Red vs Blue in the RWBY universe

Retail store

Sarge: For some reason I'm not surprised by this. I mean, for some reason wherever Ruby goes, important things happens. Why is that?
He asks as team *WBY, JNPR, and the rest of the reds and blues interrogate Ruby and Caboose about last nights events.

Caboose: Plot reasons.

Everyone: Be quite Caboose.

Weiss: What did the impostor look like?

Ruby: I didn't get a good enough view of her to see.

Caboose: She has black hair and amber eyes.
Everyone but Grif then turns to Blake.

Blake: Wow, you just assume it was me because she had the same hair color and eyes.
She says crossing her arms.

Jaune: Well amber eyes aren't that common.

Yang: And they were a female with black hair...

Tucker: Oh! Did you see their backside? Because that would make it really easy to tell if it's Blake!
They all turn their attention to him.

Blake: *angrily* And what do you mean by that, Tucker?

Tucker: I mean you have a b—
He gets interrupted again by Grif hitting his helmet.

Grif: Did the imposter have a bow or cat ears?

Caboose: No.

Blake: See? Couldn't you have asked for an obvious clue before just assuming it is one of your teammates and friends?
She says before going back to her bunk bed and reading a book.

Intercom: Will Ruby Rose And Michael Caboose please come to the headmasters office? Thank you.
It says as Ruby and Caboose leave.

Nora: Wait, Caboose is your real name?

Grif: Yeah, what did you think it was?

Jaune: Well Sarge doesn't seem like a normal name, well none of you have normal names so I assumed that they were all codenames.

Tucker: No these are our real names.

Yang: Who would name their kid Sarge?

Grif: Except for him, that's his rank.

Phyyra: So What is your real name?

Sarge: Well about that...

Ten minuets later.

*W*Y/JNPR: HOW IS IT THAT LONG!

Tucker: BOW CHICKA BOW WOW

Sarge: Heh, Well you need a Mandarin keyboard to type the whole thing, and the fifth letter is an emoji!
He says as everyone stares in disbelief except the Reds and Blues.

Yang: I'll make a mental note of that for some puns.

Grif: Oh yeah! Speaking of puns, I have an amazing joke for you Blake!
He tells Blake who is reading a book in the corner.

Blake: *sigh* What is it?

Grif: Where does a cat go when it loses its tail.

Tucker/Blake: That's racist/I don't have a tail.

Grif: A RETAIL STORE!
He says as Blake continues to stare at him, unamused, Yang And Grif crack up laughing, and everyone else sighs.

*In Ozpins office*

The elevator doors open, after a long time of waiting, and Ruby and Caboose walk out.

Ruby: Sorry we're late, someone pushed all the buttons on the way up.
She says emphasizing the "someone" and looking at Caboose.

Caboose: Tucker did it.

Ozpin: Thank you for coming, how are you feeling?

Caboose/Ruby: EXCELLENT!/Okay I guess... I'd feel a little bit better if my bad guy catching record wasn't 0 for 3.
She says with a chuckle, followed by an awkward silence which was broken a while later by Caboose making a fake laugh.

Ironwood: Ruby, I feel it's appropriate let you know that I think what you did last night was EXACTLY what being a huntress is all about. You recognized a threat, you took action, and you did the very best you could.

Caboose: Hey! What about me?

Ironwood: I don't even know who you are. And where did you get that armor?

Caboose: Oh, hi! My name is Micheal J. Caboose and I hate babies, Taxes, and Chinese finger traps. And I have no idea where I got this armor, I think it was given to me when I joined the army, which was a LONG time ago.

Ironwood: I don't have any memory of someone as young as you joining my army, or someone with that advanced of armor. What army did you join?

Caboose: It was an acronym, I think it had a U and a C in it. And we all wear this type of armor, just different colors.

Ironwood: I'll be needing a talk with him later Ozpin, for now let's continue to talk about the events of last night.

Ozpin: Yes, the General has already informed us of the events that transpired last night.
Suddenly the doors of the elevator open up revealing Tucker.

Tucker: Those weren't the only events that took place last night! Bow chicka bow wow!
He says as the doors close again.

Ironwood: Oz, How many are there?

Ozpin: Four, anyway *turns attention to Ruby* now that you have rested we were wondering if you had anything to add?

Goodwitch: Was anyone else with her? Did she look familiar to you at all?

Ruby: I... I don't know. She was wearing a mask and she didn't say anything to me.
She says sheepishly.

Caboose: Well she had Black hair and Amber eyes... Oh! And after she left there was a Black Queen chess piece that showed up on the computer she was near.
He says as the three adults looked at each other surprised.

Ozpin: Very well, if you don't have anything else to add, you may leave.
He said as Ruby and Caboose started to leave but before so Ruby said...

Ruby: Oh and i head her say something about a hideout in southeast Vale!

Goodwitch: I thought you said—
She was cut off by Ozpin placing his can in front of her.

Ozpin: Thank you for your cooperation Ruby. You should go spend time with your team, you have a big day ahead of you.
He says as Ruby and Caboose leave