Red vs Blue in the RWBY universe

Something's wrong I can feel it

Sarge: YIPEE KI YAY!
Sarge yells as he rest of the crowd at the arena is "Murmuring with anticipation" as the subtitles say.

Port: *via speakers* And now the moment we've all been waiting for... THE ONE ON ONE FINALS!

Tucker: BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!
He yells from the stands as the entire stadium unanimously facepalms.

The lineup we've got now is none other than:

Goldilocks!
Jack Sparrow!
Donkey Kong!
Larry the Stormtrooper!
Caboose!
Sacajawea!
One Cent!
Stalker!
Queen Leonidas!

Port: Barty why don't you explain the rules?

Oobleck: Ah, it's quite simple Peter. Instead of a bracket system, each round of the finals will be RANDOMLY determined IMMEDIATELY before the match takes place.

Port: Much like any good hunt, there will be zero time to prepare!

Sarge: Haha! That what I think every time I go out hunting for blues!

Grif: Wait speaking of blues, has anyone noticed a lack of spelling errors and idiotic comments.

Tucker: Ni mot teally.

Grif: Wait, where is Caboose?
He says as they all start to look around and even under their seats, until they find him among the fighter.

Sarge: Great Scott! Caboose is with the fighters! I'm so conflicted wether to be happy that a blue might die, or that my friend-enemy-panion made it to the finals!

Grif: He's Caboose Sarge, even without plot armor he is invincible.

Sarge: Shut up, dirtbag.

Oobleck: Now, let's see who our first match will be!
He says pointing into your soul.

Then the screen "Randomly" choose a battle. It lands on Yang and Caboose.

Port: Wait a minute! Caboose isn't supposed to be here get him out of— wait he's already go—
He gets interrupted by Caboose appearing behind him.

Caboose: Hello!
He says before getting punted out by Port's Hamaxe thing.

Then the thing spins in Caboose's spot and lands on Stalker, I mean Uranus, I mean Mercury.

Ruby: BREAK A LEG SIS!

Nora: Literally!

Tucker: She is going to take that literally now isn't she?

Grif: Meh, his legs or feet are metal anyway.

Sarge: Wait, what?

Grif: Yeah, he only uses his feet, they are REALLY strong, and make sparks.

Sarge: Huh, who knew?

Caboose/Grif: Me.

Port: Would all the other combatants please kindly get out of me swamp!

Then the light turns off and magical lights shoot down from the Authors house and light up the stage.

Yang: You better not go easy on me!
She says as Tucker yells in the background.