Lost In Our Imagination 2: Not As Planned

31 - Tearing Us Apart

August 2018

Katie P.O.V

It's been 3 days since Brad and I had an argument and we've barely said a word to each other. He's slept on the sofa every night so when I leave for work in the morning I don't see him and then when I come home he isn't there as he goes out and then comes home in the middle of the night when I'm already asleep. He also spent the day before yesterday at his parents and I was suppose to go too but as we aren't on speaking terms he went without me and returned the next morning. I then had a phone call from Brad's very confused sister and I had to assure her that everything was fine and I'd explain later.

Ultimately to say the past couple of days have been hard is an understatement. It's been hell. I don't want to argue with Brad but in the short 6 months we've been married it's all we seem to do.

This morning when I woke up I got ready like a usual work morning as I thought it was probably the best time to get some work done. I walked past the living room and could see Brad starting to wake up so I quickly walked towards the front door.

"Katie" he called and I stopped by the door. I thought about turning round or replying, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready to face him yet, not until I'd figured this out myself so instead I just opened the door and left the apartment.

I drove to work and spent about an hour there doing not a lot as I couldn't think straight. The past few days I've kept it in but I had to sort this out, and now. Instead of wasting more time I left the studio and drove to the see the one person I'd relied on for the past 10 years.

"Livi I really need to talk to you" I shouted as I walked into her apartment.

"Katie?" Livi asked walking out her room.

"Umm the door was open so I just came in"

"It's fine, I'm glad your here" Livi smiled.

"I need your help Livi, I don't know what to do"

"Come sit down" Livi said as we walked into the living room, "Megan's on her way over"

"Okay, where's James?" I asked and Livi just shrugged.

"We had an argument yesterday about me going to see Ben and I haven't seen him since, Megan said that he stayed at there's last night and him and Connor have gone out today so that's why Megan is coming over"

"Oh Livi I'm so sorry"

"It's fine, I can't decide if I'm upset or angry about it. I mean I'm upset that James doesn't trust me and that we argued but I'm angry that he's being so selfish and hasn't once taken my feelings into consideration"

"Livi it's Ben he doesn't trust, just give him some time and he will realise what's important to you"

"I hope so, and I hope he realises before I go to see Ben in a couple of days"

"In a couple of days?"

"Yeah it's been over a month since he left and I wanted to go before I go back on tour"

"Well if that's what will make you happy then go for it"

"I just hope it's worth it" Livi smiled and I smiled in return.

"Anyways I'm guessing the reason your here is not because of mine and James' argument" Livi added, laughing slightly and I just shook my head, "it's about the baby isn't it"

"Yeah, it's all I've been able to think about since I found at 3 weeks ago" I sighed.

"3 weeks ago?" Livi asked shocked.

"I'm already a month in Livi" I shrugged.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Because I was scared, I didn't know what was happening with Emily and then Brad and I kept arguing so I didn't think it was the right time"

"Katie there is never going to be a right time, but Brad has to know"

"Livi I can't tell him, he'll go mad and we both don't need this right now"

"It's not just the two of you anymore though, you have to think of the baby Katie"

"I know I do but how am I going to get through this knowing it's not what Brad wants"

"You don't know that?"

"Yes I do, it's all he's been saying for the past month. He doesn't want this and now it's too late"

"Well you could always still..."

"No not happening, I know what your going to say and that is not an option. I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd done that"

"That only leaves one option then, your going to have this baby and before long it's going to be clear that your pregnant, Brad will figure it out"

"Well let's just hope I can keep it a secret for a little while longer" I sighed and then there was a knock on the door before Megan walked in.

"I've missed you guys" Megan smiled walking over and pulling Livi and I into a hug before sitting beside me on the sofa, "so what's new?"

"Well...." I sighed, "I'm one month pregnant"

"Holy shit" Megan practically screamed.

"Congratulations" Megan added, "you must be so happy"

"I haven't really had time to be considering I've spent the last 3 days being ignored by my husband who doesn't even know yet"

"What, why not?"

"Because he doesn't want kids"

"What?"

"He doesn't want kids and I'm fucking pregnant!"

"That's a bit of an issue"

"It's more than a bit of an issue, it will tear us apart, more than we already are" I snapped and I put my head into my hands and tears started falling from my eyes.

"Katie it's going to be okay" Livi said as she wrapped her arm around me.

"How is it going to be okay? I've messed everything up"

"No you haven't so don't even think that you have okay" Megan added.

"Brad will leave me when he finds out, I know he will"

"No he won't, Brad isn't like that" Livi said.

"How do you know he won't?" I asked.

"Because if you two talk about it then you can sort something out" Livi replied.

"You have to tell him though, no matter what the outcome he deserves to know" Megan added.

"I can't face him though, not yet"

"Well when can you because before long he will figure it out himself and that won't go down to well" Livi said and she had a point.

"I'll just wait as long as possible and then when it gets to a point where I'm showing, then I'll tell him and I'll just have to hope he's okay with it"

"I'm sure he will be" Megan smiled attempting to reassure me.

Id like to think he will be because I need him. I can't do this without him, I can't do anything without him and no matter how many times we argue I still love him and I want me and him to be part of our own family. I just hope he'll learn to want that too.