✔︎𝖮𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌 ░ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗫

Were

After a long week of just sobbing in Minho and Jisung's spare room and avoiding his daughter, Chan finally was with her again. However, not in the way he would've liked.

They were at the cemetery.

To visit a particular grave. One that Chan would forever wish didn't exist, because he didn't want him to be dead. He wanted him here right now.

But that's just not the way the world works.

"Daddy, why did they take us to the c-cem-cemetery?" Maria asked, taking a moment to pronounce the word properly. It wasn't a word she had really ever used before. It pained Chan to know that she'd be using it more often, after all, her Dada was here and this was the only place she'd get to see him. Even if it was a just a headstone.

"Because... your Dada's here, bubs." Chan managed to tell her, squeezing her small hand. She gave him a weird look but allowed him to walk her towards one of the graves that Chan had been told by Jisung was the one.

They stopped at it and Maria lent forward to try read the engraved words.

"F-e-l-i-x. L-e-e." She read. "Felix Lee, that's... That's Dada."

"Yes bubs, that's... T-thats Dada." Chan stuttered, feeling his eyes well up with tears. He let go of Maria's hand and fell down to his knees. "Y-your Dada... H-he's..."

Maria nodded, not needing Chan to finish his sentence. The grave and the headstone proved all she needed to know about her Dada. And why she hadn't seen him the whole week.

It explained why they were at the Lee-Han's house rather than their own. It explained why she could hear her Daddy crying all day and night. It explained why everyone seemed to be on edge.

All because her Dada was dead.

And they never told her.

"Daddy... Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I w-was scared bubs... I-I-I miss y-your Dada a-and I w-was scared how y-you'd react..."

Maria's heart softened.

"Daddy... Should we get flowers for Dada? I think he'd like some..." She said, trying her best to lighten up for Chan. Felix had taught her to always try make the best in bad situations, she never would've guessed that his death would be one. But she should try and be brave for her Daddy, especially when he was so down.

"Yeah," Chan sniffled. "Sungie and Min gave us these." He pulled out a bouquet of orchids from the bag he had carried over. Orchids were the flowers that were part of their wedding decor and the ones that grew by their tree.

Their tree.

God, it really had been so long.

So long since they first met and fell in love.

How many years? Almost 27 now, since they met under that tree.

That wasn't enough time.

He wanted more. He longed for Felix to come back and spend more time with him, another 27 years. Chan didnt even notice the tears falling down his cheeks again as he placed the pretty bouquet down in front of the headstone. Maria adjusted the flowers to look extra pretty for Felix.

It wasn't like he'd see them anyway.

What was the point?

Chan shook away his thoughts, reaching into his bag again with shaky hands. He took out a picture frame with a picture of Felix in it. It was one he took on Chan's phone back in Korea without him noticing. The most recent picture of Felix they had. He looked so alive. Chan swears he could see the cheekiness in his eyes like he knew he would get jokingly scolded for taking the picture later.

That later never happened.

Chan wiped his eyes quickly to no avail as he carefully placed the picture frame by the headstone. It would add some kind of humanity to Felix's headstone.

"D-Daddy?" Maria's sweet voice quivered, gaining Chan's attention. She was on the brink of tears. "C-can I... Can I have hugs?"

"Of course bubs." Chan choked out, opening up his arms for her to dive into, which she did. They sobbed together in front of the grave of the person they both loved.

Why couldn't I have died instead?

After all, who is Lee Chan without his Lee Felix?

Nobody.

I'm nothing without him.