Lost In Our Imagination 2: Not As Planned

34 - You Mean Everything To Me

September 2018

Livi's P.O.V

"I can't believe you have to go home soon" Ben sighed as we sat on the sofa together watching 90210. It was a show we had both become obsessed with over the past week.

"I know, I'm going to miss you loads! I miss my room mate"

"I miss mine too, the guys here are cool but you were way better company"

"I know I am, that's why everyone wants to live with me" I winked at him and he laughed.

"So what shall we do for dinner?" He asked and I laughed.

"Well, as much as I love your microwave meals! I think maybe we should go out for dinner"

"Yeah that's probably a good thing to do, go get changed then I'll take you to this really nice place near by" He said and we split and went to our different rooms to get ready. I had on shorts and a top from after getting out the pool before so I just found a jumper and threw it on over the top as it was a bit cooler now. I walked downstairs and waited for Ben.

"Ready to go?" I asked and he nodded walking down the stairs. He drove me to this restaurant near the beach. We went in and they knew who Ben was right away. They sat us on the terrace so we could see the view.

"If the sun doesn't set while we're sat here we can go down to the beach and watch it down there" Ben said looking out to the sea.

"Sounds good to me, now what would you recommend here?" I smiled and he went through the good dishes on the menu. We had a really nice meal and it was much better than the food Ben had been giving me. I only had a few days left before I would have to head home but I've loved being out here with Ben, his life seems pretty amazing! Way better than mine and Katie's ever was out here... I liked living back home and touring with the show but it was nice to see that there was another side of LA that Katie and I never really got to see when we were here. Apart of me wanted to come out here and join Ben on his show but I knew that performing for a live audience was a lot more satisfying than on a show... I also wouldn't want to leave Katie and all the guys. James would probably hate me if I moved out here to be on a TV show... London was where I belonged, I just wish Ben would move back too. We finished our meal and the sun hadn't set yet.

"Shall we make our way to the beach then?" Ben asked and I nodded. Ben paid for the meal and then we walked down to the beach.

"So are you going to tell me about your fight with James?" Ben asked as we walked along the beach.

"How did you know..." I asked looking up at him.

"When you were on the phone to him the other day, you didn't sound happy..." He said and I sighed, "I promise I wasn't listening in"

"I didn't think you were" I said, "he just doesn't understand why I came out here"

"What do you mean?"

"Because of my job and his job we don't see each other a lot as we're always on tour. So when I told him I was coming out here he wasn't very happy as it was the only week we would have been home together for in a while... We had a big fight about it and I just left to get on the plane. I think he thinks I'm going to have some secrete affair with you or something, he thinks something's going on after seeing us dance when we graduated"

"He was there?" He asked and I nodded,

"he went without telling anyone... He just got really annoyed and pissed off when I told him I wasn't going to be at home that week"

"Livi why didn't you tell me, we could have changed the date you came out here"

"Because I wanted to see you, I couldn't wait any longer" I said, "when I get home he'll be there, you won't! This is the only time I'm going to get to see you for ages, we live miles apart"

"But he's your boyfriend" he frowned

"And you're my best friend"

"So how are you two, apart from that fight..."

"We're... We're livi and James" I sighed

"What does that mean"

"It's means that everyone had their opinion of this relationship before it started and I never got time to make mine..."

"Well I know what my opinion is..."

"I just think that everything with James in his eyes is just like it was, but I'm not the same person I was, and it's not the same for me..."

"Are you happy with him?"

"What?"

"Livi, are you happy with James?"

"What, of course I am, I mean we're different but I love James, he's the only guy that's been there for me, he's been amazing to me, how could I not be happy with that..." I said my mind going crazy.

"Livi he wasn't the only guy there for you"

"What are you talking about, he's been amazing to me"

"What about everything I've done for you?"

"You? What moving away to California was for me?"

"It's complicated livi"

"Really how complicated can it be? You just left, without telling me why! And Ella, what you did to her was just mean"

"I didn't mean to hurt her" he yelled at me.

"Then why did you do it!" I yelled back stopping in the street.

"Because Livi I'm still in love with you, I never got over you, i know what I did was horrible to Ella but I needed to get my mind away from you after you shoved him in my face, especially by letting him move in with us! I tried to be ok with you and James, you're my best friend and I want you to be happy more than anything! But you're everything to me livi, I couldn't stand to be around you falling in love with a guy that wasn't me!" I couldn't listen to him go on anymore, everything he just said broke my heart so I did the only thing I wanted to do in that moment. I kissed him. I placed my arms round his neck and once he relaxed his hands found their way to my waist. After a minute or so I pulled away.

"I do love you Ben! That's my problem! I don't know what it is but us together just seems right but I couldn't just throw away everything I had with James! You mean so much to me, which is why it hurt so much when you left"

"This whole time, you've felt the same way?"

"Of course I have Ben"

"But why did you never tell me?"

"Because I didn't know what to do, so I went for the safe option I guess"

"You don't know how much I want to be with you" he whispered placing his head on mine.

"Believe me, I feel the same"

"You're not just messing with me are you, because I do love you livi" he ran his hand down the side of my face.

"Ben listen to me, I'm done hiding things, you mean the most to me out of everyone on this planet, well a close second to Katie" I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"What about James?" He whispered bringing his lips inches away from mine.

"Can we not talk about him" I said before pressing my lips on to his again. I don't know what was happening but I was fed up of having to lie to Ben all the time. I care about him and James has been driving me crazy this past month so being here with Ben just made me want to tell him everything.

"Should we go home?" Ben whispered and I nodded. The sun had set while we were talking so we went back to the car and drove back to the house. We reached the house and walked in, neither of us saying anything to the other.

"So, what should we do know..?" Ben asked rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm the guest, you tell me" I said and he laughed.

"You're not my usual guest"

"Good" I smiled before kissing him agian.