Lost In Our Imagination 2: Not As Planned

60 - Cleaning Things Up

April 2019

Livi's P.O.V

James moved out last week, we both did some things to each other that neither of us are proud of but I feel a weight off my shoulders now everything is out in the open and we're not hiding anything any more. James and I decided we needed to talk to each other but we wanted to wait until we weren't still pissed on from both of us cheating on each other. I am still annoyed at James for what he did to me but I can't really do anything about it because I did exactly the same thing. James and I haven't spoke much and I think he's been staying with Katie and Brad for the past week. However, today we're going to actually talk for once, about our relationship. I still care about James and our relationship so of course I did as he said and for the last week I haven't seen Ben. He was a bit annoyed about that but I didn't want to betray James any more than I already had.

"Livi" I heard someone say and I turned to the door.

"Hi James" I smiled weakly.

"Hey" He smiled walking over, I have missed him this past week. It's been weird not having James around as we've always been together, so I opened my arms and hugged him.

"I've missed you" James whispered in to my hair.

"I've miss you too" I admitted, "But we really need to talk"

"Okay so how do you want to do this?" James asked sitting at the breakfast bar.

"Well, shall I explain my side and then you explain yours?" I asked and he nodded.

"Ok so basically, when I went out to America we'd just had our big fight and one night Ben was asking me about what happened between the two of us and then we started talking about how much he wanted to be with me and he left to get away from the two of us and then I don't know what happened but the next thing I know we had kissed and then we went back to his place and..."

"Ok stop I don't want to know any more"

"Yeah I'm sorry, anyway I guess what I want to say is that I'm really sorry about what happened I don't know what came over me but part of me wanted to find out what would happen if I was to be with Ben"

"So you enjoyed it? At least I was drunk out of my mind when I cheated on you"

"Ok can we not fight about this any more, let's just talk about this normally for once"

"Ok I'm sorry, carry on"

"I know what I did to you was horrible, and I have felt awful about it everyday since I got back from America, I have tried so hard to make things work with you but we just keep going round in circles and end up hurting each other time and time again"

"Ok before we go on can I explain my story?"

"Yeah go for it"

"After you left at New Years I was really worried if we were going to work out or not, I thought you were going to leave me once I got back... So when I went to this party an old friend of mine managed to work out that I was in a bit of a shit mood and tried to cheer me up. All night she had me doing stupid things and we got drinking more and more. Eventually we decided to go home so of course I walked her back and when we got there she went inside and I carried on walking down the street. Anyway, stupidly I went back to the door and we ended up hooking up and the next morning your call woke me up and..."

"Oh my god you were sleeping with her when I was on the phone to you"

"Not exactly, I was just in her bed"

"I thought you said you were drunk out of your mind?"

"I was drunk"

"Then how come you remember it all so well"

"Alright fine, maybe I wasn't as drunk as I could have been and yes I probably wanted to see what would happen if I got with her but it changed nothing for me, I woke up the next morning still in love with you and wanting to make things right"

"You know what you're right, I'm sorry that I got annoyed at you, we both wanted to try it and now we have we're still with each other so that should say something"

"Yeah it does, so what we both slept with someone else once, we can move past it if we want to"

"James I don't want there to be any more lies, so Ben and I may have got together more than once while I was out there..."

"Right... ok..." He said balling his fist on the table, "I can forget about that, the main thing is that you're here now"

"James what are we meant to do?"

"Well I know what I want to do Livi, but I think you're the one who actually has to make a choice here, so who's it going to be, me or Ben?"