✔︎𝖮𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌 ░ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗫

Was

"Dear Felix, I— I what?" Chan huffed to himself in frustration. He was sat in his room at his desk, screwing up another piece of paper and tossing it across the room. "Come on Chan, you're 19 and still can't write love letters properly?"

He tugged at his bleached locks as he took out a fresh sheet of paper. Carefully, he wrote out the same 'Dear Felix,' and took a moment to think.

"I can't just put that I love him..." He mumbled, beginning to chew on the lid of his pen. "God, this is tiring... maybe I just shouldn't tell him, he's interested in Binie after all..."

With that settled, Chan sighed, scribbling some random doodles onto the rest of the letter. A cute dinosaur snail thing being part of the most prominent, he knew Felix loved that doodle so much to a point where some days he'd ask Chan to draw them for him again.

He wrote in small handwriting and in English (hoping Felix had forgotten how to read it) under the doodle 'I love you more than as a friend Felix, I really love you —Chanie'. He put his pen to rest and sighed yet again.

"Please don't hate me, Lix." Chan whispered as he folded the paper up all neat and pretty. "Please, please don't hate me."

He pocketed the note and prepared to go out and meet up with Felix under the tree by the river, hoping to whatever higher power there was that they'd at least still be friends despite this. Or even more like his heart had been willing him on for.

However, just because Felix is bisexual, doesn't mean he'd like him, in fact, Chan doesn't even know what he himself is. He began to wonder, is he also bisexual or some variation of that label? Or is he gay and only like men? Felix is the first person he's ever really had a crush on or really found that attractive in both personality and appearance, so he can't even tell.

Chan tried to calm his racing thoughts but it was impossible. There was so much to think about, so much to worry about. He couldn't think right with so many 'what if's floating around his head. The worst one to him was what if Felix hated him and wanted nothing to do with him and his heart felt like it was being pulled down with a weight of heavy iron each time that thought lingered too long.

He chose to go outside, get some fresh air and arrive earlier at the tree to help calm down before he gave himself up to Felix and allowed the younger to see him in his most vulnerable state.