Lost In Our Imagination 2: Not As Planned

28 - I Can't Just Jump

August 2018

Livi's P.O.V

"I'll be back at around half 1 today, we're not doing much in the studio so I should be back home soon" James said as he got dressed for work, it was like 7 in the morning as James left so flipping early for work.

"Well I'm here all day, Frank said he didn't want us in today as we leave to start the tour again tomorrow" I said still lying in bed.

"Well, I will back to take you out to dinner before you go on tour, I'm gonna miss you" he smiled leaning over and kissing me.

"I'm going to miss you too" I smiled before he left. I needed to finish packing for the tour so I decided I would do that first. I opened our wardrobe and pulled out some clothes that would last me the tour. I just threw them all on the bed while I was getting them out of the wardrobe so now I had to fold them all to fit in my suitcase. Last time I did this Ben and I spent ages trying to close my suitcase. I had to sit on it while he tried to zip it up. Thinking back to that made me want to talk to Ben so I got my Ipad and clicking on FaceTime. I suddenly remembered the time difference and sighed. I looked at the clock it was only quater to 8 so I thought I would try anyway as theres a chance he could still be awake. It rang for a little bit until it said that it was connecting.

"Hey" Ben smiled as it connected.

"Hey, I wasn't sure if you would be awake or not" I smiled and he laughed.

"Well I wouldn't normally be but I couldn't sleep" He laughed, "What are you up to anyway?"

"I was just packing my case for the tour and thought of last time when we had to full on sit on my case to get it shut!"

"I remember that, you always over pack where ever we go"

"I know I know, I've just got worse as time goes on because I get more clothes"

"Maybe you should stop buying them"

"Where's the fun in that" I laughed getting up to start folding my clothes.

"So how is America? What's your show like?"

"The show is really cool, we're filming at the moment! There's about 3 weeks left of the show and then we're done for this season"

"Sounds cool, I can't believe you're on TV! I'm going to what every episode" I laughed shoving more stuff in my suitcase.

"Yeah it's really weird! After the show I'm moving in to this really cool house with two of the other dancers, they've become good mates of mine so we thought we get a house together"

"Can you afford it already?"

"Yeah, the pay of this show is good and I've got money from the show in London" he nodded and I smiled.

"Well I'm really happy for you, it sounds amazing"

"You know you're welcome to come and vistit any time you know right"

"Thinking about it makes me really want to come out there, even though I left to get away from it"

"Well you know there's always a place for you to come and stay with me"

"Thanks Ben, maybe after the tour I'll take you up on that" I laughed and he smiled.

"How is the dance going? I mean now you've lost me"

"To be honest, it feels really weird not having you up there with me"

"You know you're the best dancer up there right, you don't need me to shine up there"

"I've never been up there alone though, I always have you with me"

"Livi, trust me, even if I'm not physically there, I'm still there with you and you'll be smashing it"

"Thank you, it's just.. I don't know it's stupid" I sighed sitting cross legged in front of the iPad.

"Come on Livi you can tell me"

"I don't know, I guess I just feel like with dancing I was born to fly, you know that feeling you get when you're out of your mind and nothing else matters, it's just you, the music and the space you're in... You can do whatever you want in it"

"Yes, I know exactly what you mean"

"When I'm with you I know you're there to catch me when I'm 'flying' I guess"

"Livi I was only your protection, you never needed me with you to dance"

"But it doesn't feel like that, it feels like without you I will fall flat on my face"

"Livi, how do you expect to fly, if you can't even jump? You were born to do this, so go, don't worry about your fears and dance your heart out"

"Thanks Ben, I need to go now but I'll talk to you soon" I smiled and he nodded.

"Good luck, you'll be amazing" he smiled and then we hung up. I sighed and looked at my suitcase. I wanted to be able to go out on that stage tomorrow and just be free but I felt like I was still stuck in a cage without Ben. I grabbed my bag with my dance kit in and rang Katie.

"Hey Livi, you alright?" She asked answering the phone.

"Hey do you mind if I quickly borrow one of your studios?" I asked walking to the door.

"Yeah of course, I'm down here now so just come in and use one" she said and I thanked her before walking down to the car. I drove over to the dance studio and parked the car out the front. I walked in and waved to Katie before going in to an empty studio. I plugged my phone in and stood in front of the mirrors. I looked back at my reflection and closed my eyes thinking about the routine in my head. I let what Ben said to me run through my head, "how do you expect to fly, if you can't even jump". I blacked everything out and just thought of the music and Ben's words. Before I knew it I was taken away with the song and went through the whole dance without falling.

"Wow, I think that's the best I've ever seen you dance" Katie said from the door.

"Thanks" I laughed standing up, "that's the first time I've been through it properly"

"Really? It looks amazing, what's gone through your mind to get it right?"

"Just something a friend told me" I smiled.

"Well, keep listening to it, it's got a massive influence over you"

"Yeah, they alway had" I sighed.