Red vs Blue in the RWBY universe

Whats a faunus?

Sarge: Ruh roh! That didn't go well.
He says as Cardin mops the floor with Jaune as his aura thingymagig goes into the red.

Glynda: Students as you can see Mr. Arc's aura has now dropped into the red. In a tournament style battle this would indicate Jaune is no longer fit for battle.

Tucker: *leans over to Grif* Was he ever?
He says as the they laughed and Pyhrra scowls at them.

Sarge/Phyyra: Can it bluetard/Thats not very nice.
They say shutting the two partially sane members of the reds and blues up.

Glynda: We wouldn't want you to be gobbled up by a Beowulf, now would we?

Cardin: Speak for yourself.
He says rudly as he walks away as Phyyra scoffs angrily at him.

Glynda: Remember Everyone, the Vytal festival is only a few months away! It wont be long before students from all the other kingdoms come to visit, and remember that you will be representing all of Vale.
She says as everyone cheers and she walks away.

Grif: What's Vale?

Tucker: Grif have you been paying any attention?

Grif: No.
He says bluntly.

Tucker: That's the kingdom we are in, there are four, remember?

Grif: Hmm, No. must've fallen asleep. Oh well got to go catch some Z's se ya later.
He says as he walks away.

Blake: I don't get it, how is it that all he does is eat and sleep? Shouldn't he be dead by now?

Sarge: Ya know missy, we all wish he was dead too but for some reason god doesn't allow it! It's like he is taunting us, just kill him already! I made a little jingle to go along with it, want to hear it?
He asks excitedly.

Literally everyone: Please no.
They all say as Sarge sighs sadly and walks away.

Tucker: Well se ya later babes I gotta go now.
He says as he walks away and all of the female point their weapons at him.

Caboose: Oh now come on! We're all friends right? I mean *incomprehensible noise* we have know each other for years!

Weiss: We have only been here a week you dunce!

Caboose: ... neat.
He says as he magically teleports away.

*Timeskip brought to you by chibi Tex and chibi Glynda having a mean conversation*

Nora: So there we were, in the middle of the night.

Ren: It was day.

Nora: We were surrounded by ursa.

Ren: They were Beowulfs.

Nora: DOZENS OF THEM!

Ren: Two of them.

Nora: But they were no match for Ren and I, we took them down and made a boatload of lien selling ursai skin rugs!

Ren: She has been having this reoccurring dream for a nearly a month now.

Sarge: HAHA That was an amazing story "thank you!" But not quite as amazing as the time I took down the Meta single handedly.

Grif: Um Sarge that was team effort.

Sarge: Ah shut up Grif you almost died. So there we were out numbered and out matched!

Tucker: What do you mean outnumbered? We outnumbered him six to one!

Sarge: Nuh uh, anyway, right as defeat was about to come, a brave hero named Sarge dove in and grabbed the metas attention, I attached a tow cable to him, and kicked the car it was attached to OFF A CLIFF!
He says as Yang and Ruby bounce up and down excitedly.