~ take it back~

Chapter ~18~

I walk away and look back at her casket. I feel my heart beat quicken as I fall to the floor. I let out a loud whimper. Daniel comes falling to my side. I let out another sob. "Oh my god" I hear some women whisper. "Let her have some air!" I hear one of the cops yell at everyone. I let out a scream. Johnny comes kneeling down with the rest of the guys. He grabs my hands. I let out another cry as everyone's eyes start to water especially the guys.

"In..And out.." I hear tommy say. I turn my attention towards him. I breath in and out. But my heart rate begins quickening faster than before. "It's not working" I say to tommy. He makes his way behind me and grabs my hand out of Johnny's. "Listen to my voice..close your eyes and breathe" he says. I do as he says and feel my heart rate slow down. "There you go" he says. "In..And out.." he says again.

"Do you feel better" he says after 20 minutes. I open my eyes and look down at the floor as a tear escapes my eye. "Yeah just tired" I whisper. "Cmon Let's Get you back home" he says helping me up. He grabs my hands and walks me back to the car. I ignore all the eyes that are on me. I lay my head on his shoulder as the others get in. These panic attacks are really getting bad now. After 20 minutes of being in that car we return home.

I walk out. I open up the house and let the guys in. I walk into my room as everyone follows. "I'll be next store if you need anything" Mrs.LaRusso says. "Thank you" I say smiling. I take off my sweater. I pull out a black tangtop and grey sweats. "Someone take this off" I say to the guys. I look in the mirror and see Dutch behind me. He unzips it. "Thank you" I say to him. It falls off my body. "Wow..pink" Daniel says. I look at him.

I let out a giggle and slip on my sweats. "Yeah pink, red, black, yellow, blue, E.T.C" I say to him. I slip on my tangtop. The guys sit on the bed. I throw my dirty clothes in the hamper. I shut my door and shut off the lights opening up my blinds just a little bit. I hand the boys the remote. "Put something on. I don't care what it is but I'm gonna take a nap" I say to them. I lay on my bed. As Johnny wraps his arms around my waist and puts the blanket over me. I close my eyes and rest for a little bit.

A couple hours later

I open my eyes to see me alone in my room. None of the guys are here. I remove the blanket and stand up. I walk to the door only to here yelling. I walk out and see Daniel and Johnny arguing. "You used here to get to Ali you bastard!" Daniel yells. "Like She's Ever gonna know! She's so blind!" Johnny yells. "I may be blind but it still hurts" I say to them. They all look at me. "Yeah I heard" I say again. "I don't really care cause right now I need all of you! Every single one of you! You can fuck Ali all you want! You can use me all you want but please just stop fighting!" I yell at them on the verge of tears.

"Told you shes so blind" Johnny says. "Dude enough!" Dutch yells. I look at him surprised. "Any one of us fucking guys here would be lucky to have someone so fucking beautiful!" Dutch yells at Johnny. "I can see why Daniel likes her a lot..I can see why she can never choose any of us guys over one another..I can see why she gets so fucking sad" I hear jimmy say. "Lydia is the most amazing girl in this fucking world" I hear tommy say. A tear slips down my cheek.

"She's amazing. I guess Johnny... two years meant nothing to you" Bobby says. "Those 2 years were amazing Johnny..2 or 3 days ago I had the most amazing night ever..yesterday was so good too besides my mother dead" I say to him. "All of you guys are so amazing in each and every way" I say to them. "But I cannot fight with you guys right now" I say walking to my rooms slipping on my shoes and grabbing my purse. I also grab my house key just in case. "Where you going" I hear Dutch say. "To get some air" i say walking out of the house and into my car.

I start the car and put down the stack. About 20 minutes I make it to the beach. I go sit down on the sand. I feel the wind blow through my hair. Watching the sun go down. The waves look so beautiful. I take a deep breath and about one hour later I can see all the beautiful colors. The pinks,oranges, blues and purples. I feel eyes on me as I turn around and see the guys looking at me. I turn back around to the water. "You know you don't have to just stand there. Come sit down" I say to them. I see Johnny and Daniel sit next me followed by the rest of the guys.

I smile to myself. "I need you guys to get along please" I say to them. "I'll try my hardest" Daniel says. I look at Johnny. "I'll try to" he says. I smile to myself. "It's pretty isn't it" I say. They look at me. "The colors and the waves" I say back. "It is pretty" I hear tommy says. I look and smile at him.

Hope you like it!!