Red vs Blue in the RWBY universe

This one goes to eleven.

Sarge: CHARGE!!!

He shouts as the Reds, blues, Yang, Ruby, Yang, and Penny charged in to battle. Tucker runs in swishing and stabbing the thugs with his sword, Grif walks forward a bit before crouching and shooting them with a battle rifle, Sarge charges in screaming various one lines while blasting the thugs with his shotgun, Caboose just kinda say there watching, Ruby stayed on top of a building sniping the thugs with a scythe that turned into a sniper somehow, and Penny opened her back pack and a bunch of swords came out and started flying around slashing all the people.

Sarge: HAHA! I hope you brought your wallets, cuz the rent in hell gets payed in advance! *shotgun shot* You just got sarge'd!
He continued yelling one liners.

Tucker: Woah! Nice swords you got there! *he yells at penny* once I'm don't using this one *holds up his laser sword* maybe I can show you my other one! BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!
He yells as a female White Fang thug kicked him in his crotch.

Tucker: *strained* it was worth it.
The thug stepped on his chest and raised an axe and was about to bring it down before Yang shoots her back with her gauntlets.

Yang: You most definitely did NOT deserve that.
She says helping Tucker up.

Tucker: *in pain* Why does nobody love me?

Sarge: Because you are a blue nobody loves blues, reds are the best.
He says as Ruby yells *yeah*, and Grif runs away.

Sarge: Grif get your useless butt back here this instant.

Grif: *distant* Hold on, I'm getting something!
He says as Sarge growls and grumbles.

The fight kept on going on, there were so many of them. Eventually, just before they won. The leader, Roman Torchwick, knocks down Ruby and points his cane at her again, as everyone watches in horror.

Torchwick: Sorry Red, this is the end of the li— what is that noise? *hears some music and an engine getting louder* Wait, is that a... CAR!

He yells as Grif drives over a ramp and rams into Torchwick, barely missing Ruby, and knocking him into a bullhead which then takes off with Torchwick kicked out inside it as some other White Fang jump in, and escape.

Grif: *turns off music and turns to the rest* Sup?
He says as everyone else cheered

Sarge: Ha, Who knew Grif could actually do something with his worthless life after all!

He says as Grif puts his legs up and his hands behind his head. The celebration lasted another 6 seconds until the police arrived.

Caboose: oh no! The popo is here.

Sarge: *whispers* Shut up and follow my lead. Why hello there officers whatever do you need.

Cop: What happened here?

Sarge: Oh we were throwing a... party! Yeah sweet 16 for Ruby.
He says pulling Ruby next to him who just awkwardly chuckles and pushes away.

Cop: Well if it's a party, why were there explosions.

Grif: Fireworks.

Cop: And the bodies?

Tucker: Drunk.

Cop: Well then why are they dressed up as the white fang?

Caboose: It was a cosplay party...
Everyone, including the cops, just went silent.

Cop: And why is there so much dust crates.

Sarge: It's uh, a present! For Yang!

Cop: I thought it was Ruby's birthday.
He says glaring at sarge.

Sarge: Uh, they have the same birthday!

Cop: And what day is that.

Ruby/Yang: October 31st!/ July 28th.
They all started looking at each other awkwardly.

Cop: It's November 7th...

Grif: We were celebrating their half birthday?
He says uncertainly.

Cop: Well at this point I don't care. Happy birthday, or something.
He says as they walk off.

Sarge: Whew, That was a close one. Almost had to pull out my trap card.
He says as he cocks his shotgun.

Blake: I can't believe that worked.
She says awestruck.

Weiss: It should not have worked.

Yang: But it did.

Grif: Yeah, So... ya know, suck it blue!
He says with jazz hands.

Tucker: Hey I helped!
He says pretending to be hurt.

Yang: That is one point for Tucker, and 10 points AGAINST Tucker.
She says sarcastically as Blake starts to walk off.

Sarge: And where on earth do you think you're going?
He shouts at Blake.

Caboose: Uh sarge, we aren't on earth anymore. Remember? We are on Remnant now.

Sarge: Oh right yeah. I mean, shut up Caboose.
He says regaining his composure.

Blake: I want you to know that I am longer associated with the white fang. Back when I wa—
She started but was interrupted.

Weiss: Stop. Do you have any idea how long we've been searching for you? Twelve hours. That means I had twelve hours to think about this. And in that twelve hours I've decided... *everyone starts getting the suspense vibes* I don't care.

Blake/Grif: You don't care?/That not very nice.
Everyone ignores Grif, as usual.

Weiss: You said you weren't one of them anymore, right?

Blake: No I haven't been since—
Weiss rudely interrupts, again.

Weiss: *interrupting noises* I don't want to hear it... all I want to know, is next time something this big happens, you'll come to your teammates, and not... *looks at monkey man eating a stolen apple* not someone else.
She says followed by silence, Blake then wipes a non-existent tear out of her eye.

Blake: Of course.
She says followed by more silence, that is until Ruby jumps into the air and shouts:

Ruby: YEAH! TEAM RWBY IS BACK TOGETHER!
She then pulls her teammates into a group hug.

Tucker: *whispers* That is so hot.
But to his dismay, they all heard, stopped celebrating, and turned his way. Slowly walking towards him.

Tucker: uh- well- you see- I-I didn't say that!
He yells as Yang kicks him to the floor, then kneels over his body and lifts her arm into the air.

Yang: Don't worry tucker, you'll be too unconscious to feel anything.

Tucker: *grabs a cone* Protect me cone!
He yells as the screen then pans over to the reds and blues.

Grif: Yeah he probably should've known, cones don't do a good job protecting people.
He says recalling the last time he yelled: "protect me cone!"

Sarge: Should we help him?
He says turning to his other blue freindenemypanion

Caboose: No, I think he is fine... no he probably won't be. But I never liked Tucker anyway.

Grif: Yeah he won't be missed. Let's go.
He says as they all start to walk away.

Sarge: Have any of you boys had shawarma before?