✔︎𝖮𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌 ░ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗫

Me.

"What's the matter bubs?" Chan asked, looking down at Maria who was clutching his hand tightly as they walked down the pavement. They were walking to her school for the first time together since they were discharged, she had missed a little over a month of school. Thankfully they were understanding and were offering her tutoring after school everyday for an hour until she was caught up.

"Without Dada... Where will I go after school? 'Cause you work until late sometimes..." Maria replied, a pout on her lips as she tried to think about it.

"Your oppas, Hyunjin and Seungmin can pick you up and you'll stay at their house until I get back from work, yeah?"

"But what about Minho and Jisung oppas? I wanna stay with them..."

Chan rolled his eyes playfully at his daughter. Of course she would want to stay with them.

"Bubs, they have a baby, they can't take care of both of you."

"Okay..."

"Cheer up, you'll get to see Kkami."

Maria beamed at the idea of seeing the dog and was immediately satisfied with going to that house instead.

They continued walking in a comfortable silence. Maria was smiling and swinging their joined hands back and forth and they walked.

Chan was envious of how smiley she was. He wished he could smile as brightly as she could. He wished he could put on a better happy face just for her but it's impossible. All he could do was be glad.

Be glad Maria was too young to know and feel the full weight of losing someone so close. Of course, she knew her Dada wasn't coming back but she already had come to terms with it. She was brave. Braver than Chan ever would be.

How was he able to raise such an amazing child?

Felix had raised her more than him. Felix was home more often and took care of her when Chan couldn't. No wonder she was strong. No wonder she was brave. Felix was those things and he had taught her how to be brave and strong like him too.

How would Chan keep up with that? He wasn't brave nor strong like Felix was.

He felt the corners of his eyes build up with tears and he quickly tried to blink them away. There was no way he'd cry right now. He didn't want to. Not in front of the school gate.

Maria looked up at Chan, smiling at him encouragingly.

"Bye bye Daddy," She said, wrapped her arms around Chan for a hug that he returned.

"Bye bye Maria." Chan replied, letting go of her. He watched her run off into the playground before he turned away and walked off.

Today, he's supposed to go to work but maybe it could wait until lunch. They'd understand right?

All he wanted was to cry into the arms of his friends. It was all he had been doing but it was all the comfort he could get anymore.

He sent a text to Hyunjin saying he'd come over in a few, that he wasn't ready to go to work yet.

Thankfully the younger understood. Hyunjin and everyone else always understood. It was a welcoming warmth that Chan was so grateful to feel.

What would Chan do without them?

He needed them, otherwise he'd be left alone with only his mind to guide him.

And it's clear his mind doesn't want him around anymore.