✔︎𝖮𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌 ░ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗫

With

The room had such a heavy air in it once Chan entered, the weight immediately resting itself onto his shoulders. He felt like he could crumble to the floor from it's intensity. It was so strange entering the room and feeling so weighed down rather than feeling happy and bubbly back when Felix still slept in this room with him.

He walked in further with slow, painful steps, observing the entire room.

The entire place seemed so dull and lifeless, colourless and empty. So jarring and a complete flip from what he was used to seeing from previously coming in here all the many times before.

Normally it felt full of fun, life and a slight hint of mischief around the corner.

It had lost all of that. Not only from the lack of people living in the room in general but from the lack of Felix's presence. Felix was the one who could bright up any room, any hallway— anything. Anyone. He'd bring a smile to everyone's lips and carrys warmth anywhere he goes.

Without him, it was no wonder the room was so plain.

Once full of love, reflecting the feelings of two happy husbands, was barren and leeched only off of Chan and the depression that bubbled inside of him. He wasn't happy and probably never would be. Despite how upsetting the thought was, Chan was beginning to accept it. After all, what reason left was there to be happy anymore?

Exactly.

There was none. Not any more at least.

He lost his reason.

And so he lost his will to exist on, but he knew not to be stupid. Maria needed him. She needed at least one of her dads with her to give her all the good memories she was so deserving of. Even if life seemed worthless to him, Maria ment more to him. In a way, she was the only remaining scrap of Felix left on the Earth.  Aside from the corpse six feet under.

Taking in a deep breath, Chan walked over to what was his and Felix's shared bed. He walked over to Felix's side, taking a seat on the plush sheets. It still had the same comfortable feeling as always. That's the only thing the bed has in common with how it was before.

Carefully, Chan reached to open the top drawer of Felix's nightstand, curious to see what memories of his late husband he could salvage. Inside were several small dead flowers, a notebook and a few pencils and pens. He closed it and opened up the second which was boxes of ear rings and a small wolf plushie wearing a name tag that read as “Chris”. The sight made his heart warm up. Then lastly the third, full of polaroids and photographs along with stickers and a camera. He closed that one too.

There was plenty of time to go throw it later and go on a long trip down their memories. For now, Chan reached for Felix's old pillow. Bringing over to himself, he was hit by the pungent yet faint smell of Felix. A delicious berry, smothered in a thin layer of vanilla and dusted with crisp autumn air.

Raising the pillow closer to his nose, he knew it smelt like home.

Home was with Felix and this was the closest he'd ever get.

If only he could find more ways to cling on.

He wasn't ready to let go.

But he was trying his hardest.

No matter the pain.

He'd try.

Just for his Lixie.