could only gather myself to a full on shower, to wash away the chlorine from the pool of my hair and body. With my computer still screaming music through its speakers, my mind so far away from reality, didn't even notice how Justin's first album was over, allowing the beat of stuck in the moment to flow through the echoing bathroom.

I laugh in between a heavy breath, with my head under the water.

*WITH YOU* Ironic, was the only thing that could come up in my mind.

*WITH YOU* Unbelievable how out of all of his songs, this specific one would be the one playing right now.

*I WISH WE HAD ANOTHER TIME, I WISH WE HAD ANOTHER PLACE* It was the high pitch voice, with the words, making Harry's last words run through my head uncontrollably.

-I gave up on trying to pretend you don't exist- The soft lips meeting the skin of my face, soon letting out a few more words - We can finish this conversation later- I am not sure what he meant with any of it. A conversation to finish? What conversation? There was really not much to talk about.

Besides the curiosity that formed inside of me, once he said he was trying to pretend I didn't exist. But when would that have been, we only know each other for what? 3 day?

What happened in the club's bathroom was a weak moment, coming from an almost overdose feeling and adrenaline, the tub was straight up a mistake, lucky cut short, because i wouldn't have an explanation, either a drug to blame on this time.

*NEVER HAD TO HIDE LIKE WE DO*

Don't get me wrong, Harry is a very, very attractive guy, he has the height, the eyes, those green eyes that take you in a hug without even touching you. The hair, the softest hair I have ever landed my hands on, and the dimples, that I have only seen once, but gentle like a rose petal, that smoothly appears once he smirks or gives you a side smile, in the silkiest skin I have ever touched.

And while I can easily sit at a table across from him and describe every imperfection that makes him look perfect. He is still working with my father, he has only crossed my life, because of my father, who happened to invite me to play for him at the studio. Not only I have to keep that in mind and not interfere their working space, we would sit here, let vulnerability take over for a few days, when I know, They will all get back on the road, travel the world, be obnoxious Popstars, while I sit in a class room Monday through Thursday, with an ordinary life.

Please don't see this as me complaining about my life, or judging theirs, the craziness and adrenaline they are getting from this life, I have had it all my life, I am just being realistic, because I know what goes down behind the scenes, backstage when there is no camera, nor fans looking, and I chose this, for me.

I chose to get a certification out of a school when I knew I could get much more knowledge and experience by working with my father and real artists. I did it for my mom, the person that kept me grounded to normality, to the simple things in life, to not take an act or small gesture for granted, to help those that don't have one fifth of what I do, and to not fall into the easy life, and get some kind of certification, to study and do things that kept me normal and humble, I did it for us.

But none of that means I can't be friends with Harry or any of the boys, because while I will have, or at least try to have a normal life, 4 days a week, friday will come around and I will be brought back to my reality, in an airplane, flying to wherever my father and the boys are, to be there for a little over 48 hours. So to think we won't get close, is simply crazy.