Half A World Away [H.S]

27. SEP 07th part 2

And here I am again, I am trying, I promise, and I can't promise but I am working on posting twice a week, who knows. the good stuff is coming just around the corner.

******

I'm not sentimental
But there's somethin' 'bout the way you look tonight

******

The dinner table was filled with my closest friends, 9 of the people that I spent most of my summers with, the ones that understood me the most and I was selfishly enough to leave them behind for two years without a single warning, but as all the comforting messages filled my message box, with emails and letters, I was left aware that they did understand my decision even though they didn't know the truth behind it, they still stood by me.

Before taking a seat between Justin and Kendall, I went around the table greeting everyone and exchanging a few words before getting trapped in a single conversation and having the chance to entertain everyone that papa had invited to come see me.

He knew I needed this even when I personally didn't know it myself.

And at the first end of the table was Luka with his grown out dreads, sunglasses that were black framed and light green tinted, he had immediately put the cigarette away once Kendall jumped off her seat and he saw papa and I approaching the table.

To his left side, the side that was facing me, and their back to the beautiful city below us, was the Hadid siblings, Bella Anwar and Gigi and to finish that side was Kendall finding her seat back. To Lukas right side was Fai, Jaden, Sophia and Justin, leaving the very end empty for me.

I love them, all of them and a bit more, I missed the commotion that I could already see happening as everyone was trying to talk at the same time. And as I made my way to my seat to sit in between my closest friends, and dear lovers of my life, I let my eyes spark up, a smile grew bigger by the second as I watched all of us together again to rule the world and make it hell.

That's what we used to say all the time at least. Lol

I was so high of excitement that it completely passed by me that there wasn't a seat vacant for grandpa until he came by my side landing a kiss on my forehead.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked, dropping my smile and looking at him.

"Ima let you guys enjoy yourselves..." He smiled big "... I will have my driver stay in stand by so he can drive you back home once you guys are done"

It's been so long since I last saw everyone, since I have been in this environment and while I have been looking to reconnect with everyone, I also am unsure of what is going to come up from this dinner. I haven't prepared myself for this, I haven't thought about all the terrible things that can come down, all the little words that can easily trigger me to unlock the evil that lives inside of my head.

And maybe the excitement in me allowed that worryness to fade away for a few seconds, until now, until I am fully aware that without grandpa I can't rely on him for an excuse to leave whenever my anxiety builds up, I can't put the blame on him if it gets to a certain time of the night that just seems too late to have him up this late and we would have to leave. I would have to rely on disappointing people that I love once again because the commotion has become too much for me to handle.

As everyone is focused on their own little conversation, I take a look around, taking just a few second in each of their beautiful faces that I have missed so much, until my eyes lay on Justin for a few extra seconds before he gazes at me with a sweet smile and I feel papa's large hand be placed over my shoulders, making me look at him with a worry smile.