Red vs Blue in the RWBY universe

The portal

???: ATTENTION BLUE-TARDS! WE ARE HERE TO NEGOTIATE YOU'RE SURRENDER!

The blues are in side blue base doing absolutely nothing with their lives.

???: I don't get it does he still think we're fighting?

???: SARGENT WE ARE FRIENDS REMEMBER MR WASHINGTUB AND THE MEAN LADY SAID SO.

A man with turquoise/aqua/teal armor visor palms at this

???: Caboose, *sigh* they didn't say so we found out by investigating.

Caboose: Yeah, Tucker. That never happened.

Tucker: You're retarded. GRIF! TELL SARGE WE AREN'T FIGHTING ANYMORE!
He yells at red team who are outside blue base.

Grif: I dunno man, sounds like too much effort.
He says while laying on the ground with his body spilling out of his armor.

Sarge: Grif get your one ton, fat, lazy self off the ground and tell me... whatever you are supposed to tell me.

???: I'll do it sir! Sarge what blue team is trying to tell us, is that we are no longer fighting each other. *he proceeds to tell sarge the entire history of Red vs Blue* and that is how we got here.

Sarge: ... Simmons you sure tell the craziest stories, what are you going to tell me next? *he points to a warthog* that the warthog looks like a big cat?
He says while chuckling.

Grif: IT DOES! IT LOOKS LIKE A PUMA!

Simmons: I agree with Sarge 100% on this subject. He says while bowing down to sarge.

Sarge: Aw stop sucking up Simmons. Let's go back to red base and make fun of Grif for being 20 minutes late because he is too fat to run 20 yards.

Grif: Sarge words cannot describe how much I ha—
he was interrupted by a man in silver armor with yellow trims screaming at the top of his lungs.

???: WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! IF YOU KEEP ME UP ANY LONGER I WILL NOT REST UNTIL AN ARMY OF TEX ROBOTS KICKS YOU ALL IN THE BALLS! ESPECIALLY GRIF BECAUSE HE'S FAT!
He screams at the reds and blues

Grif: *sniffle* It's just a little bit of fat...
He says depressingly

*timeskip brought to you by chibi Caboose team killing everyone*

Grif: *out of breath* Whew I made it, *collapses* what time is it, oh right my clock doesn't work like that, it just tells me the time until the next episode of Battlestar Galactica comes out, hey only two days. Well it's dark out now so I better go inside. *looks to see the base 10 feet away* ugh I need to crawl all the way over there?
He complains as a weird noise happens in the distance and a strange red glow.

Grif: SARGE! *thinks about word choice* THE BLUES ARE PLOTTING AGAINST US!
He decides to say the only thing that would get sarge's attention.

Sarge: I KNEW IT! And those good for nothing, evil blues thought they could trick us! We've been tricked! We've been backstabbed! And quite possible, bamboozled.
He says in a eerie tone.

Grif: Uh huh... well I heard a noise and I see a red glow over there. *he points at the glow*.

Sarge: A RED glow! Well I'll be darned, command must have brought us some new high tech reinforcement to eliminate the blues!
He says with enthusiasm.

Grif: I doubt it command is lazier than I am, plus I saw some blues go over there.
He says as Tucker and Caboose walk to the glow.

Sarge: Those backstabbing blues must be taking our supplies! C'mon Grif, we must beat them there. Yeehaw!
He says as he starts running.

Grif: Ugh no, not more physical labor! I better be payed overtime for this.
He says as he slowly walks to the glow.

*Small timeskip brought to you by chibi Grif being a square*

Tucker: Sooo, what is it.
He points to the glowing red portal.

Caboose: It is probably a portal made by a woman who can turn into a bird, who's name coincidentally is named Raven, to another universe where there are monsters and teenagers who spend their life's training to kill the monsters... and animal people.
He says completely correctly as the others stare in disbelief.

Tucker/Grif/Sarge: You're still retarded/*pants*/Why, you make up the craziest things sometimes, blue.
He says with a chuckle as Grif passes out.

Tucker: But sarge, we do have portals, remember, I become black every time I go through one.
He explains to the pira- I mean sarge.

Grif: *mumbles through sleep* That's racist
He says while passed out somehow.

Sarge: Well it's red so that means it's completely okay, I saw we jump through it!
He says enthusiastically

Tucker: But, how do we know it's safe?
He says as a bird with red eyes flies though the portal.

Grif: *wakes up slowly* Well that bird went through and it's fine.
He says as he is still laying on the ground.

Caboose: Bye Raven! Yeah I think Sargent is right we should go into the hole.
He says followed by an awkward silence.

Sarge: Oh right, Donut isn't here so let's go into the hole!
He says as he jumps in.

Tucker: BOW CHCIKA BOW WOW!
He shouts as he jumps in.

Caboose just falls backwards into it.

Grif: I gotta do more moving? Come on!
He says as he crawls through the portal.